Today is 15 months since Larry passed away suddenly from a heart attack.I have been doing fairly well for the last few weeks and thought (how dumb am I ) that I was getting better and coming to accept losing him. Well, today isn't such a great day. I have sat here at the computer all day and have been crying my eyes out. I don't want to do anything and have wasted the whole day. The pain is as deep today as it was the day he passed. I feel so lost and alone. I am not looking forward to the long winter. I am dreading Christmas, Larry loved Christmas especially decorating the house. He always said, "Honey you are putting way too much work into this", but he was always the first one to go look at what was new for decorations. It would take me 3 days to decorate the house. This year I am only planning on putting up the tree and that is only for the grandkids. My heart isn't in it.
Today I only want to pull the blankets over my head and stay there but I won't allow myself to do it. I have to keep trying even though it hurts so much. I hate my life, so lonely and alone. I can only hope for a better day tomorrow.
Thank you for listening. Take care everyone and may we all find some peace. HUGS