Now what?

I'm 34 and an only child. My father died last spring from heart issues, and my mother took her life 3 weeks later, not due to grief over his loss, but due to final acts of betrayal. I have no grandparents, siblings, cousins, etc. Also no friends, only acquaintances. I am married (no kids), but it is a loveless marriage. He is a good person, and I do not want to hurt him, but I've known since before we got married that I didn't really feel like one with him. I am professionally successful but am increasingly lonely. Also, as the past year has caused me to reflect on the important things in life, I find that all I want is a happy marriage and children. I am torn between being a chicken (and not wanting the possibility of grief causing a permanent mistake) and taking a step to actualize my dreams in life. Yes, yes, we've been to years of counseling prior to my losses, with a couple very different therapists, but nothing ever changes. I never thought I would ever consider the big D without severe misconduct, but how can I choose to limit my happiness for the rest of my life?

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Permalink Reply by S.A. Brobin on October 6, 2012 at 1:54pm

Betty, I am so sorry you have lost your parents and are feeling alone," May YOU have undeserved kindness and peace from God our Father and [the] Lord Jesus Christ. Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of tender mercies and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort those in any sort of tribulation through the comfort with which we ourselves are being comforted by God. " That is a direct quote from the Holy Scriptures 2Corinthians 1 chapter verses 2-4. Your feelings are shared by many who find themselves in similar situations. God, by means ofThe Holy Writings gives us directions on having a happy life. In fact it says at Isaiah chapter 48 verses 17 and 18 “I, am your God, the One teaching you to benefit [yourself], the One causing you to tread in the way in which you should walk. O if only you would actually pay attention to my commandments! Then your peace would become just like a river, and your righteousness like the waves of the sea". It would be my pleasure to assist you in finding solutions on having a happy family life and what happens when someone you love dies. Please write me. Miss Sylvia

Permalink Reply by Deb on December 5, 2012 at 1:31pm

I find it incredibly irritating that a Christian group on this site aims to answer, change, and direct others to their belief system. It is patently unfair to use this site to try to veer others toward your beliefs. Come on, people. Don't you get it that the ADULTS on this site probably already have religious beliefs? Clearly, the person that posted here is considering a major life change.

So here is my response: you deserve to be happy. Life is short. Talk to your husband. He is probably "just settling" with you, too. Make a decision together, not alone. Love your husband, for what he is able to be. Love yourself too, by doing what is right for yourself. Y

Permalink Reply by Alice wonder on January 7, 2013 at 5:24am

I am sure that it had nothing to do with how you lived, people do things that make no sense all the time and we try to reason with them. I think this just service as a way to review your life and make yourself truly happy.

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