Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by A R on January 1, 2009 at 5:21am

Personally i think Dreams do mean something, I always dream about my loved ones who pass. They have there own settings and they leave me with emotions of happiness or sorrow..I sometimes wake up and wonder if they were really ready to pass on. My dreams consist of my grandma and aunt. The dreams i have of my grandma feel peacefull, and i know shes happy up there no longer suffering...But almost 7 years ago my family lost my aunt who was loved by everyone who met her. The dreams that consist of her arent what you would call peacefull, i always hear the sounds of hospital machines, and crying..I wake up and wonder if she was ready to go 7 years back? You see her death was unexpected..and i think of that as a reason why i keep having dreams. But the awkward part is that those dreams are the same ones every week or every night. Im in the dream and shes right there in the hospital room, everyones crying, my grandparents make the decision to let her go..i take one last look at her and i see a tear fall out of her eye while shes looking directly at me, she even looks at me while she passes with that tear..after she passes it goes silent, everything fades away, i wake up..I dont know if these dreams are haunting; trying to tell me something or if there just nightmares to keep me remembering of what happened that day...

Permalink Reply by Gina on January 8, 2009 at 1:20am

My Father passed away, it will be four years this July. For the first year I had these horrible dreams, where he was "hurting" me physically in them. My Father never laid a hand on me when he was alive. And I still cannot figure out the meaning behind them. I would wake up sobbing, soak and wet from sweat, and feeling as though I couldn't breathe. Until one night about a week before his two year Anniversary. I had this unbelievable dream.

This was the dream:
I was asleep, and awoke to what I thought was his cigarette smoke. I went down the stairs, and saw his ashtray on the dining room table, next to his coffee, and his paper. I went into the Kitchen and he was standing near the counter. Wearing the outfit that we buried him in, I said "What are you doing here?" and started crying, he said "I only have a few minutes, I wanted to tell you that I love you, that I'm so proud of you, that you've turned into the most amazing person I have ever met." I started sobbing even more he wrapped his arms around me and kept repeating to me how much he loved me." I heard my Mom calling me and stepped back away from him, and said "Wait Mom! Mom needs to see you." He said "No, not now, she's not ready to see me!" I said "Please, don't go, stay a little longer!" He wrapped his arms around me one more time and held me so tight, I stepped back away from him and said "NO! Stay there, I'm going to get Mom." And when I turned around he said "I Love You" one more time, I blinked and he was gone....then I woke up.


That was two years ago...and I have not dreamed of him since....

Permalink Reply by Elaine Banks Phillips on January 9, 2009 at 1:48am

Hi Gina,my name is Elaine and at least you got a chance to dream about your Dad. It will be three years for me in April and not one dream of him. My daughter dreams of Kris all the time. She even dream that Kris was explaining that no one ran him off the road. I walked in the room while she was talking and he ask,who is that and she told him your mother. He told her not to tell me who she was speaking with because he was not ready to talk or see me now. She said she told him she miss you so much Kris,she is still crying. He told her she will be all right,just let her cry it out. Please see after my sons. But I am still waiting to see him in my dreams. The last time I seen Kris wass during his funeral. Thank God that Kris funeral was video. I would not have remembered anything. So Gina at least it was a good dream letting you know how much he loved you. So don't worry about the other dream and treasure the last one. I will pray with you and continue to let us know on this site how you are feeling. We are here for you and each other.

Permalink Reply by Kelly Davis on January 23, 2009 at 9:09pm

Hi, my name is Kelly. I lost my brother on April 15, 2006 and my dad September 8, 2007 about a year and a half apart from each other. My first dream was of my dad 3 years before he passed away. In the dream, my mom, brother and dad and myself were all standing around and my dad said in the dream, the Lord said you will not die until the moon is darkened. He was happy in the dream and excited( during this time he was ill for a duration of 3 years before he passed). Anyway, after that dream my brother was killed in April 2006. The first dream i had about him was I was standing across a road I had been balancing a bucket between my knees. I looked up and saw him coming up over the hill by his house and many small children were tugging on his tshirt as he walked up the hill. He was in a brilliant white t- shirt and shorts. It was so real I dropped the bucket and ran and hugged and kissed him so real and life like, I then awoke and tears poured and poured because I realized it was a dream. He was not there. The night my dad died I received the call and it was at night. We rushed 4 hours to where my family lived and the night was pitch black. I am a Christian and I cried so hard and was actually mad at the Lord saying "you didnt keep your promise" because I thought he would live until Jesus returned. Well my husband was driving us back to East Texas and I was doubting the Lord. My husband said look there is no moon it was a new moon - the moon was darkened. God did keep his promise. I believe I was warned about my dads death. I have had more dreams since and will share more. It never gets easier , it seems to get harder. Love to you and everyone who has lost. The Bible says 'to die is gain to live is Christ.'

Permalink Reply by Melissa on January 25, 2009 at 5:52am

Oh I can't wait to get to the point when I can really dream about Bill. I have had 3 dreams since he died. The first one he was in pictures and I was showing them to people. I was explaining we were here, we were there. The second, I unfortunately redreamed all the events that transpired from the time he got up to go to the bathroom to the time I left the hospital the night he died. The last was short but the best. It was simple but it was Bill. He was in front of me, smiled, said 'Hi baby', I looked at him, said 'hi baby', and he leaned over and gave me a kiss. That's when I woke up (which makes me mad I woke up so quick). I know the dreams will get more detailed and longer as time goes on. For that, I can't wait. To see him and hear him again, I can't wait because I miss him so much.

