Hi, my name is Tony, l lost my partner of 18 years to a brain aneurysm nearly three weeks ago. Peter was my life, my reason to live, to love, struggling daily to cope. Have an amazing network of friends and family who are all hurting and grieving from this loss, l have come home from a flick and dinner with my close friends but my sadness when l walk into our apartment and see him in his cremation box kills me, his ashes will be partly scattered on Saturday with his family and them a further celebration of his life with friends in three weeks. How do l cope without him, can not feel anything, taste anything, smell anything, l work during the day, support others, smile, laugh and then fall apart when l close my door at home. 'This cannot be happening but yet it is, l am empty, broken and lost. I am so scared of the future, l am 55, l loved him more than anything, he was 58, why was how taken, my love is gone ....... It is inconceivable that life will continue, is this the new normal?