good morning everyone i just have to vent out today because it is 21 months that george left me. i would like to tell you a little about my husband., George was the kindness man that would do anything for you even though he thought no one appreciated what he did for them. he was a gentle man in all aspects he had a rough live because around the holidays both of his parents passed his mother passed first and then  his dad both of them of cancer Meyloma (spelling) his brother passed of bone cancer his other brother had passed  he has his larynx taken out. so me and the kids new he was always sad   around the holidays but for the kids sake he tried to be happy.i know he is up in heaven celebrating all the holidays with his siblings and parents for the ones he missed with them, every year george would wish everyone he knew a  happy holiday message but he maybe received one or two back. we were always together vacation holidays george passed on 3/1/10 of a massive heart attack you see he would not go to the doctors in fear that they would tell him he has cancer he only went to the doctor to get his pills refilled. i miss george so much that it still hurts bad and i know it will not go away. if it was not for the grandchildren i would not know what to do.i know i dread christmas day and the last of the  holidays but i will try to get thru them again thanks for letting me share my story about the best thing that entered into  my life

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sorry the date of george passing should be 3/1/09 and not 3/1/10 is it was 3/1/10 i would have had him with me for 1 more year.

Kathy, My heart is with you. I was thinking that was only 9 months and probably feels like 21 years. Got it now. No matter when, like yesterday I know the love is crystal clear and George is forever with you. My heart too is bleeding at this time and today is just 9 weeks Doug died. Thank you so much for sharing a bit about your precious gem and soulmate. HUGS. Ellen~
kathy obiedzinski said:
sorry the date of george passing should be 3/1/09 and not 3/1/10 is it was 3/1/10 i would have had him with me for 1 more year.
dear kathy, you and a few others, connie, suzanne, randolph were here when i first started posting here and i thank you all for being their for me. i know that you had a deep love for george and the pain is still bad. i sympathize because i understand. just be glad that you have grandkids to help get you through. it at least gives you something to hold on too. i read you are going to be a grandmother again, congradulations and that at least gives you something to look forward too. the holidays will be hard for all of us. some will suffer worse than others. lets just all try and be their for one another the best that we can because we really need each other.hugs to you. cindy
Hi Kathy,
The pain does not go away for me either and I am also so sorry for your loss and continued hurt that you feel. I reply only to let you know that I feel it too. I believe that bottom line, it is a good thing you have good memories, and I hope you have more memories with your grandchildren as time goes by. There is a part of me that gives thanks to My God that He has given to me a gift I will always treasure in Danny who has made me realize the person that I am because he was a part of my life. Yet there is another part of me that knows the only joy I will feel will be in the next life. I know I have sent mixed messages in the past from my posts but I guess that's how grief works. Every day is different, it can be a challenge for me, it can be a fleeting moment of unbearable sorrow and in the next moment in can be a fleeting moment of drifting off when I fall asleep and while my mind is blank I am thinking he is still here with me. In either case, I have bad days and not so bad days, I have distractions, but I also somehow get through each moment in time with no happiness for the future. But, I believe I am getting used to it. There is not one single day that goes by that I still say out loud or in the back of my mind that "I can't believe he's really gone" and with all the other emotions I feel, it is just a waiting game for the entire world. When will my time come? No one knows. I hold my grandchildren and give them a hug when I'm leaving them and hope they won't remember me so they won't feel the pain that I do. I know many will not agree but I am in a quandry. I watch them and love them with my whole heart and then think I wouldn't wish this pain on my worst enemy, why would I want my own adult children and my own very special grandchildren to feel this way. I have felt more positive in the past, and who knows some of my thoughts may change so I dare not tell anyone else these thoughts except those who I think may understand. I think my heart is being hardened with time. I don't believe I can think my way out of grief. Once again, I am sorry for your pain. I remember you in my daily prayers and everyone here as well. My Christmas spirit left me a long time ago, and this feeling became validated on January 22, 2010. I come to this grief site, not to stay in my living torment, only because I have no other place to go to be relieved of my very depressed state of mind. So, I hope this doesn't affect anyone, I am just stating how I truly feel. We are all entitled to our feelings and opinions.
God bless,
cindy: i am so glad that we were all here for you during your grieving that is what the site is about you were also here for us when we need someone to talk to you take care of yourself and as randolph would say hugs are good


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