alaine dougherty
  • Female
  • bethlehem, ppa
  • United States
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Alaine dougherty's Blog

one year

Posted on July 10, 2010 at 11:21am 1 Comment

july 24...one year since michael died...it doesn't seem possible...my heart still aches...i still wait for his phone calls, our dances, our vacations, our "little book club", picking out his clothes for work, sharing lunch and dinner together. the list is endless. i am out there trying to learn how to live life as a "single" person. i really have no idea since i met michael when i was 17. the house doesn't get messed up, less laundry to do, less food to buy...i try to make all that a positive… Continue

dancing

Posted on May 18, 2010 at 11:15pm 0 Comments

i soooooooooooooooooo miss dancing with michael

wedding anniversary

Posted on May 18, 2010 at 11:14pm 0 Comments

may 22 will be thirty four years since we were married...seems like yesterday...may 24 will be ten months since michael died...seems like yesterday...time is so weird...the finality of death is so unreal...i will never get used to this...how can it all be over when it seems like it just started

it seems to be getting harder...

Posted on May 3, 2010 at 9:14am 0 Comments

i have such a heavy, so so sad feeling for days now...i continue to live life but not really...i just do what i needs to be done (or so i think)...but the sadness is always there. my heart feels like a cinderblock...time...that is what most people tell me that have experienced any kind of death...i am waiting...my sadness today is almost worse than last july 24, 2009 because the shock has worn off and reality has set in. i look everyday for something to make me laugh or just smile...i look for… Continue

why nine months is hard

Posted on April 25, 2010 at 2:13pm 0 Comments

with some input from a friend i just figured out why nine months has been so hard...as i said...you can have a baby or you can plan a wedding in nine months...in other words, you can begin a life in nine months...for me, i have had to say good bye to a life. i just didn't realize that was what i must have been thinking until a friend pointed it out to me...thank you to my friend...i am a little calmer now because it makes perfect sense to me about why nine months was rattling me so much. i know… Continue

