Remembering Dad

Grief support: No matter what your age, losing your dad can be difficult. Share your grief and talk with others who are coping with the death of their fathers.

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Permalink Reply by Mary Jo Scalise on November 15, 2009 at 8:46pm

melissa said:

I just lost my dad on 11/11/09 he was only 65 i lost my mom when she was 62 it is very difficult getting that phone call last night just before midnight.and then telling my kids in the morning that your grandfather past away,just remember the good times we all had and that he is in peace now and is with the lord.

I am very sorry for your loss and my prayers are with you and your family. I understand the feeling of loss. I just lost my Mom on August 28th of this year... I think the only thing that will get us thru is that they are at peace and with the Lord. But just know, that now you have a personal guardian angel by your side now.

Permalink Reply by Catzrme9 on November 16, 2009 at 11:11am

Dad we love you and I miss you dearly. It seems our family is falling apart right now but I need to be strong and endure the verbal abuse and try not let it upset me so. I know it will take time for everyone to understand that lashing out or saying cruel things is NOT the way. Please Lord guide my family. Dad, I know this is not the way you would have wanted it and would not tolerate the hurt that Mom and your son and family is saying about us. Please Lord take the wheel.

Permalink Reply by Catzrme9 on November 16, 2009 at 11:25am

Mary Jo Scalise said:

melissa said:
I just lost my dad on 11/11/09 he was only 65 i lost my mom when she was 62 it is very difficult getting that phone call last night just before midnight.and then telling my kids in the morning that your grandfather past away,just remember the good times we all had and that he is in peace now and is with the lord.

I am very sorry for your loss and my prayers are with you and your family. I understand the feeling of loss. I just lost my Mom on August 28th of this year... I think the only thing that will get us thru is that they are at peace and with the Lord. But just know, that now you have a personal guardian angel by your side now.

Permalink Reply by Catzrme9 on November 16, 2009 at 11:30am

Thank you for this website. I too lost my dad last month- he was 65-died of esophageal cancer. My dad LOVED to cook and eat and it seems so cruel the last 7 month of his live he could not eat at all. I know the Lord needed him more than we did but it is sooo hard to put things in perspective when we are feeling alone here on earth. My family seems to be falling apart. I live out of state and Mom and my brother are saying very hurtful words towards my husband and I. I don't understand why the cruelty right now when we should be drawing together and comforting each other. I am sorry for your loss, you never know what feelings will come up when or why. I just pray the Lord grants our family some peace and will try to get thru.

Permalink Reply by Mary Jo Scalise on November 16, 2009 at 5:10pm

Catzrme9 said:

Thank you for this website. I too lost my dad last month- he was 65-died of esophageal cancer. My dad LOVED to cook and eat and it seems so cruel the last 7 month of his live he could not eat at all. I know the Lord needed him more than we did but it is sooo hard to put things in perspective when we are feeling alone here on earth. My family seems to be falling apart. I live out of state and Mom and my brother are saying very hurtful words towards my husband and I. I don't understand why the cruelty right now when we should be drawing together and comforting each other. I am sorry for your loss, you never know what feelings will come up when or why. I just pray the Lord our family some peace and will try to get thru.

I understand when emotions are running high, things are bound to be said whether kind or hurtful. but your family has no business to be cruel to you and your family rite now.. You suffered the same loss they did. They should put everything aside and draw together. I will say prayers for you and your family at ths time of difficulty. Just know, you are not alone. Take care,

Permalink Reply by Chrissy on November 16, 2009 at 8:48pm

I just lost my father last week on November 11th, 2009 after a one year battle with cancer. When my dad passed away, a big part of me died with him. He was my hero and always will be. I miss him so much. I never thought I would be writing my father's obituary or picking out the song to be played at his memorial service at the age of 28. I wasn't ready to say good-bye. The thought of him not being there when I graduate from college, or to walk me down the aisle at my wedding tears me up inside.

November 9th was my birthday. It was the last time I spoke with my father. The last few months he could barely talk. But on my birthday he made sure to have my step-mother call me just so he could tell me he loves me. I told him I would be up there (in Maine where he lived) to visit him the weekend before Thanksgiving and he said he would be there waiting for me. Our last conversation keeps replaying in my mind. It's difficult to wake up in the morning, and difficult to fall asleep at night. All I can think is that I want my dad back. And ask over and over why did this happen. And even though I have my family and friends...I have never felt more alone than I do now.

Does it ever get easier...

Permalink Reply by Catzrme9 on November 20, 2009 at 10:54am

Dear Legacy Family and Mary Jo,
I love the idea of a memorial ornament , that brought tears to my eyes. I too have started counseling and am hopeful this will help. I know the holidays are bearing down and it is going to be heartbreaking- I am crying now just dealing with the thought of this. I am considering journaling, has anyone else done this? I am also thinking of writing a note to my brother and let him know how saddened we are that he no longer wants my husband and I to speak with him or his children. I went to the local library but could not find a book that interested me but did find a few at hospice I may read by Alan Wolfelt, MD. When I think of my mom alone now it breaks my heart but she is a strong woman and I pray she will get through this first year. I love you Dad and know you are in a wonderful place now and can eat, play and work with all your heart's desire! Love and Peace to each of you here.

