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Permalink Reply by Florence Claypool on June 7, 2009 at 11:07am

I lost my mom on December 4, 2007 at 4:00 am. My mother had the early stages of alzheimers. She decided for some reason on that morning that she needed to go home. I don't really know, but that is something that she said alot. She was talking about her childhood home on the farm where she was raised. She got herself dressed in the clothes she had on the night before including the jewelry that she wore every day. Opened the front door and left. When my sister awoke at 5:30am that morning she discovered my mother was missing. She imediately started calling all of her 10 siblings to give them the news and to help her with the search for mama. Before she could finish making all the calls, we heard a news report on TV. They were reporting that an elderly black woman was found on a busy road the victim of a hit and run accident and was killed. They described what she was wearing and my heart skipped a beat. They were describing my mother. I knew this because they were the same clothes that she had on the last time I saw her at 7:30 the night before. I had gone to her home to give her nighttime medication and put her to bed. She walked me to the door of her house, told me to be careful, and said I will see you tomorrow. I took her every morning to the adult day care that she had been attending for the last year. She had been hit by 2 cars. The first one hit her, and left her in the street like an animal. The second driver saw something in the street but could not stop in time and also hit her. The second driver stopped even though he had been drinking, called the police; but she was already dead. No one has ever been found or charged with her death. We had no time to say goodbye, no closure. Due to the condition of her body we were not allowed to even see her in death. That was the worst day of my life.

Permalink Reply by sue on June 8, 2009 at 7:47am

Florence no words can describe how this had to have hurt but remember she was no longer in that body and her spirit was freed. I too have 9 siblings and so I know how much she must have been loved. Try to remember the joy and mom will always be with you.
I had to see my husband's dead body lying on an old cold garage floor after he died of a brain anerism but that memory has finally faded and I can remember his blue eyes and smile and that twinkle in his eye. I am so sorry about your mom and what a horrible way to find out about her. suep

Permalink Reply by Florence Claypool on June 8, 2009 at 8:04pm

Thank you very much for your words of comfort. This is actually the first time that I have allowed myself to express what a great loss she was to me. I am the #5 child of 11 children. They always say that I am the peacemaker and the strong one. Everyone comes to me. I have been too busy trying to make sure everyone else is ok to think about myself. Thank you for allowing me to unburden myself.

sue said:

Florence no words can describe how this had to have hurt but remember she was no longer in that body and her spirit was freed. I too have 9 siblings and so I know how much she must have been loved. Try to remember the joy and mom will always be with you.
I had to see my husband's dead body lying on an old cold garage floor after he died of a brain anerism but that memory has finally faded and I can remember his blue eyes and smile and that twinkle in his eye. I am so sorry about your mom and what a horrible way to find out about her. suep

Permalink Reply by sue on June 9, 2009 at 8:16am

Florence, I am the 6th daughter of 10 children. Two boys on the end with a sis between them. It seems when mom passes, the root is weakened and someone has to step in. I thought when mom passed 4/15/07 that the cord of life was broken. We came into the world attached to her by a cord and after all this time it was truly broken but since then I still feel like she is with me and knows when I hurt. After Tom died 5/22/08, I was having a "melt down" while planting some flowers and I needed to talk to my mom and then really lost it when I remembered she wasn't here. I felt like they were laughing at my outburst and felt like they were saying, "we are listening, so talk? Anyway, I like to think they are together and watching over me still. Thanks for sharing your story. It must have been hard. Suep

Permalink Reply by sheila on June 10, 2009 at 10:00am

Yes, I two lost my mother on January 18, 2005 to kidney failure, diabetes, and i want to let you know that it is the hardest person to let go and you want to blame everybody but still have my father to lean on

Permalink Reply by rosezeta on June 24, 2009 at 4:55pm

I loss my mom ten years ago and then four yeasr after that i lost my dad this pain is soooo hard to deal with but you cope with it . life have to go on. but everyday i think about my mother and how she would enjoy her grand kids & her great grands. I miss her smile an her telling me how much she love me i Im the youngest her baby when i look at her pictures and laught at some of the things that happen that day. This is on a good day that I'm having on that bad day i set at work trying to hold back all the tear or when some one walk in my office and is wear the perfum she wore my hold world fall apart .so just to say its really hard to loss someone that is your best friend and know you cant see them or touch them anymore thats the hard part my heart stays full of pain but i know my mother would tell me it will be ok i have to believed it right now I dont.

Permalink Reply by josephine on June 24, 2009 at 5:56pm

I lost my mother this past august and it seems that everyone turned on me because I moved out of new york state. I have 3 brothers and I was the only girl.My mother and I was more like best friends.She was 58 years old, I also lost my father when he was 48, I lost both my grandmothers and my grandfathers. I feel like I cant cope sometimes so I know some of what your going thru.Its so hard to go on everyday without her but I really do try. My brothers feel like I left them but, I really had to get away. They all turned to drugs and alcohol and always seem to have some kinda drama going on. I just wanted some peace and quiet so I moved to the south.I love them and miss them but just cant live around them. They blame me for things that I have no control of and I think its their way of trying to feel better because I was a really good daughter and all they ever did was stress her out and they feel guilty so they blame me.It hurts and its heartbreaking and I feel so lonely sometimes..Time helps a little bit but you never really get over losing your mother and I know this from my experience.Its been 10 months and it feels like just yesterday. The best you can do is try to remember that shes in a better place and cherish every minute you have on this earth because nobody is promised tomorrow and eveyone has to die. Just trust in God and hope theres a better place when your gone and find comfort in knowing that shes ok now, no more hurt or suffering, God got her...

