I was wishing the other day that I had someone who cared for me. And then I really got to thinking about it. Because that wasn't what I really meant. I know my children care about me, they love me. My siblings care about me. And I also know you all care about me, as I do about you.
I wasn't thinking about it in the sense of taking care of me if I were ill or as I get older. Although, someday that may be an issue, and I worry about it. But that is down the road.
The more I thought about it. I think the word I was looking for is some one to "watch" over me. I miss having Jim say, what are you doing? How are you feeling? When I leave the house. There is no one who will miss me if I'm late, and worry. No one to ask how my day was. No one to make sure my car is running as it should. Watching out for me, as I did him. Oh, I miss a lot of other things, the hugs, holding hands, completing each others thoughts.etc. I have never lived alone before, there was always someone watching, my parents and then my husbands (in my case, I have been widowed twice), and the children that were still young, the time I lost my first husband.
There certainly is a difference in being alone and being lonely. . The void that is left, when someone dies, like half of you was wriped away. The plans for the future that are no more. As time continues to go by, the magnitude of the loss eases but longing for the little things grows larger. I continue to pray that we all find the peace and comfort we desire. Hugs to you all.
Mary, I honestly understand what you are saying. I have a great family that cares for me and are here for me whenever they can or whenever I need them. It just isn't the same. I need the man that I spent my life with. The man that I wanted to be with forever. You are so right, we knew what each other was thinking and could complete the thought for us. When you spend most of your life with one person, it hurts so terribly when they are taken away from you. It was 11 months yesterday. Our 47th anniversary is on Friday and he will not be here with me. He would send me roses, one for each year that we were married. No roses this year. I miss him so mich and I don't know how I am going to get through this week.