Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by kathy obiedzinski on June 2, 2010 at 1:52pm

basia: first of all talk to your doctor about the medication. with or without the medication the pain will never go away.we will always cry it depends what type of medication that you go on there will be different side affects only your doctor will know. you may also try seeing a therpist for help i went to 8 sessions in the begining it helped me than i stopped please talk to your doctor before you take anything. every body is different left me know how you are doing

Permalink Reply by Connie on June 2, 2010 at 9:55pm

Basia, I am on an anti-depressant and a sleeping pill because I just could not sleep at all. I was awake for days at a time. My doctor chose to put me on something to help me sleep. I take the anti-depressant at night as well as the sleeping pill and together I do get some sleep. Some nights though I still cannot sleep even with the meds. I have read that taking the meds will only delay the grieving process. I hope that is not true and that I do not have the worst yet to come because the past 7 months have been almost unbearable. It might be good for you to see your doctor and ask his opinion. He knows you best and knows what might be best for you. Don't take anything or try anything on your own. Best of luck to you.

Permalink Reply by heather on June 3, 2010 at 9:15am

I spoke to my doctor about these medications they aren't recommended unless a patient is truly depressed but speak to your doctor each individual is different my prayers are with you

Permalink Reply by Tom on June 3, 2010 at 9:33am

You need to talk with your doctor about any medication you are considering taking.
Like pain pills, they stop the pain for a short while, but the cause is still there.
I had to take one of my wifes pills for depression last week I was so hurting inside. But that was it. The cause of my hurting was still there and I had to address that. Once I found out that I was just missing my wife so bad, and had been ignoring it for quite some time, I am now on the road to feeling better again. I could run from it, but I couldn't hide from it. It all caught up with me.
I don't like having to depend on pills to have a life. I'd rather use my mind to find out the cause of my troubles. There is a time when it's necessary though, as I found out. It did help me just enough to get passed the hurting enough, for me to discover what it was that was hurting me. It came out of no where and was a complete surprize to me, and confussed me too. Knowing what it was is the biggest help, and now I can deal with it as I should.

Permalink Reply by Yaca Attwood on June 3, 2010 at 9:59am

Greetings, Basia

Yes, antidepressants have become somewhat controversial of late - there are the older ones, the MAO's (monoamine oxidase inhibitors), the TCA's (tricyclic antidepressants), the TCA's (tetracyclic antidepressants), the SSRI's (selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors) and the newer SNRI's (selective serotonin-norepinephrine reuptake inhibitors)

There are some opioids (Tramadol) that are used as antidepressants, but there is a concern about their addictive properties - so they are usually given in a highly supervised setting.

The most notable ones: Paxil, Prozac, Lexapro and Zoloft are SSRI's - they do take up to 2 weeks or more to become effective, but they tend to have less side effects than the others.

Cymbalta, Effexor and Duloxetine are SNRI's - you probably have seen the commercials for Cymbalta and Effexor. Their side effects are similar to those of the SSRI's

Your doctor may try you on a _variety_ of these medications, depending on your conversations from him, because some work better with certain people than others

I have been on Zoloft (sertraline) for the past five years - it takes the edge off, so I can function, but it does not dull the pain, numb me or stop me from crying. I can go to work, do what I need to do, and function - so it works for me.

There are people that require "augmenters" to their antidepressants - these types of drugs make the antidepressant more effective: Buspar, Ariza

The MOST imporant thing, Basia - is that YOU do want YOU find best - you will have people telling you: "antidepressants don't work; they're no better than placebos, they're evil, you don't need them, yadda, yadda, yadda". You may find that therapy PLUS an antidepressant works very well for you; you may find therapy alone very helpful

When I first started taking Zoloft (100mg, once a day) - I did experience some diarrhea, but that was it (and it stopped within a week) - and it did take about 2-3 weeks before I felt like it was working. As I said, I was able to better function, but none of my feelings were numbed or dulled.

Pain and grief are useful in healing, but there is a point when there can be TOO MUCH pain, TOO MUCH grief, so that NO healing can take place.

Peace, healing, wisdom and blessing be with you - Yaca Attwood Perkins

Permalink Reply by kathy obiedzinski on June 3, 2010 at 10:34am

yaca i was reading what you wrote basia i just asked that question regarding the medication i was given by my physician. ( carologist) because of my depression (lexapro escitalopram oxalate 10mg. did you ever take this medication. my sister tells me not to take it because of the side affects. i am thinking of taking it a night because it seems sometimes i just cannot sleep i am up at all hours first of all i know nothing about it except who should take it which i printer out on the computer thanks again

Permalink Reply by Randolph L. Schrader on June 3, 2010 at 10:57am

To Kathy, I have taken that med Lexapro and had too many side effects and stopped taking it. I had finally given in to think that an anti-depressant pill might help me. It did not. The nurse asked me if I wanted to take something else and I said no. I dont need these added problems. I slept all the time and had VERY WEIRD dreams. The heck with that. But, you are the one that has to decide, and your doctor. Hug to you and to all.

