Thank you for your kind thoughts. It's only been a little over 2 weeks and I don't know how I feel. It's an emotional roller coaster. There was a dying process so it was not a sudden demise although the symptoms developed quickly and then was dawn hill. A relative, friend, and myself stayed with him with hospice care at home. I am working, but it's difficult to stay focused. I am 'in the closet' at work so no one really knows what I'm gong through. My friends all say "stay strong" , "it'll get better", but I know it wont in the near future. I now live alone and its the simple things that are so hard now. Cooking for my self, cleaning, shopping, everything is hard. We have 3 dogs that I care for and they are grieving too. So, I'm talking to them all the time. I also talk to Joe's picture and cremains on a table a lot. Yes, I am definitely lonely and sad. I just don't know what to do with myself. Writing to you does have some release. Thanks for your understanding Stephen. Gregg