Barb,We are never prepared for something like this, our best friend, husband passing away and leaving us to grieve. Unfortunately this heartbreak does not go away for a very long time. I re-live the day my husband suddenly died of a heart attack. It happened right by our house as he drove away. I still look down the driveway as I did when he left and I wish so bad that he will drive back in. I know he's gone, but part of me left that day also. I have to define a new identity now because the old me is gone. Yes, we cry and cry and that's good. I don't know who's pain we are feeling but I'm guessing its ours because our loved ones are in heaven wishing we would be happy again, but i don't see myself that happy again. I don't think its ever easy, prepared or not,but I can see that we all need each other and we will help each other. I am so glad I found this site because now I know I'm not going crazy, I'm not alone, I have all of you.
Dear Hurting, I did not say 'goodbye' to my husband because even though I knew he was terribly ill, I did not believe that he was going to die. He had been through heart attacks after the doctors said he would never survive another heart attack, but he did. He had been through a heart transplant, a severe case of pneumonia where he was in ICU with a temperature of 105, but he came through. Neither I nor his cardiologist believed that he was not going to make it through this. Therefore, when the time came, I was totally not prepared. I didn't say goodbye because I didn't believe that it was goodbye. I don't know how I can forgive myself for making this mistake. I love him so very much and yet I am so angry with him for leaving me alone. Maybe I am foolish but at this point, I just can't help it. I go to the cemetary every day and I talk to him and before I leave I am crying and angry with him because he is there and I am not.
No... I think that we are never prepared, if they are sick or in my case I just talked to my husband 1 hour before he died and he was at work about to get off for the day when I got a call telling me he passed out and he was trying to be revived...no I can't get pass the no good bye's.