Hi all My name is Nancy. My husband passed away on December 20th, 2009. We were only married for four and a half years but would have been forever. We were so happy and so much in love. He was the love of my life and my soulmate. He was so good to me and I adored him. He could make me laugh till I peed my pants and our whole life together was a blessing from God, even how we met. I am hurting so much and to top it off his parents, especially his mom, won't even acknowlege me or talk with me. They use to be really nice to me and acted like they loved me when my husband Joel was around and I was good to them always. His mom and Joel were not close when he became a teenager. They made their peace when he got older, but I feel like she resents me or something. Anyway she has made it clear to the rest of his family that she wants nothing to do with me and they in return are following her. I feel like I never mattered to any of them and I just don't understand it. I would never do this to my daughter in law or anyone. I want to write her a letter and let out my feelings but I'm afraid to...she's hurt me so much already. Any thoughts here would be so much help to me. Don't know what to do or how to handle all of this. I don't trust her now at all. We didn't have a will but I am beneficiary for our estate. In state of wa if their are surviving parents they can take 25%. Joel would not want this and they don't need it, but she has turned out to be so mean and distant that I'm afraid they will. We are not rich and they didn't offer to help me with anything...the service the funeral arrangements and even wrote their own obituary and threatened not to come to the funeral. In fact, after he passed away they wouldn't even talk to me anymore. They showed up at the service and his Dad gave me a quick hug and his mom was cold as ice and I tried to hug her and she just threw up her arms and said "please!" I wanted to cry but held it together as I didn't want her to see me cry. I wish I didn't have such a big heart and was tougher, but I'm not built like that. My son saw the whole thing though and just said," Oh mom! Don't let her get to you." I hated it that he had to see her be so mean. He didn't know here very well. If Joel were alive he would be so upset with his mom's behavior and wouldn't stqand for it at all. Any advice out their would be much appreciated as I am grieving and dealing with so much and now all this. I'm going crazy!

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Replies to This Discussion

Sheila Sipson said:
Randolph L. Schrader said:
I just want to share some of my problems with you all so that you know you are not alone. When my wife of 44 years died 10 months ago, I died too. Of all that she was to me,she was my pal. I have kids and g-kids but its not the same. I cant sleep,watch tv and movies nor listen to music without knowing she is no longer here to share it with me. I am not suicidal but I dont want to live anymore. I died when she died. All of her friends and family diappeared when she died. The terrible scar I have in my body has taken away my heart,soul, and spirit. I am doing the best I can with maintaining my(our) affairs. I am so sad and lonely. All of the 'firsts' without her is unbearable....Randolph Schrader


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