My darling husband died in our bed three and a half weeks ago. I sleep with a sweater that he wore that week. I don't want to go on. My life is over
My dad died October 8, 2009 He had been driving trucks all his life retired and had heart problems, diabetic but had it under control. His bows bursted and the doctor said it was nothing they could do he had only a day or two to live. Well it was the second day when he passed. Before he died he was complaining that his shoulder was hurting the doctor said he had a heart attack and didn't know it. He had a pace maker and I think that is what killed him. I wonder if it was anything we could have done.
My son died unexpectedly on 7/22/09 and sleep was not a problem until just the last 2-3 weeks - since the autopsy report was finally completed. I always thought that if I had a cause of death, I would find some closure, but it is not working that way. The report said that that he had a coronary artery blocked 60-70%. They did not find a clot and ruled out a heart attack, and I just don't understand how this moderate heart disease caused my precious son to die. The rest of his body was in very good condition. I know that both my mother and husband have had heart attacks, but only after their arterys were blocked 90% or more. I stay up and watch TV hoping that one of the forensic shows on Discovery Health will give me the answer that I so long for. The uncertainty of not knowing why my beloved son was taken from me is worse now. I've been told that I may never have a definitive answer and I don't know how I can live or move forward without having an answer. In some ways, I am envious of those who KNOW why their loved one died whether it was suicide, homocide, motor vehicle accident or terminal illness, but at least you folks have a reason for the death. I am not coping well with the questions and simply cannot sleep more than 3-5 hours per night and that is usually sitting in a chair.
I can't sleep....I sit here all night and play games and surf.Anything to
keep from dreaming.My Daddy passed in 2000 and Mama went to rest in His arms May 1st 2008.I sat with mama as she passed and I felt her last breath pass through me as she died.(I dislike that word!)Then in the first weeks of June,an Aunt and a cousin (one here and other in Alaska) passed away.The following July
another Aunt also went home to Jesus.I can't stop crying and I feel lost and sad all the time.I don't sleep because of sad dreams....and I think an inner fear that
I won't wake up.I stay home so as not to have to deal with things and I know I
worry my siblings but I just can't function.
I am here for anyone that needs to talk and or just needs to cry.I understand tears.God Bless