Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Saran on May 6, 2010 at 7:46am

I lost my mummy on 8th November 2009. She was in hospital due to Pneumonia and chest infection. She was admitted into hospital with this on the 23rd October 2009. After 10 days she was better but still was being sick, the doctors said that they couldn't fine the cause of her sickness. She has several x-rays, scans, CT scans but they did not know what was the matter. On thursday 5th of November she has two biopsies and we were told that the results would arriveby Monday and it will hopefully show what the problem is. That Monday never came as she passed away on the Sunday. I believe that she was nelected at the hospital.

My mum had an open biopsie would for three days that was constantly bleeding. Me and my family went to visit her on Saturday evening and was not herself. My mum was always the life and soul of any party and even the other patients on her ward said that she was not her normal, bubbly self.

When i akse dthe nurse why she was like this, they said that she has been quiet all day and didnt want to tke any pain killers. They had reduced my mums fluids on Friday and then on Saturday her kidneys had shrunk due to dehydration. As you can imagine I was so angry. I was so scared when I left the hospital on Saturday evening around 9.30pm. I told by brother that I am so scared my mummy was going to die, he said no she will be fine, I promise.

Then at 2.45am, Sunday morning I get a call from the hospital saying that my mum has had a fit and that she was critical. Me, my dad and m sister went to the hospital and my mum was laying in the bed with a very low pulse and untrackable blood pressure.

They said that they do not know what caused the fit and that they did not know what to treat her with. It was 4 hours byt he time they decided to do another CT scan and by this time my mum had, had a stroke. Then it was decided that she was very critical and the ICU team would take over. They wanted to do an MRI scan and to do this they had to place her on a life support machine. They said she would be in the ICU ward within the next 2 hours.

After three hours or waiting me, my dad and two sisters were taken into a little room where we my dad was told that his wife was dying!! We all were so shocked that no one said a thing. Then moments later I ran out of the room to find my brothers and sister-in-laws. I saw my sis-in-law, ran to her and collapsed on the floor.

Alot went on after this and then about an hour and a half later my dad old the nirse in ICU that they could turn the life support machine off. That was it...the end of my mum and the end of my life too.

I am the baby out of 6 childeren and I was mummy's little princess. The apple of my mum's eye. She always told everyone how badly she had fought for me when i was in her tummy as she had such a bad preganancy. When she was pregnant she was told that only one of will survive, mother or child. My dad signed the paper work and said that he wanted his wife but thank god both of us managed to make it through. because of this my mum always said that I gave her a new life and looked after me so well. I was such a lucky little girl, I was brought up liek a little princess and now look......she's gone.

I just don't kno whow to cope wth everything. I am so strong for my dad because he is a very weal person. He feels like his whole life has ended and because I am being a pillar of support for him my emotions are still running wild inside me.

It is driving em mad....I don't know what to do. I don't know anything without my mum. I am missing her more and more as expected but even more now as I am due to get married in four weeks time. All the thibngs we spoke about....I really can't talk to anyone. I just want her back.

I am sorry if this doesn't make sense, I just needed to let this oout to someone.

My love is with all the people that are in this situation with me and I know the pain that is in our hearts in unbearable. I would say God Bless you all but my belief in Gopd has died with my mum and therefore all I will say is take each day as it comes.

xxx

Permalink Reply by beverly on May 6, 2010 at 8:11am

Saran said:

I lost my mummy on 8th November 2009. She was in hospital due to Pneumonia and chest infection. She was admitted into hospital with this on the 23rd October 2009. After 10 days she was better but still was being sick, the doctors said that they couldn't fine the cause of her sickness. She has several x-rays, scans, CT scans but they did not know what was the matter. On thursday 5th of November she has two biopsies and we were told that the results would arriveby Monday and it will hopefully show what the problem is. That Monday never came as she passed away on the Sunday. I believe that she was nelected at the hospital.

My mum had an open biopsie would for three days that was constantly bleeding. Me and my family went to visit her on Saturday evening and was not herself. My mum was always the life and soul of any party and even the other patients on her ward said that she was not her normal, bubbly self.

