I was 17 years old when I lost my father. He had just turned 40 and was playing basketball with our church's men league. I was not at the game, I was at home asleep, but my mother and brother (13 at the time) was. Apparently he collapsed and by the time I arrived at the hospital he had already passed away. They say it was a problem with his sarcoidosis and his heart (which no one,not even him , knew about). It kills me everyday to think that my dad, healthy and young could just die suddenly and to not even see his kids one last time. This has traumatized me greatly and I am angry at the world that he had to go. It makes no sense how a healthy person can just die like that in the middle of doing what they love.
Its almost been 3 years now and I have so many unanswered questions. I always wonder if it was painful, fast, slow, and did he even have a chance.
I feel like an outcast and I get jealous/upset when people get to still have their dad ...
i feel like i just been rambling but I really hope this group helps me because I need something