Hi Monica,
Just wanted to stop by and let you know you are thought of.

Monica,
I lost my dad January 11 of this year. It was the hardest day of my life. His death was sudden. Dad had a heart attack a couple of years ago and had a light stroke in November, 2009. We knew his health wasn't good but we never thought we would lose him so quickly. Everyday for months was surreal for me. I wondered if life would ever feel right again Little by little, I have returned to a somewhat normal state of mind.

My dad was my rock. I called him every time I needed something and he was always there to help. The first week after his death, we naturally had a lot to deal with. We had his funeral and then drove 8 hours as a family to the place he was to be buried. I had to set much of my grief aside to take care of my mother whose health is not good. We all were concerned about how this was affecting her. On top of that, I deal with clinical depression as well as pseudoseizures which are brought on my extreme stress. Grieving has been difficult for me because of the seizures. After we got home, I went back to work as a teacher. I didn't have time to grieve. At least, I thought I didn't. I kept trying to take care of my family: children and grandchildren. I distanced myself from my husband. I did what had to be done yet everyday I did not want to be here. I wanted to be with Dad. Slowly, very slowly, that began to fade. A couple of weeks ago, I finally came to a place of peace with his death. My family has had incredible patience with me. Life will never be the same, but it can be good again.

Take things one day at a time. Some days will be harder than others. Recently for me it was the beginning of football season. Dad was a big UT fan. I grew up watching them. Their first game was so hard for me. Getting through the "firsts" will be hard. But each day that you wake up and live in a way that honors him, is one more day closer to your recovery.

Denise Clements

Hi Monica,
You are most welcome and just know you can say whatever you feel. To answer your question, No, I lost my mom in 2005 to Alzheimer's she was only 69 years young. I do my best to keep my positive thoughts going and on those bad days, I just let it out and cry sometimes until my eyes hurt so bad. I have been doing well the past couple of weeks but I feel it coming probably because the holidays are coming and my dad's birthday in December but I will just pray and think of how much happiness both my parents brought to my life.

Monica,
I am so sorry for your lost, I lost my dad suddenly on 3/4/10 and know the pain of feeling alone in your grief. I was an only child, so no siblings, it is my son and his wife but as you said, sometimes people feel you "should" be over it but ignore that, YOU know how you feel. My dad was my best friend and everyday I think of him. Come here and post your thoughts and engage with people who can feel what you feel and won't be judgmental. You will have good days and not so good days but embrace the love that you and your father had for each other and that will help bring a smile on those not so good days.

I'm a grown man that loss my dad 3/14/10 and I cried hard every day for two months after my dad died. I remember after over 2 months, one day I went all day and didn't cry. Before that, I remember at times thinking it would never get better. I remember the unreality. Give it time. The crying helped me a lot. And I mean, the all alone and no one can hear me wailing. This is a video called "Father's Love Letter" and although it can bring you to tears it also is very consoling.

Sorry for your loss and take your time grieving. Some people here are still having troubles over a year after their loss. I just want you to know that eventually life does return to normal, you usually don't see it coming and you can't make it happen. At least I couldn't.

God Bless,
Tim