Permalink Reply by John Taylor on January 25, 2009 at 12:18pm

My uncle Dave passed away two summers ago of a heart attack, working to hard in his front yard. Two weeks after his funeral I was dreaming that I lived in my childhood home with the windows wide open, it was early summer. Dave walked up on the front porch, I could only see from his knees down. He yelled through the window, "Hey, John its me Dave". Of course I knew it was him because I recognized his voice. I yelled, "come on in." He just said, I can't, don't have that much time, just tell Rene (my aunt) I'm ok!" and he was gone. It was very clear that he wanted me to relay a message to my aunt. I just wonder why he couldn't just visit her in her dreams.

My son, Brandon died in May 2008. I have yet had a dream of him or about him.

I know one day I will get to see them both, but I'm really concerned that I can't dream about my son.

Permalink Reply by Kelly Davis on January 25, 2009 at 1:49pm

John,

I will be praying that you will receive your dream of your son. There is some comfort in having a dream - it is somewhat helpful. Ask the Lord to show you. I have not had any about my loved ones in a long time. We just need that reasurrence and peace. I was looking at his picture thinking how hard it must be for you to lose your child. You will see him again, trust the Lord for your dream and he will give it to you.

Permalink Reply by Melissa on January 25, 2009 at 5:42pm

John, I am sorry for your loss. I believe that our loved ones don't come to us in our dreams like your uncle did until they know we are OK. They know how distraught we are. When I was 10 my 16 year old cousin was killed. My aunt, his mom, didn't dream about him for months after his death. It wasn't until she was doing better and living her life again (she became so depressed she didn't leave her house for 6 months after his death) that she dreamt about him. He will come to you. You will have that wonderful dream where you will receive that comfort when he tells you he is ok. I know it's hard but he will let you know he's happy and at peace. I believe that because Bill will do the same for me one day...

Permalink Reply by nancy raimer on January 28, 2009 at 12:29am

I have had dreams with my brother Bailey Rogers, whose obituary appeared in the Berkshire Eagle on Oct 28. In the dreams I don't realize he is dead. My dad died in '56 and I have always wanted to see him in my dreams but only saw him biefly 26 yrs ago. I was crying so hard that my husband woke me up. My dreams with Bailey are not at allupsetting althoug nI am very upset at his passing. I had one lovely woman answer my input of how badly I'm greiving and yet I can't seem to work this wesite to get the support i need and would like to help others with. I feel so lost. Will someone help me? I've tried everything to contac anyone, especially Stephanie but I'm at a loss. I know everyone on this site is suffering, I just feel invisible. Please help me, I'm beginning to feel as if God doesn't feel I deserve any consoling. My family is far away and they all have each othe rand I feel forgotten. I'm not looking for pity, just someone to relate to. PLEASE

Permalink Reply by Stephanie on January 28, 2009 at 5:23pm

Nancy, I am so glad to see a post from you. I have really been wondering how you are. I know the computer is really frustrating and very hard to operate. Believe me I have only recently learned how to navigate. I am still here and still a friend and I truly understand what you are feeling. I loved my sister so much and even though I talk to my family I get frustrated because I feel they want to forget. That may or may not be true I know people grieve differently but I have this intense desire to keep her memory alive. My mother even accused me of shoving her memorial site down their throats which really hurt me. So today I confronted her and told her that no one had to look at it and I would not e-mail them with updates anymore. After a long heart to heart she apologized so hopefully it will create a new chapter in our lives. I was my sisters caregiver for years so I guess that is why I feel so protective of her memory. I remember you shared some of these same feelings about your family and I hope you can reach a point where you can work through feeling shutout and invisible with your grief. I know you don't need pity just a shoulder and you can write me everyday if you want and lets start sharing stories of our siblings. I know others will join in because grief is what we share or we wouldn't be here. I am sending my e-mail address stefwm57@hotmail.com and also on Abby's website on the left side it says contact host and you can click there to reach me. Stephanie
http://memorialwebsites.legacy.com/abby-hoda/homepage.aspx

Permalink Reply by John Taylor on March 1, 2009 at 11:03am

Nancy, my sincerely condolences concerning your lose of your brother. My church offers classes which help immensely with grief. I've thought about attending with my two daughters (27 and 17) but haven't taken the time. I'm sure it will help us all deal with our respective feelings. Take care. JBT

Permalink Reply by Karen on January 28, 2009 at 8:57am

Nancy, I'm so sorry! It's tough enough losing your brother, but if nobody's there for your when you need to talk about it, that's extra tough. Everybody grieves differently; it seems like your family is dealing with it in a way that doesn't work for you. The loss was so recent, it's possible they just aren't ready to talk about it yet.

Are there any local grief support groups or hospice organizations near you? Being able to meet with people who are suffering just like you are can be a big help. You DO deserve support and consoling! You've had a terrible loss, it's natural to need help dealing with it all.

Please know that we're here for you. Again, I'm so sorry for the loss of your brother, as well as your dad. I read your brother's obituary, and he sounds like a really neat guy! I have a brother too, and I can't imagine what you're going through.

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