"Now in 2023 my baby brother died. Today I learned the stent in my heart was not working so I assume I am next"
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I know congratulations are not in order,but you survived!The pain,numbness and memories that we carry will always be there,along with the smiles they brought to us.March is a bad month for so many here.Today is Ann's anniversary.I'll be thinking of all of you.It was my 6 mo.on Saturday for me and I couldn't shake it.I nevered envisioned life without my husband.I'm sure if we had a choice we would have gone with them but since we didn't everyday is a new challenge.Best wishes,Kathy
Laurie,
I am so sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing his picture. I love that you added it. I wish I had some magic words of wisdom, but I am not sure that I do.
I remember the early months all too well. I felt like I was walking through the fog, not knowing where I was going or how I was getting there. I couldn't breathe most days; my heart ached for my life to be normal again. I can't say a whole lot has changed, I do still wish for my old normalcy. The ache is there, but it becomes somewhat manageable (I guess that is what I can call it).
The biggest thing I have tried to do is keep connected with Tom by keeping him present in our lives and honoring him in everything I do. It's good that you have a relationship with his family. Hold on tight to that. Being with them will be very hard at first, but you will get through it. I have found that the initial reaction to being with someone...friends or family...or going to someplace that was special for us...was difficult and very emotional. Each time it gets easier to bear. Let those emotions come, they are very healing. My family has been my strength. I am lucky to have 3 great kids and we are all trying to heal together.
You have made a very good first step by coming here and sharing your story. This is what has helped me tremendously. I have shared Tom with everyone. I want people to know him and know our story. I write on here and also on other grief sites, I started a memorial website for Tom, and I keep a journal for myself. It helps to get the feelings out.
If you have people close to you let them help you through this time. Lean on them for support. They really don't understand what you are going through unless they have lived it, but just having someone to listen helps.
As far as the firsts go, I planned something special on each day of our firsts. That way I had something to look forward to and something to occupy myself for the day. If you can make the something you plan all about Billy it will help you feel a connection to him. I have been to see an intuitive medium twice, now. That is how my girls, my mother-in-law and I spent yesterday...his Angel Day. I know not everyone feels comfortable with that idea, but for me the things she says and validations she gives me are very comforting. It all depends on how you feel about that kind of thing. I have also had days where all I wanted to do was "wallow" in my own self pity. That is allowed too. You need to do what is best for you to help you get through. Just don't let yourself wallow too long, you don't want to get stuck there and Billy wouldn't want you to either.
I also started taking classes online working toward a degree in medical administration. I have been a stay at home mom and a day care provider for the past 9 years. I decided that now that I have to become financially responsible for my family I have to do something that pays a little better than day care. It's the first decision I have made by myself in over 27 years. I always had Tom to bounce ideas off of, this time I was on my own, but it has been one of the best things for me. I have gained back a lot of the confidence I lost when I lost Tom.
I completely understand the wanting to be with Billy. That is all I wanted in the beginning. I wanted something to happen so that all of us would be together again...Tom, me, and our kids. I didn't want to leave them behind to feel this burden...we all needed to be together. I wished for that to happen and although that feeling is not as strong, I still would be ok with all of us being together. That is the goal. Everyday I wake up and know I am one day closer to being back with my love. I have always said I will not move on, but I will move forward because I have no other choice.
I'm not sure I shared anything worthwhile, but this is how I am making it through. Everday I still wake up and for a nano-second life is normal, then my reality sets in. I think I will always wish for my o
One year,Its so hard to believe.Its six months for me now.Life is so different living without that best friend, soul mate.Life goes on,, One breath at a time as you said.
Monday the 22 is Irene Parkers one year.Lets keep her in our thoughts also.
Irene's wisdom and words of encouragement has carried me through so many dark hours as Im sure she has done for so many others here.
Ann, Kathy, and all the others here that not only have your own burdens to carry but are so generous with your time and words.
I THANK YOU.
Not long ago I was about as far down and gone as one could get, but today i am so much better.I could not have made it this far without the wonderful people here that understand and also travel this long lonely road.
Laurie,
I am so sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing his picture. I love that you added it. I wish I had some magic words of wisdom, but I am not sure that I do.
I remember the early months all too well. I felt like I was walking through the fog, not knowing where I was going or how I was getting there. I couldn't breathe most days; my heart ached for my life to be normal again. I can't say a whole lot has changed, I do still wish for my old normalcy. The ache is there, but it becomes somewhat manageable (I guess that is what I can call it).
The biggest thing I have tried to do is keep connected with Tom by keeping him present in our lives and honoring him in everything I do. It's good that you have a relationship with his family. Hold on tight to that. Being with them will be very hard at first, but you will get through it. I have found that the initial reaction to being with someone...friends or family...or going to someplace that was special for us...was difficult and very emotional. Each time it gets easier to bear. Let those emotions come, they are very healing. My family has been my strength. I am lucky to have 3 great kids and we are all trying to heal together.
You have made a very good first step by coming here and sharing your story. This is what has helped me tremendously. I have shared Tom with everyone. I want people to know him and know our story. I write on here and also on other grief sites, I started a memorial website for Tom, and I keep a journal for myself. It helps to get the feelings out.
If you have people close to you let them help you through this time. Lean on them for support. They really don't understand what you are going through unless they have lived it, but just having someone to listen helps.
As far as the firsts go, I planned something special on each day of our firsts. That way I had something to look forward to and something to occupy myself for the day. If you can make the something you plan all about Billy it will help you feel a connection to him. I have been to see an intuitive medium twice, now. That is how my girls, my mother-in-law and I spent yesterday...his Angel Day. I know not everyone feels comfortable with that idea, but for me the things she says and validations she gives me are very comforting. It all depends on how you feel about that kind of thing. I have also had days where all I wanted to do was "wallow" in my own self pity. That is allowed too. You need to do what is best for you to help you get through. Just don't let yourself wallow too long, you don't want to get stuck there and Billy wouldn't want you to either.
I also started taking classes online working toward a degree in medical administration. I have been a stay at home mom and a day care provider for the past 9 years. I decided that now that I have to become financially responsible for my family I have to do something that pays a little better than day care. It's the first decision I have made by myself in over 27 years. I always had Tom to bounce ideas off of, this time I was on my own, but it has been one of the best things for me. I have gained back a lot of the confidence I lost when I lost Tom.
I completely understand the wanting to be with Billy. That is all I wanted in the beginning. I wanted something to happen so that all of us would be together again...Tom, me, and our kids. I didn't want to leave them behind to feel this burden...we all needed to be together. I wished for that to happen and although that feeling is not as strong, I still would be ok with all of us being together. That is the goal. Everyday I wake up and know I am one day closer to being back with my love. I have always said I will not move on, but I will move forward because I have no other choice.
I'm not sure I shared anything worthwhile, but this is how I am making it through. Everday I still wake up and for a nano-second life is normal, then my reality sets in. I think I will always wish for my o
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