When i akse dthe nurse why she was like this, they said that she has been quiet all day and didnt want to tke any pain killers. They had reduced my mums fluids on Friday and then on Saturday her kidneys had shrunk due to dehydration. As you can imagine I was so angry. I was so scared when I left the hospital on Saturday evening around 9.30pm. I told by brother that I am so scared my mummy was going to die, he said no she will be fine, I promise.

Then at 2.45am, Sunday morning I get a call from the hospital saying that my mum has had a fit and that she was critical. Me, my dad and m sister went to the hospital and my mum was laying in the bed with a very low pulse and untrackable blood pressure.

They said that they do not know what caused the fit and that they did not know what to treat her with. It was 4 hours byt he time they decided to do another CT scan and by this time my mum had, had a stroke. Then it was decided that she was very critical and the ICU team would take over. They wanted to do an MRI scan and to do this they had to place her on a life support machine. They said she would be in the ICU ward within the next 2 hours.

After three hours or waiting me, my dad and two sisters were taken into a little room where we my dad was told that his wife was dying!! We all were so shocked that no one said a thing. Then moments later I ran out of the room to find my brothers and sister-in-laws. I saw my sis-in-law, ran to her and collapsed on the floor.

Alot went on after this and then about an hour and a half later my dad old the nirse in ICU that they could turn the life support machine off. That was it...the end of my mum and the end of my life too.

I am the baby out of 6 childeren and I was mummy's little princess. The apple of my mum's eye. She always told everyone how badly she had fought for me when i was in her tummy as she had such a bad preganancy. When she was pregnant she was told that only one of will survive, mother or child. My dad signed the paper work and said that he wanted his wife but thank god both of us managed to make it through. because of this my mum always said that I gave her a new life and looked after me so well. I was such a lucky little girl, I was brought up liek a little princess and now look......she's gone.

I just don't kno whow to cope wth everything. I am so strong for my dad because he is a very weal person. He feels like his whole life has ended and because I am being a pillar of support for him my emotions are still running wild inside me.

It is driving em mad....I don't know what to do. I don't know anything without my mum. I am missing her more and more as expected but even more now as I am due to get married in four weeks time. All the thibngs we spoke about....I really can't talk to anyone. I just want her back.

I am sorry if this doesn't make sense, I just needed to let this oout to someone.

My love is with all the people that are in this situation with me and I know the pain that is in our hearts in unbearable. I would say God Bless you all but my belief in Gopd has died with my mum and therefore all I will say is take each day as it comes.

xxx

Permalink Reply by arlene gaffney on May 6, 2010 at 8:26am

Dear Tracy:

I am so sorry for you.

I lost my Mom on October 6, 2010 from Lymphoma. At the same time my daughter informed me that she is getting divorced. She has 4 children. Last month my younger sister was diagnosed with the same cancer as my Mom.

Personally, I find that you can talk to so many people about your heartache, but the only one that can truly help is God. I know its not easy, but he is the only one that is able to reach into your soul to soothe it. I can understand how you feel because this is the only time in my life that I actually dread another day. Prayer is my only comfort.

I miss my Mom so much and I think of her all the time. I do know that I have to stay strong for my sister and my grandchildren. It seems that no matter what, God will give you a purpose to continue to stay on earth.

I will pray for you each day. If you ever need to talk I would be more than happy to give you my cell number. If I could help you in any way, please let me know. I also have an email address.