Permalink Reply by pam on November 27, 2009 at 10:21am

Chrissy said:

I just lost my father last week on November 11th, 2009 after a one year battle with cancer. When my dad passed away, a big part of me died with him. He was my hero and always will be. I miss him so much. I never thought I would be writing my father's obituary or picking out the song to be played at his memorial service at the age of 28. I wasn't ready to say good-bye. The thought of him not being there when I graduate from college, or to walk me down the aisle at my wedding tears me up inside.

November 9th was my birthday. It was the last time I spoke with my father. The last few months he could barely talk. But on my birthday he made sure to have my step-mother call me just so he could tell me he loves me. I told him I would be up there (in Maine where he lived) to visit him the weekend before Thanksgiving and he said he would be there waiting for me. Our last conversation keeps replaying in my mind. It's difficult to wake up in the morning, and difficult to fall asleep at night. All I can think is that I want my dad back. And ask over and over why did this happen. And even though I have my family and friends...I have never felt more alone than I do now.

Does it ever get easier...

Permalink Reply by pam on November 27, 2009 at 10:25am

Chrissy,
I definitely know how you feel I lost my father 2 months ago today. I am like you most definitely lost. You are right it just isn't fair, but the only thing that I can say because my mother has been gone for 19 years. Right now it doesn't seem like it but I think it does get better I just haven't gotten that far with my father yet. Right now the Holidays suck and I can't quite crying. They say everything happens for a reason, we just don't known what that reason is.

Pam

pam said:

Chrissy said:

I just lost my father last week on November 11th, 2009 after a one year battle with cancer. When my dad passed away, a big part of me died with him. He was my hero and always will be. I miss him so much. I never thought I would be writing my father's obituary or picking out the song to be played at his memorial service at the age of 28. I wasn't ready to say good-bye. The thought of him not being there when I graduate from college, or to walk me down the aisle at my wedding tears me up inside.

November 9th was my birthday. It was the last time I spoke with my father. The last few months he could barely talk. But on my birthday he made sure to have my step-mother call me just so he could tell me he loves me. I told him I would be up there (in Maine where he lived) to visit him the weekend before Thanksgiving and he said he would be there waiting for me. Our last conversation keeps replaying in my mind. It's difficult to wake up in the morning, and difficult to fall asleep at night. All I can think is that I want my dad back. And ask over and over why did this happen. And even though I have my family and friends...I have never felt more alone than I do now.

Does it ever get easier...

Permalink Reply by Sherrie on November 29, 2009 at 9:16am

Dear Anna
I also lost my dad to cancer, and one of the fondest of times were spent with him taking care of him until his death. My dad was kind of the matriarch of our family and was always there for everyone who needed him. Our personalities were very similar and sometimes caused a lot of grief as neither one of us would back down from any discussion. He was the last of his siblings of 13 and he always took care of the children of the lost parent whereever they lived. I guess that is why he wanted me to come to him when it was his time. I like you never let a day go by without remembering something that I seem to share with whoever will listen. His final days I chose to ask his forgiveness for all the mean things I had sad or done throughout the years and he said he forgave me. I also told him I forgave him for the things he had done which I never seemed to get over until then. His lack of presence in our lives is felt by many who loved this giant of a man and we all tell tall tales he told us and laugh at his escapades. I lost my mom and dad in the same year and altho it was very hard on us all, losing my dad was more than I ever dreamed it could be. His memory will live on through me and my children and my grandchildren as we keep his memory alive even though he is not with us anymore. My dad is close to me even now as he somehow turns on lights in the room, pats me on my shoulder at bedtime and makes the phone ring with no one there. We all laugh when the light turns on and off and say "that's grandpa." I truly believe that they are still with us even now and the greatest blessing we will have is that someday we will all be together again. Some think that this might be silly of me but on his birthday I buy a helium balloon, take it down to the lake, say prayers and talk to him, mostly cry a lot and let lose of the balloon on its way to heaven, somehow it makes me feel closer to him. God bless the ones who left us and more importantly God bless the ones left behind.

Permalink Reply by melissa Jackson altmyer on December 8, 2009 at 10:58pm

My dad was the best father a daughter could have. Although he went through a nasty divorce with my mother when I was three, he contined to support me and be a huge part of my life. My father, Steve, was a kind and sincere person. He greatly loved nature and enjoyed the outdoors. He had a passion for downhill skiing, and won many competitions throughout his short life. He was past president of the Connecticut Lions Club, and was a teacher for special needs kids. Sadly, my father left this world last Christmas eve 2008. New London Ct police found him on Ocean Park beach in the sand. Police could not really determine a cause of death after autopsy, which leaves us with a mystery. It's hard to find comfort when you don't know what happened to your parent. He passed away before coming out to visit his newly born granddaughter (my daughter). It's been really tough. I know he is in a beautiful place now but I am still plagued with grief. I try to find delight in my daughter daily and she reminds me of him in many ways. I know dad had touched many lives in this world and he will continue to do so in the next. I love him very much, and I am glad to know I am not alone. I appreciate those of you who have shared your wonderful stories of your loved ones. Remember we will always have the beautiful memories until we meet them again. Dad, may you find the most glorious mountain in heaven to ski on! I will see you again! love you:)

Melissa Altmyer

Permalink Reply by Catzrme9 on December 9, 2009 at 1:10pm

I Love you Dad and miss you so. This Christmas will be difficult without you but I will concentrate on your spirit and know this will lift us all up when we are at our lowest points. We will talk and remember you with our whole hearts and minds and will comfort each other in this time of despair. Please bring us each Peace, Love, and Joy.