Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by BoLynn on December 18, 2009 at 2:25pm

Robin, at my husband's service, the Pastor said not to dwell on the "would haves-could-haves-should haves)". Just remember the happy times. There are no answers to the "whys", also. My Bo was given 3 to 5 years. He made it through 1 1/2 years. He suffered for the last 8 months of his life. I lost my love almost 4 months ago. Life without him hurts so much, I feel the pain in my body and my heart. I'm depressed and very grouchy. I find myself snapping at the littlest things. I just want to be left alone and family wants me to enjoy the season. HELLO! They have their spouses by their side, shopping, decorating. I have nothing but a huge pain in my heart that does not go away. I wish they would let me grieve in my own way. I know they mean well, but they can NEVER understand the pain till they lose their reason for living. We will make it through this season, Robin, it's almost over.

With Warm Aloha, Linda B.

Permalink Reply by Robin Gustafson on December 18, 2009 at 4:02pm

I kept tell myself not to dwell "would haves-could- haves-should haves. My husband suffered the last 6 months of his life. What kind of cancer did your husband have. I know what you mean went you say they can never understand the pain tell they are there. My sister just tell me move on just get over it she still have her husband. Also some friends they said thing. Yes Linda we are almost over it.





Linda said:

Robin, at my husband's service, the Pastor said not to dwell on the "would haves-could-haves-should haves)". Just remember the happy times. There are no answers to the "whys", also. My Bo was given 3 to 5 years. He made it through 1 1/2 years. He suffered for the last 8 months of his life. I lost my love almost 4 months ago. Life without him hurts so much, I feel the pain in my body and my heart. I'm depressed and very grouchy. I find myself snapping at the littlest things. I just want to be left alone and family wants me to enjoy the season. HELLO! They have their spouses by their side, shopping, decorating. I have nothing but a huge pain in my heart that does not go away. I wish they would let me grieve in my own way. I know they mean well, but they can NEVER understand the pain till they lose their reason for living. We will make it through this season, Robin, it's almost over.

With Warm Aloha, Linda B.

Permalink Reply by BoLynn on December 18, 2009 at 6:17pm

Robin, my Bo had stage 3 lung cancer. He stopped smoking 30 years ago and he was not a heavy smoker.

I just had a disagreement with my mom yesterday. She wants me to join them and some friends for a lunch get together at her home. They are HER friends and I did not feel up to making small talk with HER friends. She just could not understand why I did not want to do that. She tries to make me feel guilty by telling me that they went to my husband's service.........DUH......so what? I don't owe these people anything. I am grateful that they paid their respects, but I don't owe them ANYTHING! My mom is just like your sister. She cannot understand why I cannot move on. On top of all the pain and heartache I must endure, I have to deal with her nagging. Mom, I'm 62 years old! Enough is enough! Some days I just want to stay in bed with the covers over my head and hide from the world. But I cannot do that. I have a 42 year old son with a mental disability, and a little chihuahua that needs my care.

Permalink Reply by Robin Gustafson on December 18, 2009 at 6:52pm

My husband had stage 4 bladder cancer.
People should back away went you said no you did not want to do something. They are her friends not yours. I'm sure you thank people for been they in your time of need. Here something that I look went I need help.
"Grief takes time.
You won't get over it in a month
or even a year.
In fact, you never get over it.
You blend it into your life,
And make it part of you."



Sometime I feel like pin on me then I would not have to tell people how I feel and I will stop griefing went I'm ready. The day I'm ready I will make it part of my life tell then let me grief. I knew Christmas was going to be a hard time for me so let me grief for my lost. Here a good web site to go to http://www.eons.com/my_eons They have a great group for widows and widowers.


Linda said:

Robin, my Bo had stage 3 lung cancer. He stopped smoking 30 years ago and he was not a heavy smoker.

I just had a disagreement with my mom yesterday. She wants me to join them and some friends for a lunch get together at her home. They are HER friends and I did not feel up to making small talk with HER friends. She just could not understand why I did not want to do that. She tries to make me feel guilty by telling me that they went to my husband's service.........DUH......so what? I don't owe these people anything. I am grateful that they paid their respects, but I don't owe them ANYTHING! My mom is just like your sister. She cannot understand why I cannot move on. On top of all the pain and heartache I must endure, I have to deal with her nagging. Mom, I'm 62 years old! Enough is enough! Some days I just want to stay in bed with the covers over my head and hide from the world. But I cannot do that. I have a 42 year old son with a mental disability, and a little chihuahua that needs my care.