Arlene

Permalink Reply by Donna on May 6, 2010 at 10:55am

I know this may be hard, but the best thing instead of looking of what you don't have anymore, look at what you do have. Your mom lives in your heart - always. Honor her by living your life the way she would want you to live. Us mom's always like to think we pass on what we were taught and learned, and our children will be in a better place. No way would I want my kids to be crippled in missing me. You can't help but miss them because of your love, but when you let it take another level, you are choosing to lose control, and she would never want that. My mom is gone now 10 years this September. Whenever I needed her she would be there doing whatever she could. So I do that now in my family. When my father passed 11 years ago, he made my sisters and brother promise to take care of each other. And we do. Life gets busy, but we manage to carve out 1 Saturday a month to get together for breakfasts to touch base with each other. Celebrate her life with the happy memories and carry them on. Teach your children what a wonderful mother and person she was by example. When you do, you will feel a lot better, because you are remembering, lovinging her, and transcending her legacy to her grandchildren who can only know her through you. She is in Heaven with no more pain. If you are a child of God, this is but a fleeting moment here on Earth. You will be reunited one day again. May God bless.

brownladylove said:

I lost my Mom on 9/26/2008,she died of cancer in the gall badder,small intestine and lung. She never smoked or had a drink. She didn't allow smoking around her. It's hard on me and my brothers and sisters. My older brother and next to the youngest sister. Won't visit the website that I dedicated in her memory. I was very close to my mom, we talked all hours on the day. I mean from 4 in the morning until late at night everyday. My job works me all hours of the day and night. My mom was the one that kept me going. I cry everyday for my mom. My boyfriend don't understand his mom is still here. And my mom isn't I have an empty place in my heart for my mom.I smelled her scarf and broke down and cried. My boyfriend she's in a better place and she wouldn't want me to cry and be depressed like I am. But he don't understand I losted someone very dear to my heart. The one person I could tell anything to, and get the best advice. I still don't understand why she's gone, my heart can't accept the lost and pain. Everyone she's in time it will get easlier. I can't she how that is possible, and now Mother's Day in approaching. Thanksgiving and Christmas was very hard. Me and my sister's messed up both dinners. How do we cope with the lost of our mother without feeling the pain and hurt of knowing that we can't see and talk to her again. The house is so cold and plain that we don't even go by there anymore. She was our mother and father we losted both when we losted her.
http://memorialwebsites.legacy.com/ethelmcdaniel/homepage.aspx

Permalink Reply by beverly on May 6, 2010 at 1:06pm

thank yu so much donna for your kind words, and you are exactly right my mom would want me to live my life, i just hope she is watching over me at all times along with my dad. i just need some kind of sign from her/them to let me know that they are, and with me, they are of course they are and always will be in my heart. i have no regrets with my parents,it's just that i am angry at the drs./hospitol for what they did to my best friend.

Permalink Reply by nancy dormady on May 7, 2010 at 8:09am

it will be 3 weeks this sat my mom passed away i still dont believe she is not here anymore to visit i guess she is in heaven with my dad whom she missed alot

Permalink Reply by Saran on May 7, 2010 at 8:26am

Hi Nancy

I am ever so sorry to hear about your great loss. I really have nothing more to say apart from look after yourself and be strong. Just think about all the great memories that you have and they will help you get by.

My thoughts are with you.

TC

Saran xxx

nancy dormady said:

it will be 3 weeks this sat my mom passed away i still dont believe she is not here anymore to visit i guess she is in heaven with my dad whom she missed alot

Permalink Reply by Claire on May 7, 2010 at 12:08pm

I lost my mom July 11, 2009 completely unexpectedly. I don't really know what happened and I feel as though I should have done something. I live with this guilt each day when I wake up and I think about her and what happened when I go to bed. My mom was sick so I took her to the hospital, the day before. At the hospital all they could find was an UTI. They gave her meds and we went home. My mom has trouble sleeping so it was not unusual for her to fall asleep during the day. Well the meds had made her drowsy so she fell asleep when we got home. To make a long story short, she didn't wake up. The next day I went to her house to check on her and she was already gone. I feel as though when I was there I should have called 911 or something earlier because she wasn't waking up. I just thought she was sleeping because the hospital didn't find anything. Now I have to go on living without her here, she is my best friend. I find myself crying and feeling depressed at certain times, especially now since Mother's Day is around the corner. I know that I am not alone with this as everyone loses their mom at some point but it wasn't supposed to be now or like this.

