Hi everyone.  My husband Gordy passed away Novemeber 19th 2009.  It was the 1st year anniv this past friday.  I got to say I did better than expected on this day.  We had a mass for him and then went out to dinner with family and a few close friends.  I went and had a tatoo of a butterfly with the cancer ribbons done.  We did a balloon release with his sister,her husband, Gordys niece,her husband and 4 kids - ages 5 (tripletts) and 8 .  Each of the kids told me what they loved best about Uncle Gordy.     Trust me i did break down.  I wrote a letter to him telling him how i missed him,everything thats gone wrong in the past year, and then how far i have come in the year without him-  you learn fast that you now have to take care of everything.  I think that the grief counseling i do has helped.  I do a grp 2xs a month and once a month to an ind. social worker.  To me ,counseling is a sign of healing not weakness.   I will be dropping the ind one after the holidays and only going if on a need to basis 

My xmas tree is up this year -something i could not even think of last year-   I am almost sure its time to live life again- maybe its time to try to smile,

Mary