Ronda Johnston
  • Female
  • Apple Valley, CA
  • United States
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Lost my son

Posted on August 17, 2010 at 4:57pm 11 Comments

My son Sean age 25 passed away 2 months ago, He went to hang out with a friend, I guess they talked about getting high & they took some pills & my son pasted out & never woke up. My heart is so broken, I feel like a part of me has passed along with him. Every minute of the day, all day long my mind is on Sean. Im still in SHOCK!!! I have read books & lots of pamplets on grieving, I started going to church, Iam looking for a support group that my husband & I can attend. I… Continue

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At 9:09pm on April 21, 2011, Carol Roberts said…

Love you Ronda!!!!!! <3 <3 <3 Thank you for being my friend, I so wish we lived closer!

I pray you are having some gentle days, know You are always in my heart <3

At 11:40am on April 17, 2011, Mary Ann Squires (Macs) said…

Hello Ronda, Always great to hear from you! I would love to have you as my friend on FB! I'm Macs Squires as that is my nickname, much more informal then Mary Ann. I'll be waiting to hear from you on FB. Hope you are doing okay Ronda, I know we will never be the same without our boys but I also know they would want us to live life as much as we can and learn from every experience whether it is good or bad. Love ya and a great big HUG to you! Macs (Mary Ann)


At 9:16am on April 16, 2011, Nancy Holiman said…

Dearest Ronda, Thank you for your friend Request.

My son Christian died on June 7th 2010 at the age of 25, he would have turned 26 on Sept. 13th. He left behind a 4yr old son, two older sisters and a 21yr old disabled brother which he helped care for.

Even today Ronda I am lost without Chris as we were always so close, we did everything together. I helped Chris raise his son as a single parent, Chris was in/out of problems with drug abuse as an adult and finally just quit "Cold Turkey" turned his life over to Christ and never looked back!

Chris, even with my other children was in more need of "Mamma" do to his son so when his brother called to tell me he wouldn't wake up for church I knew something was wrong? I arrived he had a weak pulse I started CPR.

Christian was kept on Life Support for almost 24hrs before that dreaded decision had to be made, I gathered my children and had them say thier good-byes for now to a brother that held our family together and close to God for so many years, And then I had to do it! I had to let my baby boy go.

I can't tell you what I was feeling, because I was so numb and was feeling such disbelief at that point. All I knew was that I was turning him over to God and he would suffer now more in this life.

But then our journey begins, without them Ronda....One day at a time Honey : )

Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal

At 8:13pm on April 10, 2011, Mary Ann Squires (Macs) said…

Hi Ronda.  Just wanted to let you know I'm thinking of you too. I know it has been awhile since I last wrote to you, life is very busy for me which I guess is a good thing, It helps keep my mind off how very sad I am. I just read a geat book " We are they're Heaven"  It is such a comforting book, a must read book about how our loved ones are always with us and watching over us. I truly loved every page of the book.

I lost two very close friends and the strange thing is I just was with them before they passed away. a very dear friend in Feb to a heart attack and my other dear friend this last Tues. She was 96 but so sponky and my mentor. I guess the good lord is really testing me.

I  miss my son very much too and I know we always will. I'd like to get the word out about drugs and alcohol. the sad thing is when Logan was trying to get clean the doctors were giving him drugs even though he was telling them he didn't want them because he didn't want to get hook again, and they still said he needed them to help him. Shame on the them for pushing pills and not caring about the person.

Keep in touch and take care of yourself. I believe everything happens for a reason and there must be a bigger plan for all of us that we just don't understand yet.

A really big HUG to you.  Macs

At 10:51am on April 6, 2011, shannon churchill said…
Hi Rhonda, I read how your son passed away.   My heart is broken for you...  I thought so many times that Tommy might do the same thing..   He liked to use marajuana, and never had much tolerance to Alcohol.   We found out from the Autopsy that he had neither as a contributing factor that night... simply was not dressed appropriatly to walk home when he got stuck...  it is so sad.   I know so many mothers are in your shoes and mine as well, it was just senseless that we should be here now.   Sometimes I truly feel that they were the lucky ones... especially the way we are living in pain..  I would never want my son to exist like this..... Tommy lost many friends before this happened to him similar to the way your precious Sean passed.   It is an epidemic for young men now.   I'm still trying to get un paralized from this, but when I do I hope I am able to do something to get the word out to help them.    God Bless,   Shannon
At 5:49pm on March 23, 2011, Carrie L said…
Hi Rhonda I am with you 100% the sadness is overwhelming and I don't fHIke doing much either.My heart is broken and i think it is forever I also have a 21 year old he lives in Md wher morgan lived. It is sad beyond belief... I can't even comprehend it getting better. I told my son i was trying to kill myself with these cigaretts. he said he didn't feel like he was trying to kill himself with his... i feel he is and everyone that smokes. but i cannot get past this right now. i am sorry but it doesn't get better it gets worse... love you too. carrie
At 7:00am on March 23, 2011, Carrie L said…
Hi Rhonda thanks for writing. I am very sad and wondering how we are all going to do without our precious son. He was far too young and it is far too sad.. i don't like this at all. I think about it all the time the first tought as i awake every morning and if i get up at night. wouldn't other thoughts of them living be so much better... but we have to go on and make the best out of what we have left. i remember when he was a baby he used to curl his toes... i love him so much and i didn't show him i wanted him to grow up and be ok i thought he was going to be ok. how wrong i ws i never thought he would die. he went to california and i thought he would freeze to death but he did not. then he died... it is beyond comprehension... love to you i am not on facebook. perhaps i should be carrie
At 12:53pm on February 28, 2011, Annette Walters said…

Hi Ronda, 


I am hanging in there and taking it one day at a time.  February 6, 2011 was Chase's one year death anniversary or his going to heaven celebration.  I have been staying busy and I continue to be an advocate on Drug Awareness and Prevention.  I am working with this group that we are going to High Schools and doing a presentation on Drug Awareness and Prevention.  They did a video of me and two other mothers sharing our stories of the loss of our sons, all at the age of 21 and all due to drugs.  I have attached the video for you to watch.  This is what Chase wanted to do is reach out and help others because he had walked in their shoes.  So I am now Chase's voice.  If it can help save one more life then it is all worth it.


How are you doing my dear?  How are you holding up? 


Do you have a facebook page?


Annette Walters

Johns Creek, GA

At 5:06am on February 28, 2011, valerie moore said…
hi ronda, hope you are doing ok, as well as we can be.  yes, today is the 1 yr 6 mon that dusty transitioned into his new life with God and his Angels.  as we all know her, we miss our precious children more than anyone could imagine. nobody else realizes what pain we are in, like the ones who havent lost a child. today, when i get home, i will light a candle and send some balloons up to heaven for him...maybe we could exchange phone # but only if you feel comforble with that.  many hugs and love,  valerie
At 12:47pm on February 26, 2011, Pam Brooks said…

Hi Ronda, thanks so much for your concern. My computer has been down and I haven't been able to respond.  I'm hanging in there.  It would be great to hear from you too.

Many hugs to you.


I am so sorry for your loss; I have those same feelings.  My daughter died in the backseat of a car right outside the emergency room all by herself.  Three horrible people just dropped her off like a piece of garbage.  That is what hurts me so much. 




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