Just lossed my wife of 10 + years and together for over 19 years. She died on mar. 20th. She was diagnosed with cancer in oct. I am having a hard time coping with her death. It feels like part of my heart has been ripped out and i can't sleep at all and in it now tues. Since sat i probably slept 3 good peaceful hours. It is 4:25 am as i write this.

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I am glad the funeral part is over, I am finally starting to look at a ll the wonderful times we had and making me feel so much better. Donna was a quiet person, kept too herself, a home body, but loved her family and especially her children ( own) amanda and brandon, her grandaughter rhea who will be 2 in may. Several of the daycare parents and their children attended and seeing the children made me happy. They really loved her!!!!!!!!!!!!! I spent a lot of time at home helping her at times with her daycare thru the years and i got attached to so many of the children as well. I loved her daycare children and when i saw them yesterday crying i told them i loved them they were part of my family as well. My wife losing her daycare broke her heart, it was everything to her and now looking back that is something i am going to miss so much as well. I was just in awe of how many people showed up to pay thier last respects for my wife, the stream of people just kept coming and coming. I didn't realize just how many peoples lives she had touched. Even her sisters were amazed as well we knew a lot of people would come but not a crowd like this, it made me feel good at a moment as bad as this. At her funeral her niece sang amazing grace, and it made us all cry, but it was a great moment. My wife really loved her singing and even had songs on her mp3 players as well of hers. Now it is morning i can't sleep again, but i did rest and i am just trying to think of the good times we had. I have a picture of her in front of me, It is a picture of her with our son when he was little. Her arms wrapped around him it is a beautiful picture. I can't believe she is gone, we had such a wonderful life together. we had everything we needed, house of our own , children , a loving family. Just shaken my head as i'm writing this in disbelief, thinking all this taken away from me.
Bill,
I am truly sorry for your loss. Not sleeping is part of the grieving process. Your loss is too raw to realize all of the things you must go through. Find yourself a doctor who will prescribe a mild pill like valium or lorazapem. It will help.
Its been over a month now and still feel the same way. In tears sitting here writing this, I have been thinking of my wife all day. I have had moments where i am happy, but then suddenly start thinking of her when i am alone. I really can't seem to move on from this. The love of my life is gone and right now there is no enjoyment. I keep hoping each day it will get better , but i end up feeling the same way.
Bill,
I am so sorry for your loss. You are only now just starting to come out of the shock and start your grief process. The crying and not sleeping are all part of it. I lost my Billy on June 16, 2009 at the age of 50, and I still cry alot, but not every day anymore. It will never be the same as it was, but you will adjust. Don't be too hard on yourself and let yourself feel all that you need to. If you want to talk you can e-mail me - pbonacum@yahoo.com
Bill I am sorry for your lose. I lost my husband Barry 22 months ago and I still cry. We were together almost 24 years and I miss him so much. We have a son who just turned 16 and a 6 year old son. They are the reason I get out of bed in the morning. We all miss him so much. My oldest son plays sports and this helps him stay busy. He misses his dad because he also coached some of him teams. I was telling someonbe today that my husband passed away and it bought tears to my eyes, Sometimes it is hard to speak but some how I get though it. I ask God everyday to give me the strength to make it though the day. So far he has gave me that strength. It is a hard road and I dont think our hearts will ever be the same. The great memories are what gets us though the hard days. Take care.
Bill, My sympathy to you on your loss. i lost my husband of 46 years on November 9th. I still don't sleep well at night and that is with sleeping pills and an anti-depressant. When I try to sleep, I have his picture right by me so that when I wake up it is the first thing I see. It is very difficult to cope with losing your spouse, your sweetheart, your best friend all in one. Sometimes I go for days on only a few hours sleep and then for a few nights I sleep pretty well and catch up on my sleep. Even though my husband had a heart attack and then needed and received a heart transplant, I did not expect that I would lose him. He was in the hospital for five weeks before he passed and I still in my heart believed he would be fine. I do feel like part of my heart was just torn right out of my chest. I don't know how long it takes before you can finally accept what has happened and go on. Just know that you are not alone and there is always someone around here to listen and help.

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