So very sorry to hear about the loss of your beloved wife and then of your sister-in-law. I lost my husband last August; he was 49 years old. It's been several months now since he is gone, but I still find it difficult to come to terms with my loss. It's irreparable. Like you said, death that is not due to old age is hard to understand and hard to come to grips with. I can relate to your feeling of loss and grief. You have my deepest sympathy. Hope you can find some measure of peace over time.
I lost my beloved wife Janice on June 27, 2013..She was my mate through good times and bad for 27 years. She'd been ill for awhile, and I watched her slowly grow worse, but I saw through eyes that were partially closed in denial. It can be likened to being in a windowless room with no clock, its easy to ignore the lateness of the hour when you're blind to the normal visual indicators. Then you step outside and are shocked to find the darkness. I went to work that morning by exchanging a kiss and an 'I LoveYou', not knowing that it would be the last time, and that upon my return that afternoon I would find her lifeless form on the floor of our home. It's been a long hard journey these last 16 months, you discover things about yourself that never occured before the loss, like how very much connected you were to this woman. What should be obvious, sometimes is as clear as a foggy day, it always is in retrospect.I grew close to her sister Katy, not in a romantic way, but in a human way, she reminded me of Janice in many ways, and helped me deal with my despair. Then this last December, she died too.which reopened a lot of wounds. Death from circumstance not related to old age is hard to understand, being alone is a task left to conquer.