I don't know where to start or if this is the right place to share. The funeral home phoned a bit ago with news that Doug's "Remains" are now ready to be picked up. I never cried so hard at the thought of DOUG COMING HOME. No one would understand, it is so Obscurely different. I am like what do I do to prepare. Can't cook a meal for him...duh? I fade into reality and out into that fog again. What is worse is my car is not working and a neighbor took it to work to see if it is minor or not. I am lost. I feel like when I call friends they think I should be together and over ALL the grief..sadness. sometimes it is managable for a bit. Tried to get to face to face grief group for additional support and the first week no one showed and the second week the car didn't make it. So I am forever grateful to be here. Doug has a bird, cockatiel that is/was VERY attached to him so in prep for his homecoming, I did an extra special cleaning of her cage and told her Dad would soon be back so to speak. She is 12 years old and searches the apt for him but at the same time has been my solace because I am handicapped to a degreed and not able to work. I know it can only get better with time but today I think I have fallen backwards and more lonely again. Thanks for listening. Bless you all.
My husband died 9 months ago. I received the same call from the funeral home that you did. My son had planned to go with me the day I was to pick up my husbands remains. The day I got the call, I then called my son. As it turned out he couldn't go with me. He is a police officer and he had to be in court. I was just sick to my stomach at the thought of having to do this by myself. Not only did I have to go to the funeral home then I had to bring his remains home alone. It turned out not as bad as I feared. In fact, all the way home I was talking to my husband. I can only imagine what other drivers were thinking, about the woman talking away and no one else in the car. And now,the nice case I have is sitting on my desk, I reach out frequently and rub the case as I go by.
I am sorry for the other problems you are having. Does seem like when it rains, it pours. Right now, I am just struggling, trying to imagine how I am going to make it through the holidays. And then when I get through that, I am faced with the one year annivisary of his death in early Feb.
May God grant us the peace and comfort we so desire. Hugs to all!