Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Ellen Brant on December 2, 2010 at 5:30pm

Kerry, I hear you loud and clear and FEEL your pain friend. First I want to let you know you are not alone, send you a big HUG and next tell you to try and take a deep breath and just stay in the moment. I too lost my husband just 9 weeks ago and I am a basket case but I will say that staying close to others who share their strength and hope helps me get through the moment at times. My tears and emotions are much like yours...quite unpredictable. YOU have gone through a HUGE loss of your husband and all the other things piling up can only be weighing you down. My nights too are the worst. I am either on the computer, watching the tv with popcorn crying my eyes out or journaling my emotions by hand and crying as well. Again I say, try to stay in the moment. If you feel you need it and are able, perhaps a counselor may be of some assistance. But all that you are feeling is just that feelings that ARE SO PAINFUL. I find that drinking or pills only mask the feelings and they can be worse when they wear off. Instead I chose to do what I mentioned and drink some calming tea at times. The Holidays are making it all more intense for me so know that is most likely contributing to all of the "junk" on your plate. Keep posting and venting. So glad you did no matter where you live. HUGS Ellen~

Permalink Reply by kerry on December 2, 2010 at 5:50pm

Thank you Ellen... I know what your saying and think your so brave not to mask over things....keep that up. I wish could! If I don't I will snap at my kids.....I love them dearly. Hope your also ok, what a grim world that i need the net for comfort x all my love kerry

Permalink Reply by Ellen Brant on December 2, 2010 at 5:56pm

Guess sometimes we have to do what we need to do for healing comfort. It isn't forever. I will say a prayer for you too. I am so glad you are here. Now I know I am not alone too. HUGS. Ellen

kerry said:

Thank you Ellen... I know what your saying and think your so brave not to mask over things....keep that up. I wish could! If I don't I will snap at my kids.....I love them dearly. Hope your also ok, what a grim world that i need the net for comfort x all my love kerry

Permalink Reply by kathy obiedzinski on December 3, 2010 at 7:10am

kerry:first of all i am so sorry for your loss. i was like you going thru the same emotions mental hospital, not being able to sleep at night i was angry with everyone that i could think of people that still had their spouses and looking so happy when i lost my other part of my life after 34 1/2 years of marriage: i am still going thru the motions i have grown children that have their own children i am the only one home. so everyday i go to a empty house i still cry talk to george every day yell cry i feel my voice going higher and higher asking the same question over and over again. i promised myself that i will be strong for the sake of george but guess what i have my days when all i want to do is cry and stay in bed i went to a therapist for a couple of months but stopped going because we became friends more than doctor patient. i found this website and go on it every day it seems that it helps me more than a doctor. my insurance co found me a few doctors that i could go to but like i said i stopped going. i do not know if you looked at the comments that i made on the system about george. one day i was thanking someone on this system and i hear someone calling my name softly i turned around thinking it was one of my co-workers but it was not. wed i had a dream that george and i were talking about how i spend money i told him i will slow down it is not much i know if i ever need any money the kids would help me but i would not ask them they have their own lives again kerry take the time when no one is home and just let everything out of your system scream cry yell it will feel good you take care of yourself if you need any one to talk to remember me i will be there for you and the people on this website will also be there

Permalink Reply by Christy on December 3, 2010 at 8:17am

Kerry, I know you are devasted at losing your husband but please don't blame God! I get so tired of all the things people say that is NOT from the bible therefore it has no basis. I have searched the bible daily since this experience trying to find answers. No where in the bible that I can find, does it say that God takes our loved ones. People say it all the time "God needed one more angel" or "God thought he was doing such a good job down here that he had some special job for him in heaven." Well I don't see anywhere in the bible that people convert into angels when they die! Angels are angels & people are people! What I did see is that God never inteneded on us dying- it was not in the original plans, that's why after Eve & Adam sinned creating death, that Jesus was born, & bore our sins on the cross so that we could once again live for eternity in our spiritual bodies- which is who we all truely are! So I believe that whatever it is that causes death to our loved ones either accident or illness- God is just there with them as He is always with us everyday. So when people say "God carried him home" I'm o.k. with it- He did carry him home but God is not responsible for ending his life! That would be Satan trying to screw with us. How many people lose their loved ones, blame God & turn to drugs & alcohol? Satan is laughing & you are seperated from God & your loved one. Search for yourself & see what you find. God IS LOVE, God is TRUTH, God alone can give us PEACE. Please, turn to him in prayer, open your bible, maybe go to someone at church for advice/ counseling. Try this instead of drinking & pills & I believe you and your children will be better off. I am praying for you. Let me know if you have questions or an argument & I will try to help. Ellen is right, drinking & pills only mask your feelings. Stick with God & he will provide for your needs. HUGS, Christy

Permalink Reply by Jo on December 3, 2010 at 8:44am

Wow! if this is for real,I wish you would find some professional help. If you are this out of control,drinking and doing pills,and also have to take care of your daughter,get help!.her school might be a place to start.As yet ,I haven't gone to the bottle but do take some pills,which help,Don't do combos of pills and booze.If you feel you can't take control over your emotions right now,then see about an out-patient clinic,or a support group for grief counceling.The UK must have them.
At this point,I would be seriously looking for help and from a professional,not a friend who may not understand how bad you really feel.Get a clear head and start to help youself and your Daughter.

Permalink Reply by kerry on December 14, 2010 at 4:07pm

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kathy obiedzinski said:

kerry:first of all i am so sorry for your loss. i was like you going thru the same emotions mental hospital, not being able to sleep at night i was angry with everyone that i could think of people that still had their spouses and looking so happy when i lost my other part of my life after 34 1/2 years of marriage: i am still going thru the motions i have grown children that have their own children i am the only one home. so everyday i go to a empty house i still cry talk to george every day yell cry i feel my voice going higher and higher asking the same question over and over again. i promised myself that i will be strong for the sake of george but guess what i have my days when all i want to do is cry and stay in bed i went to a therapist for a couple of months but stopped going because we became friends more than doctor patient. i found this website and go on it every day it seems that it helps me more than a doctor. my insurance co found me a few doctors that i could go to but like i said i stopped going. i do not know if you looked at the comments that i made on the system about george. one day i was thanking someone on this system and i hear someone calling my name softly i turned around thinking it was one of my co-workers but it was not. wed i had a dream that george and i were talking about how i spend money i told him i will slow down it is not much i know if i ever need any money the kids would help me but i would not ask them they have their own lives again kerry take the time when no one is home and just let everything out of your system scream cry yell it will feel good you take care of yourself if you need any one to talk to remember me i will be there for you and the people on this website will also be there