Dearest Marybeth: Thank you so much for sharing your pain at the loss of your brother to AIDS. I am sorry and do understand. I am attempting to understand some things that people have told me. Whether this will help you or not I do not know. I was told that when we grieve for long periods of time like we are doing (you and me), we somehow hold our loved ones' spirits to the earthly plane and do not fully allow their spirits to let go into the fullness of their next "adventure." Of course I do not know that this is true, but I can sense that perhaps my sister and my mom may need to get on with their own afterlife just as I may need to get on "with my own life." This does not mean I love them any less of course, or miss them any less. It just means I have to let go of my grip on them a bit. Sometimes I can still hear my sister's laughter . . . or my mom telling me which ingredients to stick in a recipe . . . Laura
Five years ago today I lost my brother and best friend he was 41yrs old. As time goes by it does not get better but you learn to live with the loss. I feel his presence when i am open to it. Sometimes i can't be open because it hurs to much. Thats not good because you miss out on the joy your loved one brings to you when you let them in. I am going to celebrate my brother today enjoy him.