Hi Tom:

Welcome to a place no one really wants to be.  I am so sorry for your loss.  I'm not going to tell you its easy but it is possible to go one without that someone who was your everything.  Two years ago my husband got killed at work 15 minutes before he was due to come home.  Our son was there and witnessed the tragedy as well.  I can honestly say my husband was my everything, my soul mate, the person I was going to grow old with.  We were together since we were 23, he died at 51.   None of it makes sense and I think when something happens that is sudden and unexpected just processing it takes a long time.  I can't even believe its been 2 years for me--every day seems like it just happened.  No goodbyes, none of that....just didn't come home.  But I do know that my husband loved life and being alive so very much and it showed in how he lived his life.  He wouldn't want anything else but for me and our kids to go on.  Because of them I've put on a brave face and kept going, but honestly felt like a robot going through life's motions and nothing more.  Just recently I've started to feel like theres things here for me to do and I need to become more open to living life and not just going thru it.  I know that's what he would want, and I'm sure your partner would feel the same about you.  As hard as it is we have to think about what we would want for them if things were the other way around, and try to remember that every day.  Just take one day at a time, one moment at a time, and do what feels right for you even if its nothing but reflecting on feelings and memories.  A lot of that will go on.  There's not a day, or even an hour, that goes by that I'm not thinking about my husband, why it happened, why I'm still here, etc.  But for some reason we are left with the grief and emotions and all that comes along with that.  I can't really tell you the answers as to how to survive other than just take one step at a time and do the things that will keep your lovers memory alive.  Keeping busy and distracted also helps get through the tough days.  He will remain in your heart forever and as time goes on you will see signs of him everywhere you go.  My thoughts and prayers are with you, and I hope you can believe that no matter how you feel, we do go on.  Never the same, but we do.  Just allow yourself the time to feel everything you need to feel, talk to people who get it, and ask for help when you need it.   Love, Terry