I can't take it anymore.

My dad passed away January 3, 2010. It was totally unexpected. We all had been together on New Year's Eve singing and joking around....he never complained about anything. On Sunday, January 3, 2010 he woke up complaining of being nauseated. He went in the restroom and never came out. My mother found him on the floor 5 minutes later. I'm still in shock and haven't been able to sleep ever since he died. I live with my parents and today is the first day of work after my dad's death. I know it's going to be so hard for me and my kids when we go back to the house this afternoon and not find my dad at the house. Every little space in the house has memories...it's very hard.

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Permalink Reply by monica on January 15, 2010 at 9:43am

i lost my father on Nov.15th 2009, the holidays were so hard for me..dad was the center of our world, he lived for his grandkids..and for being the love of my mothers life. going back to work was the hardest thing for me.im taking it one day at a time..its sounds like you were extremly close to your father, and hold on to your memeories, i know that talking to people here makes it easier. but my dad is still not here..and thats what i miss the most, going into his house every morning and watching him sit in his recliner with his cup of coffee, or making mothers lunch for work, those things i misss dearly. just take it a day at a time. and may god bless you and your family.

Permalink Reply by Sara on January 16, 2010 at 12:02am

Monica-
I am so sorry for you're loss. I just wanted to let you know that i understand 100% how you feel. I lost my father on January 2nd, we always spent New Years together and had a wonderful night out! He had heart issues in the past and recently under went heart surgery then on Sat. Jan 2 he was down at the Mall of American and was having trouble breathing and collapsed. He was rushed to the hospital and i met there right when the ambulance did, we were there for a half hour and his heart had stopped, they did CPR for 40 mins and could not revive him. He was my best friend, i spent every minute with him... my life changed dramatically in seconds. I still dont know how to live without him... I dont know how old you are, but im only 22. All i think about is how much i have to look forward to in life, and how much growing i still have and that he wont be there for any of that. My brothers and i just started to clean out his house and it was the most unreal, saddest thing i have ever had to do.
I found this connection on his obituary page and wanted to reach out and see if anyone else was in my shoes, i stumbled across your story and realized i wasnt alone. I hope we can soon find comfort and peace in our loss. Until then, cherish every memory and cling tight to those you love and stay strong!

Permalink Reply by Diane Vroenen on January 16, 2010 at 9:26am

Hi Monica,

I understand exactly how your feeling as my Dad also passed suddenly on Jan. 9th. I live in Tx and he lived in Ak so I'm feeling very helpless right now. My Dad died in his home and had questionable roommates. I'm being told by the police, medical examiner and neighbors that it might have been foul play. How do you cope with this. I too am looking at his pictures and crying. I can't seem to accompolish anything anymore. Please keep your head up and know that our Dad's are happy and healthy again. If I can be of any comfort please feel free to contact me. Try not to cry too much.

Permalink Reply by Kim Lane on January 18, 2010 at 5:38am

Monica I'm truly sorry to hear about your dad and my heart goes out to you and your family in trying to pick up the pieces and go on. Though it does not take away the pain, at times like this it does help to refelct on the promises recorded in the Bible. If you have a Bible you can turn to Isaiah 25:8 to read this. But in case you don't have a Bible, it says "He will actually swallow up death forever, and the Sovereign Lord Jehovah will certainly wipe the tears from all faces. And the reproach of his people he will take away from all the earth, for Jehovah himself has spoken it." Death was never part of God's purpose for us, he meant for us to live on this earth forever in peace and happiness. (Isaiah 45:18)Think about it, if Adam and Eve had not sinned, this earth would have been an entirely different place with people living forever. But they did sin which brought imperfection and eventually death to the human race. But our loving Creator did not change his purpose for the earth or for human beings. You may be familiar with the Lord's Prayer where Jesus prayed "Our Father in the heavens, let your name be sanctified. Let your Kingdom come. Let your will take place, as in heaven, also upon earth." It is by means of his Kingdom that he will bring an end to death and sorrow. To show what God's Kingdom would do for us, when Jesus was on earth he cured the sick and even brought back to life some who had died. Jesus' friend Lazarus had died and his family was mourning his loss- even Jesus cried. But Jesus said that Lazarus was "sleeping". He likened death to a sleep-like state. He brought Lazarus back to life right here on earth. Jesus said at John 5:28 that the time would come when all those in their memorial tombs or graves would hear his voice and come out. What a wonderful hope that is! One final thought taken from Revelation 21:4, "And he (God) will wipe out every tear from their eyes, and death will be no more, neither will mourning nor outcry nor pain be anymore. The former things have passed away." I look forward to this time right here on earth and we know from whats happening in the world, its not far off. I will keep you, your children, and your mom in my thoughts and prayers and I hope the scriptures that I have shared have been encouraging. Kim

Permalink Reply by michelle serina on January 18, 2010 at 9:17pm

I am going through the same thing. My mom passed away on the same day. I saw her that saturday and she was laughing and joking with me and then sunday morning the phone rang and my dad said mom passed away. I havent been able to move on with my life. I dont know how too. She was always there for me and now I feel so lost. I cant eat or sleep. I went back to work recently and all I do is cry. It's so hard not to have her in my life. My husband and son try to help but they really cant. I need help moving on and I dont know how.

Permalink Reply by Terry H. on January 18, 2010 at 10:34pm

I am so sorry for your loss - my father passed in 2008 - Sometimes I can't believe it - What I can pass on - Is remember everything good and your relationship with him - Even though its painful - I have learned we must acknowledge it ..as you are - The power of love - will make it abit eaiser _ I do feel your pain and sadness

Permalink Reply by yolanda on January 26, 2010 at 12:15am

My dad passed away 1/15/2010. It was also totally unexpected. He won his battle with cancer. We were all together for the holidays having fun talking about when my brother and I were kids. Can not believe he is gone. My father died in the kitchen, unable to go into the kitchen without thinking about him dying on the floor. Keep asking myself did he suffer before he died? When I saw him at the furneal home he had a smile on his face, which gave me a little peace....Understand your sense of lost and sadness. Yes, every space does have memories......Enjoy what we have and extremly happy for these memories.