Permalink Reply by Basia on June 3, 2010 at 11:19am

Thank you all for all your input. I have been thinking about anti-depressant medications because I feel I am not functioning. I get up in the morning just to take the kids to school. They already are dressed and ready to go and all I do is get up and grab my keys and go. Then I come back , go back to sleep and get up around noon. Then I sit there, in front of the screen type a few words to you guys and just sit there! The kids come back , I hide in the shower and cry, tell them to do their homework and barely get through the evening. I can't wait to go to bed at night because the only pill I take is a sleeping pill and it knocks me out, which is a welcome effect. After a painful day of thinking about my Terry (because that's all I do) I want a relief from this pain and just want to feel nothing. This just keeps going and going and it will never end. I don't want to do this anymore.
love and hugs to all, Basia

Permalink Reply by charlotte bannon on June 3, 2010 at 1:10pm

basia, i agree with yaca perkins, i myself have been on antidepressants and anxiety medicine for many years since my dad passed away. what happens we all have a seritona level in our brain and grief is one of the main factors that brings that level down, when it is down, some people experience a lot of symptons,such as migraines,dizziness loss of concentration heart palpataions, numbness in hands ,even pains in your chest, and ofcourse consistent crying, even physical symptons. i am not telling you this not to frighten you, the point is ,a person who is diabetic,needs insulin,or a heart patient ,needs medication to keep things under control,ect. i could go on and on, it will never be a cover up for your feelings maybe for some, but usually not,it will help you focus,concentrate avoid getting any of those symptons that i said in the beginning.the main thing is it will keep your serotonin level up and that is your goal, which only the medicine will help that.i am sure when you speak with your doctor he wil tell you the same thing. also basia, ilost my husband april19 we were married 38 yrs and have 3 sons and 2 grandaughters,i lost more than half of myself , and i to cry and cry everyday, different times out of the day, my medicines are not making me numb, i am grieving hard and miss my husband so bad,but i can still focus and concentrate on things and remember my prayers, and i don't experience any of those things i said in the begining , which at one time i did which comes from anxiety which sometimes is caused from depression(anxiety) which are usually labeled to be classic symptons of panic attacks,which i don't experience , because i have it under control by taking the medicine. anyone reading this, i am not trying to contradict what you are telling basia,honestly,and if i offended anyone i am truly sorry, that is not what i intended to do. because of my experience and so many other people i know go through the same thing, i would hate to see basia end up getting any of those symptons that usually strike some people, and if i could help you prevent any of this happen atleast i know i did something special.god bless you ,basia , charlotte bannon

Permalink Reply by Fernandohulya on June 5, 2010 at 6:00pm

This is mostly what i want to do but my kids are pushing me so hard just like my husband did when I felt a little upset and wanted to hide from what was bugging me. He was my rock, God you have taken a saint, why? I look at my children and see him in them and i know he would be so mad at me if I did not take care of his treasures. I do most of what you have said , take the kids to school but I have animals and my Baby loved his animals. So they kick me too just like the kids, the fact is he knew the children and the animals will be there for me. He thinks of everthing and what i have done for him but I will make him proud of me. THE PAIN IS WITH ME WITH EVERY STEP! I want to grieve so my mum can take care of my children but my mum is sorting my nans affairs, she passed away 10 days later. My two people who I could say anything. The truth is I want to but a beautiful place and put all my effort to create a beautiful mousoleum for him and me for the family too so we can be together. How sad of me because my husband was a man of live, he wanted to life to the fulllest. Basia, we will make it for them and make them proud so when we together at last we have so much many things to tell. Ohhh, I just feel the this.....

Permalink Reply by Kathy Marie Luersen on June 12, 2010 at 7:00am

Please try reading, volunteering, getting a pet, walking 3 miles daily, just go ahead and cry it all out and then go play soccer. If that doesn't work... antidepressants don't do anything some make you sleep all day and then you eel like it will be ok. i take Zoloft... for years am afraid to stop... but i still feel alittle pain about my deceased spouse. Insurance won't take you if you are on antidepressants... ie crazy pills.

Permalink Reply by pippa on June 12, 2010 at 1:10pm

...I take wellbutrin and would be completely unable to function without it. I starting taking it when Liza was diagnosed with her last recurrence and it helps me to to be organized in my thought process and vertical in all things, rather than horizontal and catatonic.
Liza died three weeks ago today and it feels incredible to me that I have lived through this much time in so much pain and have survived-am surviving- to live another day.
I believe in the efficacy of antidepressants and am an advocate for their use. They regulate chemicals in the brain and thank god for that- I know that without Wellbutrin , my brain would be as awash in poison as Liza's body was at the last.
There is no reason for people not to avail themselves of advances in medicine to ease pain-talk to your doctor about what they feel is best for you.
good luck.

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