Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Priceless on December 19, 2009 at 4:10pm

Henry I am so sorry for your losses. That is a lot of sorrow. Know that God is with you as you walk about your day. Remember all the happy funny memories/times that your aunt, mother and uncle brought to your life. You are in my prayers.

Permalink Reply by Jennifer Crockett-Alvarado on January 1, 2010 at 12:55pm

I'm not sure this adds any encouragement, but it helps to share these stories...I too have been dealt a lot of sorrrow, both my parents were living independently, when in Oct my father fell and died of complicatons in the hosp.,then, this past weekend, my mother who has suffered for many years from MS and mental instability, over-medicated herself Christmas night* and suffered cardiac arrest dying two days later. We were to move her to assisted living this very week! I am in real hard place myself, I am trying to understand all of this.
-I am sorry for your losses and hope that you soon find peace through this journey of grief- -Jenn

*My mother had managed to call EMS, but refused to go to hosp, they say she may have sufffered a stroke , I am having real anger issues from this -why didn't she just go the hosp, I also feel lost

Permalink Reply by Vivian Denise Brown-Toussaint on February 19, 2010 at 2:00am

Hi Henry. I can certainly relate to 2009 being a terrible year. On July 3, 2009, my husband's sister died of kidney problems. On July 11, only 8 days later, my husband of almost 20 years passed away suddenly of heart problems. Less than 3 days later, my mother passed away. I was numb for months. I had forced my emotions to shut down. It was months before I began to feel.

I don't have any words of wisdom, but just know you are not alone and everyone says we'll get through this.

Permalink Reply by Debbie on February 19, 2010 at 11:17am

Henry,
I wish I had the magic words to make you feel better. I'm 54 and have lost all of my grandparents, numerous aunts and uncles and my parents (Mom died recently). I've come to realize the price of loving someone is the eventual pain of losing him or her. As my sister says, it sucks, and there's no way around it or short cut through it. No matter how many loving and supportive people you have around you, this is a journey we each have to travel alone. Each of us love and will grief differently. There is no right or wrong way. You need to take care of you.
God Bless,
Debbie

Permalink Reply by Yvonne Hess on February 19, 2010 at 2:08pm

Jennifer Crockett-Alvarado said:

I'm not sure this adds any encouragement, but it helps to share these stories...I too have been dealt a lot of sorrrow, both my parents were living independently, when in Oct my father fell and died of complicatons in the hosp.,then, this past weekend, my mother who has suffered for many years from MS and mental instability, over-medicated herself Christmas night* and suffered cardiac arrest dying two days later. We were to move her to assisted living this very week! I am in real hard place myself, I am trying to understand all of this.
-I am sorry for your losses and hope that you soon find peace through this journey of grief- -Jenn

*My mother had managed to call EMS, but refused to go to hosp, they say she may have sufffered a stroke , I am having real anger issues from this -why didn't she just go the hosp, I also feel lost

Jenn,
It sounds to me like your Mom wanted to go be with your Dad. I'm so sorry for your loss's. I know this is painful, and being angry is part of the process. It's hard to understand what's going on in people's minds when they are ill and in pain. I have suffered so much pain that at times I just want to go be with Jesus. God bless and hold you in His arms as you heal from this.

Permalink Reply by Yvonne Hess on February 19, 2010 at 2:12pm

Henry,

I'm so sorry for the loss of your loved ones. Deaths usually run in three's in our family and I believe most. If you'll notice it's the same with people in the music industry and acting. You see one die and then two more. I don't know why maybe that's God's number or something. I'm praying for comfort for you because this is something you will never understand. But know your Mom is no longer in pain or fear of cancer and she's with Jesus in a much better place. Right now that won't give you much comfort but it will later.

Permalink Reply by JunePeony on February 19, 2010 at 4:38pm

Henry,

My heart goes out to you. I am having enough trouble dealing with one monumental loss in my life, the loss of my beloved mother. I am so very, very sorry for the pain and shock you are going through.

My thoughts are with you. Please know you are not alone.

Lisa
junepeony@gmail.com

Permalink Reply by f615k on February 20, 2010 at 8:55pm

Hey
Fred here. I was grief counseling my cousin tonight by phone..my aunt passed last August.

THE most important thing we must understand is that our relatives wishes...more than anything else...is to live well for our days here. This is not to downplay your hurt-it will be there-not forever-but it will for a while... To honor them, and do what they would want for us (you) is to be happy, and enjoy life to its fullest
and to not be sad(I know-easier said than done)...but to honor them...you must try as hard as it is to go on and be your best, your most...to give love to those still here that need you, and to enjoy life. It does them honor Henry, it really does.

Stay busy, help others..set goals and strive to reach them so that you get back on your path as they would have you do-and want you TO do. Trust me here.
You have work left here, helping yourself so that you may help others. It was my charge when my mom died 5 years ago..and today..at her graveside...I know she looked down and smiled...because I DID JUST what I suggested you do !

This pain and emptiness will pass, but you can speed the healing by doing for yourself... and then for others..and then you know you do them PROUD !