Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Patti Baker on June 3, 2010 at 10:47pm

Mary think happy thoughts, You have so many memories...that is what keeps me going... I have 55 years of memories...

Permalink Reply by Patti Baker on June 3, 2010 at 10:49pm

Mary think happy thoughts -- you have many memories, that is what keeps me going, I have 55 years of memories....

Permalink Reply by Connie on June 3, 2010 at 10:58pm

I can relate to your despair but you need to go on whether you want to or not. I wait for the day that I can be reunited with my husband. In the meantime, I have to make the best of a bad situation and believe me, it is not easy. I cry and cry and get angry with him for leaving me alone. He is on my mind constantly. We were married 46 years. Everything I see or touch or do or go reminds me of him and how badly I miss him. I need to put up a strong front because I do not want my children to know just how I feel and I don't need them to worry about me more than what they already do. It was like I lost a husband and got 3 mothers. I too feel like there is no reason for living but until the Good Lord is ready to take me, I have to go on whether I am happy about it or not. Mary, I don't know whether your have children or not or even how long your husband has been gone but although it isn't easy and it feels like someone tore your heart right out of your chest, we need to go on until the day we will be reunited. I, for one, and I am sure that there are many others on this site, wait for that day but it needs to be on God's terms. I will pray for you.

Permalink Reply by Suzanne on June 3, 2010 at 11:51pm

Dear Mary,
First of all however long it takes, I am living now from one day to the next, doing what I need to do while waiting for the day God calls me. I felt prompted to let you know that I can only speak for myself that this has been and still is an emotional roller coaster for me. I have felt deeply depressed, anger, denial, shock, helpless, some days that I thought the tears were over, I felt despair, and crying.... there are the weepy tears that my life is changed and over for me, the sobs when I happened to glance at pictures of Dan inadvertantly, tears that I honestly believe I will never again feel happy when I think of our memories when I happen to look at pictures when Dan was well, hot tears that come from thoughts of him in anguish or even laughing on better days, or in pain, or accepting his fate, and tears when I miss his presence when I need him the most. That's just me, but I've heard from my Hospice grief meetings and here on these support grief sites that there are people here and all over the world who feel exactly the same. Your grief is unique to you but all of our pain is the same and I wanted you to know that for us this is what we are supposed to be feeling because we mourn, so I've been told, so I have to believe it and I'm hoping you come to believe that there is strength to go on where we think there is none. We all and I know you will feel differently each day but when you share your thoughts and pain and emotions and let them out, it provides relief, it is healing, it helped me and my prayer for you is that it helps you as well.
Peace to you and God bless and hugs to you,
Suzanne

Permalink Reply by judy on June 3, 2010 at 11:52pm

Connie said:

I can relate to your despair but you need to go on whether you want to or not. I wait for the day that I can be reunited with my husband. In the meantime, I have to make the best of a bad situation and believe me, it is not easy. I cry and cry and get angry with him for leaving me alone. He is on my mind constantly. We were married 46 years. Everything I see or touch or do or go reminds me of him and how badly I miss him. I need to put up a strong front because I do not want my children to know just how I feel and I don't need them to worry about me more than what they already do. It was like I lost a husband and got 3 mothers. I too feel like there is no reason for living but until the Good Lord is ready to take me, I have to go on whether I am happy about it or not. Mary, I don't know whether your have children or not or even how long your husband has been gone but although it isn't easy and it feels like someone tore your heart right out of your chest, we need to go on until the day we will be reunited. I, for one, and I am sure that there are many others on this site, wait for that day but it needs to be on God's terms. I will pray for you.

Permalink Reply by judy on June 3, 2010 at 11:54pm

I totally agree. Exactly the way I feel.

judy said:

Connie said:

I can relate to your despair but you need to go on whether you want to or not. I wait for the day that I can be reunited with my husband. In the meantime, I have to make the best of a bad situation and believe me, it is not easy. I cry and cry and get angry with him for leaving me alone. He is on my mind constantly. We were married 46 years. Everything I see or touch or do or go reminds me of him and how badly I miss him. I need to put up a strong front because I do not want my children to know just how I feel and I don't need them to worry about me more than what they already do. It was like I lost a husband and got 3 mothers. I too feel like there is no reason for living but until the Good Lord is ready to take me, I have to go on whether I am happy about it or not. Mary, I don't know whether your have children or not or even how long your husband has been gone but although it isn't easy and it feels like someone tore your heart right out of your chest, we need to go on until the day we will be reunited. I, for one, and I am sure that there are many others on this site, wait for that day but it needs to be on God's terms. I will pray for you.

Permalink Reply by Tom on June 4, 2010 at 3:31am

The weather got to me recently also.
Now I have to deal with the heat.
Never a break !
A hurting heart knows nothing about weather, it just still hurts.
One good thing about the sunshine all the flowers I planted for Loni are starting to bloom. I enjoy looking at them, and am a bit sad that Loni is not here to enjoy them with me. I'll keep watering them for Loni !

Permalink Reply by mary on June 4, 2010 at 9:32am

Patti Baker said:

Mary think happy thoughts, You have so many memories...that is what keeps me going... I have 55 years of memories...