Today I was shopping and picking up some fall flowers when I just broke into tears. Some of the stores are already putting out Christmas decorations. My husband loved Christmas, he loved going shopping with me and we'd look for interesting red ornaments to put on our tree. Last year was a wonderful Christmas. Because of the distance, it was the very first time my three kids and all four grandsons were together. There was a reason for this as Jim died of a massive heart attack on April 8. I have been through our anniversary and in just a few days it will be six months. But I just don't know about getting through Christmas. I'm planning on going to my daughter's in Vegas, and my son may also get to be there, he doesn't have his boys this year. Then I've thought about just staying home. Sometimes its too much of an effort to keep up a front. I have been having some good days this week, but today has been really hard. How do you get through your first holiday season without your husband? I'm not sure I can make it.