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At 4:40pm on June 30, 2010, Diane Mitchell said…
Hi Alaine,
Thanks for the nice note. It really means a lot. I read something recently in one of "healing" books. The quote was I am ready to step back into the stream of life. I really liked that because it was sort of giving me permission to move forward. We will always have our memories and our special feelings about Michael and Peter and no one can take those away from us. But we need to go on, we have to but I think we'll be strengthened by the love we had with them. We were so lucky to have known them and loved them and also be loved by them. Not everyone is as lucky as were to have that special kind of love. Unfortunately ours ended way too soon but we still had it for awhile. I think in our darkest moments we need to remember that and just thank God for giving us that love. Well Alaine, I hope you are feeling better physically and healing emotionally as well. I will keep in touch especially these next few weeks. I realize they will be tough for you but just remember, you are not alone. I pray for better days for both of us. Take care of yourself and I'll talk to you soon.
Diane
At 10:50am on June 27, 2010, Diane Mitchell said…
Hi Alaine,
Its good to hear from you. Sorry to hear about your stress test but hopefully these things can be taken care of. Better you find out through a stress test and then go on the proper medication. So good luck with your health issues but I do understand what you're saying. Maybe in some way, Michael guided you toward having this test done because he wants you to be all right. I hope things are getting easier for you. I know its almost a year for you and what a year its been, right? Thats how I feel about the past year. With God's grace we'll get through it and maybe we'll help other people who are hurting because we know how bad it can get. Our lives will never be the same but hopefully someday we'll feel happiness again. I'm sure we will. We have to believe that. Well Alaine, you take care of yourself and please keep in touch and let me know how you are doing because I care. Diane
At 1:14pm on June 26, 2010, brandy said…
Hi alaine,
Hope your days are a little better.
My name is Brandy I live in Hellertown Pa. so we are not that far away,I lost my husband (Richard) 2/13/10,& it is so new ,I feel lost & unknown where I belong or way I'm alone,we had a very close marriage of35yrs.& the last 20yrs. it's been24/7
We both got injuried at work ,so we were on workers compstion,he was hurt in 1987& I in 1993,I have medical consurns,he did every thing ,house work & out side what he was able .
We have one son,who is a great help.
I still have alot of griving but everone says it will get easier,I hope.
keep in touch,& I will be thinking of you.
Walk in love & peace
At 7:11pm on May 19, 2010, Diane Mitchell said…
Hi Alaine,
How are you doing? I see you have an anniversary coming up. I will be thinking of you and praying for you. I really hope something good happens for you that day. I have been doing ok. I have been so busy with everything. Sometimes I ask myself if I'm running myself ragged just to cover up the pain? This time of year brings back a lot of pain because it was this time last year that everything was starting to go bad. I can't help but think back about what was going on at this time last year. I still miss him terribly but I am able to get through the day. At night, it is terrible to climb into bed alone and know he's never going to be next to me again. I cry when I'm alone in bed because I miss him so much. I hope someday it will get easier. Right now, he's still a part of me and I know he's still with me in some way. That gives me comfort. So thats where I am at right now. You take care of yourself and keep in touch.... Diane
At 4:07pm on April 26, 2010, alaine dougherty said…
i am sure you will find something to help with clayton...this site seems to have so much info on it. from what i have been reading, grieving is very different for children. as they go through different stages in life it seems as if they have to grieve again because their thinking changes as they develope. keep me posted!
At 5:45pm on April 25, 2010, Jo Dee said…
Yes, I was hoping to find something that might help Clayton and Kelly both. It's been 3 months now since the accident and it's still very fresh in everyone's mind. Clayton is really doing remarkably well, though. He's had a couple meltdowns, but overall is doing good. He's actually doing extremely well in school and had his best report card ever in March. We expected just the opposite. Baseball season has started and it's been a little tough on him since that's what he and his Dad shared the biggest interest in. Terry's been a great support for him through all of this, though. It just takes time and lots of it......
At 5:10pm on April 4, 2010, Diane Mitchell said…
Well our first Easter and we just got back from visiting Peter's family. It was nice to see them but now its 5:00 and I keep thinking about how Easter used to be. Its terrible not having him here but I guess the first one is always bad. I miss him so much and I want him back. I don't tell anyone this because I know most people are expecting me to move on. Its so hard and I just hope and pray it gets easier. I hope your day was ok and you had fun with the grandkids. It was a beautiful day and I'm glad that Winter seems to be over. Well keep in touch and take care of yourself. Talk to you soon....Diane
At 10:17am on April 1, 2010, alaine dougherty said…
it has been eight months and i still cry each day...i think we will always cry...as time marches on we will just adjust but never get used to being without michael and peter...like any otther change we just don't like it! i miss michael's voice, his touch, his humor and so much more. lets just keep talking and maybe that will help a bit. be gentle with yourself about all this...this is the way it is supposed to be when someone we love with all our hearts dies. i hope you enjoy the sunshine! alaine
At 8:34pm on March 31, 2010, Diane Mitchell said…
thanks Alaine, I like hearing from you also. I was beginning to think that I was getting stronger but I was wrong. Still miss him terribly and still cry in my car everyday on my way to work. Its only been five months so it hasn't been that long. Too many changes but I am trying to take one day at a time. I hope someday we will be able to think about Michael and Peter and it won't hurt so much. Take care and I'll talk to you soon...Diane
At 5:07pm on March 31, 2010, Diane Mitchell said…
Hi Alaine,
Hope you are doing ok. Thanks for sending me this
information. I know it will help. Are your kids going to be home for Easter? I hope so. We are going to Pennsylvania to be with Peter's family. It will be nice. I wish you a peace filled day with your family and loved ones. I too, hope we can get together someday soon. Take care.... Diane
 
 
 

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