I lost my father in 2008, 2 weeks later and my mother was diagnosed w/cancer.  I was her primary caregiver until she passed in my arms 9 mos after my dad passed.  Several months passed and my husband was diagnosed w/stage 4 lung cancer.  I have kept him going now for a year but I/m starting to fall apart.  I had to retire to keep my sanity.   The other day I had to rush him to the hospital where I was treated with no respect, if I did not step in they would have preformed a procedure on him that would have killed him.  I have never felt so defeated and so alone as I feel now.  I lost control of myself in the hospital and found myself in the corner on the floor crying uncontrollably and even though he is now home I cannot stop crying.  I feel I cannot move forward.  I ask God what I did to have such grief all at one time.  After he goes that is it I will be alone.  I have no parents to talk with and no children to lean on.  It will be just me.  I yell at him because he has now stopped eating and I find I am yelling more often just because.  Well, that is my short version of my life!

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