Permalink Reply by beverly on May 7, 2010 at 12:41pm

claire,
i know how you feel, i am sitting here crying typing this note, the closer mothers day gets the worse it is for me, my mom went in for surgury and never came home, she was in perfect health, the drs. killed mom and the hospitol was total neglect, i am so angry at thesem people for killing my best friend, i have no regrets we were attached at the hip,always together whether it would be shopping,travel going for a ride etc and now she is not with me. i want so badly for her to let me know some how she is by my side at all times. there are so many people in the same boat as t us but, it just does't justify not have out mom's anymore.

Claire said:

I lost my mom July 11, 2009 completely unexpectedly. I don't really know what happened and I feel as though I should have done something. I live with this guilt each day when I wake up and I think about her and what happened when I go to bed. My mom was sick so I took her to the hospital, the day before. At the hospital all they could find was an UTI. They gave her meds and we went home. My mom has trouble sleeping so it was not unusual for her to fall asleep during the day. Well the meds had made her drowsy so she fell asleep when we got home. To make a long story short, she didn't wake up. The next day I went to her house to check on her and she was already gone. I feel as though when I was there I should have called 911 or something earlier because she wasn't waking up. I just thought she was sleeping because the hospital didn't find anything. Now I have to go on living without her here, she is my best friend. I find myself crying and feeling depressed at certain times, especially now since Mother's Day is around the corner. I know that I am not alone with this as everyone loses their mom at some point but it wasn't supposed to be now or like this.

Permalink Reply by charlottemosby82@hotmail.com on May 7, 2010 at 3:01pm

just pray and God will bless you. Remember in the middle of the storms you have in your God is there with you.

Permalink Reply by Claire on May 7, 2010 at 4:28pm

Hello Beverly,

Thank you for understanding my pain. She was my best friend as well. We had so many special things that only the two of us shared. It was like we were in our own club. We always laughed and did everything together. I want to pick up the phone and call her all of the time. I feel so utterly alone sometimes. It's not fair. We had so many plans to do stuff together and now she won't be here for my wedding for whenever I have kids one day. She was so excited for that. I want to believe that she is here with me, I hope that she is but it is hard to believe sometimes because I don't feel anything different. I just want to see and talk to her.
beverly said:

claire,
i know how you feel, i am sitting here crying typing this note, the closer mothers day gets the worse it is for me, my mom went in for surgury and never came home, she was in perfect health, the drs. killed mom and the hospitol was total neglect, i am so angry at thesem people for killing my best friend, i have no regrets we were attached at the hip,always together whether it would be shopping,travel going for a ride etc and now she is not with me. i want so badly for her to let me know some how she is by my side at all times. there are so many people in the same boat as t us but, it just does't justify not have out mom's anymore.

Claire said:

I lost my mom July 11, 2009 completely unexpectedly. I don't really know what happened and I feel as though I should have done something. I live with this guilt each day when I wake up and I think about her and what happened when I go to bed. My mom was sick so I took her to the hospital, the day before. At the hospital all they could find was an UTI. They gave her meds and we went home. My mom has trouble sleeping so it was not unusual for her to fall asleep during the day. Well the meds had made her drowsy so she fell asleep when we got home. To make a long story short, she didn't wake up. The next day I went to her house to check on her and she was already gone. I feel as though when I was there I should have called 911 or something earlier because she wasn't waking up. I just thought she was sleeping because the hospital didn't find anything. Now I have to go on living without her here, she is my best friend. I find myself crying and feeling depressed at certain times, especially now since Mother's Day is around the corner. I know that I am not alone with this as everyone loses their mom at some point but it wasn't supposed to be now or like this.

Permalink Reply by beverly on May 7, 2010 at 6:20pm

Saran said:

Hi Nancy

I am ever so sorry to hear about your great loss. I really have nothing more to say apart from look after yourself and be strong. Just think about all the great memories that you have and they will help you get by.

My thoughts are with you.

TC

Saran xxx

nancy dormady said:

it will be 3 weeks this sat my mom passed away i still dont believe she is not here anymore to visit i guess she is in heaven with my dad whom she missed alot

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