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14 february is really bothering me this year.....
Greetings, all,
My husband, who died on 29 June 2009, was not, in some ways, terribly romantic - oh, sometimes he would get me flowers, or, when we would go out to dinner, and music was being performed - he would have the performer or performers serenade me at our table (I'd cover my face, and he'd laugh)
So Valentine's Day, like other holidays, was never all that big a deal - we would go out to dinner a week before or a couple of days after (to avoid the crowds), I'd get him a funny, scandalous card (which he'd laugh at) - and that was pretty much it.
This year - I am _dreading_ 14 February 2010 - every store I go in has hearts, cards, and other Valentine peripherals (okay, I'm in IT, so I think like a geek (ha))...). Every other commercial is for jewelry, candy or eHarmony.com (really irritating) - it just seems like another day to be alone, to miss him, to cry, a bit - I endured Christmas and New Year's, but this is really, really bothering me....
My husband, who died on 29 June 2009, was not, in some ways, terribly romantic - oh, sometimes he would get me flowers, or, when we would go out to dinner, and music was being performed - he would have the performer or performers serenade me at our table (I'd cover my face, and he'd laugh)
So Valentine's Day, like other holidays, was never all that big a deal - we would go out to dinner a week before or a couple of days after (to avoid the crowds), I'd get him a funny, scandalous card (which he'd laugh at) - and that was pretty much it.
This year - I am _dreading_ 14 February 2010 - every store I go in has hearts, cards, and other Valentine peripherals (okay, I'm in IT, so I think like a geek (ha))...). Every other commercial is for jewelry, candy or eHarmony.com (really irritating) - it just seems like another day to be alone, to miss him, to cry, a bit - I endured Christmas and New Year's, but this is really, really bothering me....
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Yvonne on
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Yaca
My husband too like yours was not terribly romantic, though I know he loved me dearly. He would get me a a truly heartfelt card for my birthday, anniversary, valentines day. All these years I have kept these cards, and am I ever glad I did. I cry when I read them but it reassures me of our love. Yeah i really hate the eharmony and cupid.com commercials too. First of all they are really annoying and then make me think will I ever find someone to be with again. It is so lonely for us. I lost Larry August 9 2009. He passed suddenly and although it was a great shock, I feel blessed that he did not suffer.
Larry usually bought me a potted mini rose for Valentines Day and then we would plant it in the yard in the spring. He didn't like buying bouquets because they would only wither and die. I think I will buy myself a mini rose this valentines and plant it in the yard this spring. For sure I know I am going to buy a special lily bulb this spring and plant it for him. He loved tiger lilies.
We will survive this day and many other firsts that we have to face. We will shed tears and wonder why us? All we can do is endure and hope for brighter days when the hurt is not so raw.
I guess what I am saying is do what makes you happy, don't feel selfish and honor his life by carrying on as best you can.
Take care Yvonne -
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Permalink Reply by Charles on
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My wife was a romantic all the way.When we met I had never done anything for anyone on valentines day or any other day for that matter.Our first valentine was in 1985 and I did get her flowers and candy and all the cards.I can never forget the joy in her face.From that time on I got her flowers and candy.Because of her I became a romantic.She also kept all the cards we exchanged and that is one of my most prized treasures,, One of her cards to me says..The day I met you was the luckiest day of my life,, I never knew true love until you.I have it in a frame and I bet I read it a hundred times a day.This valentines day will break my heart.Im sure we all will be crying this valentines day.
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Permalink Reply by kathleen caylor on
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Yaca,I had talked myself out of being upset for Christmas.But failed miserably!So I decided not to have such high expectations.Why set ourselves up for disappointments.It's so funny,the older my husband got the more romantic he became.He was 65 when he died.He turned into this kind,thoughtful,caring person.Not that he hadn't been,but even more so.But he didn't buy things just on holidays or special occasions,he surprised me ,just because.One Valentines day he bought me,now get this,1 dozen fried chicken livers,now He knew I loved chicken livers.How many other women can say that!!lol.He left me with alot of smiles.I miss him as I'm sure you miss your husband.He took my heart when he left.Enjoy your memories,Kathy
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How well put Kathleen,,,
He took my heart when he left.Enough said I guess. -
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Permalink Reply by Ann on
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Again, you all express my sentiments so precisely! Have you noticed, as I have that on special occasions and you're shopping for cards that the more romantic and loving ones just seem to jump right out at you? I used to have to hunt and hunt for the perfect card! My Joe was always generous with cards; he would usually give me at least 2, one funny, one sentimental. The week after he passed away in March, I found 2 anniversary cards he had already bought me for 2009 and our anniversary wasn't until August. Every Mother's Day, one of my gifts from him was always a beautiful Mandevilla plant. This past year one of my daughters got me one and I had to cry at her thoughtfulness. These are memories even time cannot erase. Sending love to each of you for Valentoine's Day!
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What a special man,you were truly blessed,Thanks for the love and back at you,Kathy
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It seems so many of us were blessed with loving, caring spouses and have such fond memories even when the tears come. One of my favorite photos of my husband sits beside my bed and shows him holding a bouquet of daffodils for me. He had picked them one day while he was outside working and has such a big smile. I'm so glad I had the foresight to capture that photo. Nothing can dim those precious memories. Thanks again for listening and for sharing. Many prayers for all of you.
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Permalink Reply by kathy arocho on
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i survived Thankgiving, Christmas, News Years and Dec 28th his birthday but Valentine Day is double hard because it will be three months from his passing.
A couple of weeks ago I visited his grave to find out that all his Christmas decorations were gone. Two plots away was a freshly made plot and I noticed that several Christmas decorations were placed with tags with names on them. When I further investigated I found my husbands decorations two plots down piled in a bare corner. I was furious and complained to management. I can't begin to tell you how heartbroken I was. So I'm struggling to cope with all this during a difficult time. I hope things will get better. -
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Permalink Reply by BoLynn on
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Another empty and lonely day for us to face, but this day is filled with hearts and flowers for others. I dedicate this day to my Love. He was a card giver. He always searched for the perfect card that said what is in his heart. I have boxes of them, each a little love letter just to me. Some of you say your loved one took your heart when they left, I say he is gone, but he left his heart with me. It beats next to mine.
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