Brenda, This will be my first Thanksgiving. I lost Jim on Oct.21. I found this site almost right away and it has helped me. I would love to find a support group to go to, but winter is creeping up fast, so this group will be my lifeline. It does help to know that we aren't alone. There's alot of nice people here.
Hi Brenda - Feeling abandoned is part of grief; I feel it too, but that doesn't mean we weren't loved and cherished. I think Jo makes a good point about finding a grief support group. I find it helps to be and talk with others who are going through the same thing. This website has helped me, too. Sometimes I've gotten a little note from someone at just the right time.
Looking at pictures of my Steve taken last summer (he died in early September), I can hardly believe he's gone. I want to scream, "but he was JUST HERE! Look at us at this wedding in late July, at the block party..." I look, as you do, and I often cry. Who was that happy woman in the picture, sitting next to her husband?, I wonder. I can hardly believe it's me.
Be kind to yourself; it's early in the process. And if you feel like crying, go right ahead. I've hardly missed a day in over two months - and I'm nowhere near finished. I think it'll help in the long run.
You are NOT going crazy,and if you feel so out of control,find some help.I went to Counceling, and may find a group that talks about grief and loss.It is helpful,DON"T try to go it alone,because you can't.I can't and thank God I have friends and family.You need to use all your resourses right now.Call a friend or family member and TELL them you need to talk or go out or just have some company for a while.People don't always know you need help and support unless you tell them.I have had to force myself to do things,but once I do them,I feel a little more in control of my life.It's really hard,you have to re-invent your life alone,but help is out there.I wish you good things.Remember,You are NOT alone.
Brenda, i am so sorry for your loss. Even though you feel abandoned just know that he did not chose to leave you. I believe that crying is one of the best ways to work through your grief. It has been 2 1/2 months for me. The first few weeks i would just have to get up from work leave and go to the cemetery and be with him and cry for a while. It is slowly getting better but I still have times when I go to bed and just let the tears flow. For some reason that always makes me feel a little better. Anytime you need to talk feel free to we are always here to listen. Always remember that no matter what advice anyone gives you just do what you feel in your heart is right for you. You are in my prayers.
I hope you are reading our posts Brenda. If you mean the 10th as in last Sunday, wow. It has only been a week. This is tough. So happy yu found us so quickly. We will try to be here for any questions or "venting" you feel the need to express. Please share a little about yourself and your love. We are here with lots of hugs and prayers
BRENDA: I AM SO SORRY FOR YOUR LOSS. IT IS SUCH A SHORT TIME THAT YOU LOST YOUR LOVED ONE. IT TAKES TIME EVEN TO GET THREW THOSE GRIEVING STEPS. THE ONLY THING THAT I CAN TELL YOU IS TAKE DAY BY DAY CRY WHEN YOU HAVE TO GET ANGRY DO WHATEVER YOU HAVE TO DO. KEEP ON THIS SITE ALSO BECAUSE THERE ARE SO MANY OF US THAT LOST OUR LOVED ONE TO SO MANY WAYS. GEORGE PASS ON 3/1/09 HE HAD A MASSIVE HEART ATTACK. HE WAS NOT SICK BUT I STILL CRY AND IT IS 19 MONTHS THE PEOPLE ON THIS SITE ARE SO GOOD THEY WILL LISTEN TO WHATEVER YOU SAY AND DO NOT AND NEVER DID JUDGE ANYONE OF US PLEASE TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF AND IF YOU NEED TO VENT OUT PLEASE DO WE ARE ALL HERE FOR YOU