Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Randolph L. Schrader on November 16, 2010 at 7:56am

ellen, I cant tell you it will get better but you will harden. Everything will still be there though.Hugs to you. Hugs are good.

Permalink Reply by ellen on November 16, 2010 at 8:51am

Barry was a chef at one time and he did all the cooking. I have to do it on my own this year, and I dont know how I will handle it emotionally. I just would be happy to stop crying right now

Permalink Reply by ellen on November 19, 2010 at 2:12pm

I am hoping the anticipation of Thanksgiving will be worse than the acutal day for me. his sister is coming to my house, she lost her husband 8 months before her brother. We were both widows at age 48. She is just a little over a year as I approach my year. I really wish I could get my old life back the way it was.

Permalink Reply by Linda O'Connor on November 19, 2010 at 3:29pm

My Kevin passed away on 10/29/08, so I am just past that 2 yr mark, after 22 yrs together. He also died from liver disease. Yes, I can say it does get easier. I don't know that it gets better, but I think we learn to deal eventually with living our lives alone & differently than we were used to. I still grieve & cry at times, but not nearly like I did the first year. I didn't find this site until the first part of this year, & these people have helped me more than anything else to learn to adjust. I've made some great friends here!
Hang in there and take one day at a time! Hugs & prayers to you.

Permalink Reply by Yaca Attwood on November 20, 2010 at 3:23pm

Greetings, Ellen,

I am so very sorry for the death of your beloved Barry.....and, yes and no, it gets 'better'. The crying all the time tends to lessen, there are even good days when you feel something asymptotically approaching 'normal'. However, the loss, the grief, the sorrow never entirely goes away - my husband Byron Raymond Perkins died on 29 June 2009 of liver disease (and I am sure you know all about the ascites, the jaundice, the hepatic encephalopathy, the futilty of the lactulose, etc, etc).

I work a lot (I am in Information Technology; I am a Database Administrator) - so I am kept busy most days and most weekends - but even after 16+ months, there are days I get in the car in the parking lot at work, and just cry my heart out, because I miss him so much. It's hard to see happy couples (I say a blessing upon them, to not feel bitterness and jealousy), it's hard to go anywhere because I just know and feel so alone. It is better than it was in November 2009, but there is still a hole in my heart and soul because a part of me is gone - my Old, Tired Decrepit White Man With No Gluteus Maximus....

Peace, comfort and healing be with you - Yaca Attwood Perkins