Thank you very much for your support. I'm just not doing will at this time. I know you all understand that. I feel so helpless and hopeless and miss my son so much. And I still keep asking why. We were very close to our son. We thought he was doing ok. But I think he made it look that way. He had a blood disorder. And didn't feel well alot of the time and was on pain medication. He left behind 4 kids. Now their daddy is gone its not fair to them. My husband and myself are so depressed and just can't understand why. We were here for him and he knew that. He lose his little girl that was 5 months 4 days old. She passed away from Sids. And he told his dad you just don't know the pain of losing a child. But now we do. Thank you again

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Aloha! My name is Ka'ai. I live on the island of Oahu. I was reading this comment and it truly touched my heart! No one could ever understand the emotional turmoil that you and your family are experiencing! At first I felt lost for words, but I was reading an article that I thought would be okay to share with you. It says, "When someone commits suicide, family members and friends suffer severe mental turmoil. Many blame themselves for the tragedy. They say such things as,"If only I had spent a little more time with him that day,"If only I had done a little more to help him." The implication is, "If only I had done this or that, my loved one would still be here." Is it fair, though, to assume the blame for the suicide of another? Remember it is only too easy to recognize signs of suicidal feelings after the fact. In the present it is a different matter. The Bible says at Proverbs 14;10-" The heart ALONE knows its bitterness, and no outsider can share in its joy." Sometimes, it is simply impossible to discern what another person is thinking or feeling. Many suicidal people just can't adequately communicate their innermost feelings to others, even to close family members. The Bible again tells at Ecclesiastes 9;5 that the dead are conscious of nothing at all. So your son is not suffering anymore. He is simply sleeping with no more worries. But, you are suffering with the living and there are no words that I or anyone else can say that can take those feelings away. In time maybe. All we can do is keep you in our thoughts and prayers. And share with you the hope that is found only in the Bible. The prospect of a resurrection to life here on earth. Jesus will call out those in their graves, someday. When, we don't know. But you have a chance of welcoming him back! I am one of Jehovah's Witnesses. Although you might have your own beliefs, we all long for a better world and system of things without the fear of losing our lives or of those whom we love so dearly. I personally havent lost a child but I have lost many whom I was very close to and share in the hope of seeing them come back one day to life. I do hope that someday you will find comfort. Please feel free to write back to me. My e-mail is ke_n_kaai@yahoo.com. Much aloha and sympathy to you and your family!!

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