I got through the 1st year anniversary of Douglas's death this past Saturday. Was it easy? Well, yes and no. I thought about him and remembered how sick he was. It would have been so selfish of me to even consider him staying here another minute or second knowing how much pain he was in. I also realize that some of us lost a spouse suddenly -- without warning. But death is death and grieving the loss of a loved one is a road all of us must travel in order to get past the loss or even acceptance of that loss. I know what I had and what I lost on July 17, 2009. Douglas was a good man, he lived a good life, and the world is a better place for his having lived. I have made peace with his death, but his loss will always be my loss, a part of my life, a part of myself that was ripped out of me. There will always be an empty corner of my soul. He would want me to go on -- and I will. Graduate school starts next month. I am planning a trip to Argentina in January with my daughter and some other gal pals! I have finally come to realize that life goes on, and I am ready to join the parade again.

I will keep all of you in my thoughts and prayers. Don't give up on yourself or healing. It will happen -- and life will once again have meaning. It will be different, but it will be good again.

Love and peace,

Brigitte

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Replies to This Discussion

Brigitte, May God Bless and Keep you in your voyage through life. I am so happy for you that you have the strength to go on. I hope that one day I will feel that way too. Good Luck to you.
Thank you Brigitte, Your message brought hope and I know I healed once from my son's death and I didn't think that was possible. I know my recovery if it comes will be different because I was so much younger but I am willing to entertain the idea that recovery is possible. Recovery doesn't mean you forget or cease to miss the person you love, it means you can go on with your life. We all heal differently. I think you are a brave and healthy person and we need messages from people in different places on this trip through grief.
Destiny, I believe we each have one, what ever that may be.
I look at a neighbor of mine that's going on 99 years old and deaf, and have to think,
how has she lasted all this time, and why. She is still clear minded and communicates quite well. She can read lips pretty good, and when talking to her she always says something that makes me laugh. She lives alone and is self sufficient. I have retired but do work for her when she needs it for free. She has my phone number and will call me through a relay messenger. Every day she feeds the squirrels, and has a stray cat that she has adopted to take care of.
I have no idea why I'm here anylonger but am looking for the reason. There must be something I am to do yet. I thought about an adventure of some kind, but I through that idea out. I have had all the adventures in life I want. They tend to get me hurt in one way or another. Maybe some kind of relationship is in order for me, but I'm not ready to be with anyone at this time. All I would think of is I don't want to see anyone else die again. A friendship could be O.K. though.
With that said, I'll be looking for what's in store for me, and hope it will be something of value. Tom
TOM,
I TOO WONDER WHY I AM HERE ON THIS EARTH.MY HUSBAND WAS THE ONE THAT LOVED LIFE, AND HE WOULD HAVE DONE SO MUCH BETTER THAN ME IF I WOULD HAVE GONE FIRST. THEIR ARE SO MANY WHYS FOR ME. APPARENTLY THEIR MUST BE SOMETHING THAT I NEED TO LEARN FROM ALL OF THIS. I WISH I COULD SEE THE BIG PICTURE.

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