Permalink Reply by Milly on June 26, 2009 at 1:43pm

I lost my mum the day me and my twin brother was born then we were placed in an orphanage where we lived back and fourth to foster homes then one day when we were about 6 or 7 a man came to get us then he takes us to this room where he say's this is your mother and brother there were two boys there did not know at that time she was not our real mum a lot a bad things happened to me and my brother we always felt that we did not belong here with this family but we were kids so what could we do now the day came and we found out that what we felt was true but no one to this day will tell me or my brother anything about her like she was never in this world have been searching for yrs to find out where she is buried and where she is from all we know is her name and how old she was when she died witch no one told me i had to go to ancestry .com to get death cert no more info was on that so search has been cold so to all those who did have the chance to know there mother i envy you the sent me to AMERICA TO LIVE HOW EVER AND LEFT MY TWIN IN ANOTHER COUNTRY

Permalink Reply by Carla on June 29, 2009 at 1:52pm

I am very sorry for your loss. I lost my Mom this year in Feb (2009). I too did all her errands because she did not drive. I use to dread sometimes going out in the bitter of winter and do her grocery shopping and hulling those bags up to her apartment...so I understand when you say you wish she was her for you to do an errand for her again. I think it is human nature to sometimes feel that way. I still cry for my Mom every day; I miss her so badly. However, I would not have her back the way she was. She had open heart surgery and only lived for 6 months afterwards. She never felt well and had no appeite. God is the one who gave me the strength to get through the funeral and clean out her apartment. There is no way I could have done that by myself.

Permalink Reply by Jeanne Lindsey on December 12, 2011 at 12:43pm

I lost my mother and best friend Aug 10 2010.She was very healthy , did everything the way the Drs tell you!! Normal weight ,no drinking ,smoking, or px drugs! But in Jan 2010 we found out she had Liver cancer and she was gone in 6 months! I miss her so much and the Holidays are so hard!! I wish I could have 1 more day with her I miss her do much! 

Carla said:

I am very sorry for your loss. I lost my Mom this year in Feb (2009). I too did all her errands because she did not drive. I use to dread sometimes going out in the bitter of winter and do her grocery shopping and hulling those bags up to her apartment...so I understand when you say you wish she was her for you to do an errand for her again. I think it is human nature to sometimes feel that way. I still cry for my Mom every day; I miss her so badly. However, I would not have her back the way she was. She had open heart surgery and only lived for 6 months afterwards. She never felt well and had no appeite. God is the one who gave me the strength to get through the funeral and clean out her apartment. There is no way I could have done that by myself.

Permalink Reply by kimberley on July 7, 2009 at 9:41pm

Dana said:

I lost my mom November 1st, 2008. She had emphseyma, and her death was expected...but it still has been so very hard. I was her caretaker for as long as I can remember. She never drove..so any Dr appts, or groc store needs or anything.it was always me. And I know I didnt appreciate it as I should have. I have a journal that I wrote in every day after she passed, it did truly help with my grief. We are believers in Jesus Christ and I know where she is now, and that she is happy and whole, and so much better. But oh what I wouldnt give to have to go to the store for her again..or get on the phone and talk about silly mindless things that at the moment I thought I just didnt have time for. I still have her suitcase, with the things she brought over from her last visit, as if she has never left. Her tennis shoes on top of the suitcase, with her clothes neatly packed. I just can not bring myself to throw them out. I know I need to, but its like my last connection to her. I still have a voicemail that she left me while she was still in the hospital. Im heartbroken my mom is gone, but I will see her again and thats my comfort. OH, but do I miss her. I miss talking with her, I miss praying with her, I miss seeing her. I just miss her. thanks for taking the time to read this, and if you still have your mom, call her, go see her, HUG her and tell her you love her!

Permalink Reply by RORY VERTIGAN on July 9, 2009 at 1:09pm

I lost my mom on March 18th this year, I lost my Father, Uncle, Good Friend and my Ex partner all with in 5 months prior to my moms death. She had raised my two nephews for the last 10years, I gave her money and paid a lot of her bills to help her out but never really helped with the boys. My partner of two years and myself are now raising the boys, I feel so lost and dont know what to do, ive never been a parent and promised my mother if any ever happened to her i would take care of the boys and I am. However I have been strong for them but have never had the time to morn for all my losses. My partners father committed suicide about 6 months before my losses started and he is trying to deal with that as well. This all has added a huge strain on our relationship. On top of this I am struggling with the void my mothers passing has left in my heart. Any suggestions.

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