Hi Michelle. I'm Terry. I am so sorry for your loss. I know exactly what you mean. I think the biggest problem is people who say these things really don't know how we feel inside and they think they are helping, even though if they were actually in our shoes they would know it doesn't help at all. I lost my husband this year in a horrible work accident. He was 51. I think every day how I'm only living half a life and my future has been taken from me and him. I feel like a robot going thru the motions but not "living". I know he was way too young and had so much more to do but you are really young. I am so sorry. Sounds like you and I are similar--you mentioned a business and I too have been left to run a business that my husband did so well. I find myself still in disbelief so often when I think about what happened and how senseless it was and how we had too many plans for this to be real. So many times I've wished it were opposite because I've been with him since I was 23 and life without him doesn't make sense and I don't know how to live without him. You just keep going on, one day at a time, because it's what you know and you don't know what else to do. I do know I don't want to disappoint him by letting what he worked hard for fall apart, so I feel like I have to keep it going even though I'd rather lay in bed and cry. This site has been wonderful for me even though I don't communicate much. Just reading and knowing so many people have these same heartbreaking feelings and struggles is a comfort. It doesn't change anything but at least you can communicate with people who really know what you are going thru. People say some insensitive things and I really think they don't realize that what they are saying isn't anything you want to hear. I actually had a doctor compare my loneliness to her divorce! I know I probably don't have anything here to say that makes you feel better because nothing will erase the numb empty feeling you have but I hope you continue to reach out and know we are all trying to cope with loss of our spouse and at least we can understand each other's pain. Again I am so sorry. Sending a hug your way, Terry

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Replies to This Discussion

I am so sorry for your loss. That robot example is true. You live your life but you are in a daze. It is hard to feel any other emotion :(

I did not realize the soul deep pain until I lost my husband.

I know what you mean. It's been 10 months and I re live it every day. There's a hollow emptiness that you can't explain. It's just you chose the person that completed you and you knew where your life was going and now it's all different.

You are so right.

I dread waking up because the roller coaster starts all over again.

I wish we were all guaranteed a full good life with our soul mates :((

The sad part is watching everyone else live their life normally and seeing all of the happy couples. It is rough on my heart and soul. I imagine it is like that for all of us.


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