Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Mary A White on October 3, 2010 at 12:34pm

Charlotte I lost my husband Sept, 11 2010 after 30 years, There is nothing I can say that will stop the pain.
David was my everything and I miss him terribly as I know you miss your husband as well. I do know that 56 years is a long time to love someone and when they are taken away you Have a hugh hole left. I like to think that he is still around me and even though I cant see him I talk to him all the time. If people think I am crazy oh well. I know life goes on for us and we ask why them? why us? and we cry more than we breath. Just know tht you are not alone all of us here have lost the Loves of our life and we do understand the pain that you feel.

Permalink Reply by Mary A White on October 3, 2010 at 12:34pm

Charlotte I lost my husband Sept, 11 2010 after 30 years, There is nothing I can say that will stop the pain.
David was my everything and I miss him terribly as I know you miss your husband as well. I do know that 56 years is a long time to love someone and when they are taken away you Have a hugh hole left. I like to think that he is still around me and even though I cant see him I talk to him all the time. If people think I am crazy oh well. I know life goes on for us and we ask why them? why us? and we cry more than we breath. Just know tht you are not alone all of us here have lost the Loves of our life and we do understand the pain that you feel.

Permalink Reply by Nancy Satterthwaite on October 3, 2010 at 12:50pm

Charlotte,

Welcome to this site, the comfort you will find here will help you through your Journey. My husband died May 1, 2010, after 28 years of marriage. I was a train wreck when I came upon the site by chance, and it has changed my life forever. Not only did I meet several people who I can now call, "my new friends." I was guided through the process of grief here, and realized what I was going through was the normal process of grieving. I know the pain you are going through. Only those who have lost a spouse understand. The world around us continue on, living their lives, as we just try to make it through the day. For me, it has gotten better, this site has helped me so much with that, I still have moments and meltdowns. My husband and I met and fell in love in the Fall, so this time of year is really hard for me. I try to keep positive, count my blessings, because I do have many. I got a part-time job to keep my mind busy. I go on weekend trips to various family members so I have something to look forward to. Occasionally I treat myself to something while I am shopping, even if its just something small. Nothing can drastically change a married womens life more, than to lose her husband. Its a devastating earthquake. But we will make it through this, will the help of all our friends on this site.
Hugs to you and God Bless,
Nancy

Permalink Reply by Yaca Attwood on October 4, 2010 at 9:49am

Dear Charlotte,

I am so sorry for the loss of your beloved husband and the father of your children. The time spent with our beloveds is never, ever enough - be it nearly 60 years or less than two years (my husband and I were married 1 year and 9 months when he died on 29 June 2009)

It is very hard - the long moments of life, the silences, the empty rooms. It is very hard to see other couples, other families, others being fulfilled.

Of course, you have hard days - full of memories, full of love, full of grief. Cry and grieve as much and for as long as you need to - love your children, but only you will know when you are ready to deal with your sweetie's possessions, or make other decisions. I hope there will be _one_ person in your life who will be willing to sit with you, and not say anything - who will allow you to cry, and remember, and grieve and laugh and talk about your husband without squirming.

Peace, blessing, healing and grace be upon you - Yaca Attwood Perkins

Permalink Reply by Yaca Attwood on October 4, 2010 at 9:49am

Dear Charlotte,

I am so sorry for the loss of your beloved husband and the father of your children. The time spent with our beloveds is never, ever enough - be it nearly 60 years or less than two years (my husband and I were married 1 year and 9 months when he died on 29 June 2009)

It is very hard - the long moments of life, the silences, the empty rooms. It is very hard to see other couples, other families, others being fulfilled.

Of course, you have hard days - full of memories, full of love, full of grief. Cry and grieve as much and for as long as you need to - love your children, but only you will know when you are ready to deal with your sweetie's possessions, or make other decisions. I hope there will be _one_ person in your life who will be willing to sit with you, and not say anything - who will allow you to cry, and remember, and grieve and laugh and talk about your husband without squirming.

Peace, blessing, healing and grace be upon you - Yaca Attwood Perkins

Permalink Reply by Virginia on October 4, 2010 at 3:19pm

Charlotte, I am sorry for your loss and welcome, Everyone here knows the pain and we are here for each other.You are right no one knows the pain if they haven't had the loss and yes 56 yrs. wow god bless , the memories i found in the beggining were very hard to deal with and i tried not to remember, the pain was so great. Now I find them to be very comforting. I am going on 17 months, the thinking of what could have been is still a bitter pill but , i thank god i can think about moving on, because for me thats what I have to do to honor our life. I will be with mike again till then i have to do my best to move forward. you have found a good place to share what you are feeling and to know your not alone. God Bless and hugs

Permalink Reply by Kay Arcuni on October 4, 2010 at 7:47pm

Hi Charlotte, my husband passed away on August 17, 2010 after 38 years with our time in high school dating and being married. He was my very best friend and I was his. That is the part that makes this more hard to bear than anything that our best friends are gone. It has been suggested to me that I find a group to attend, my mother-in-law lost my father-in-law last year and now her son this year, anyway she goes to group meetings thru hospice they have open meetings. She tells me that the meeting do help. I hope you find peace in your life please accept a hug from me. I know they are the thing I miss most.

Permalink Reply by Connie on October 5, 2010 at 10:05pm

Charlotte, My sincere sympathy to you on the loss of your husband. I can understand how you feel because I lost my husband of 46 years ago 11 months ago. Most of my life I spent with him. I was 18 when we married. I wish I could have had 56 years with him but then I would still not be ready to part with him. I am a little more fortunate in that my children are fairly close to me, one living just a few blocks away, another 25 miles away and the third is a senior at a university in Pennsylvania but still only 90 miles away. I see them all often and they call me several times a day (sometimes too much). It is great having the kids around but they cannot replace their Dad. He was my husband, companion, sweetheart and my very best friend. I miss him so very much. I think of him constantly. I try to get to the cemetery every day but because I have not been feeling too well, it has not been possible over the last few weeks. It doesn't matter if I am at the cemetery or home or in the car, I am thinking of him and our life together and talking to him and sometimes getting angry with him for leaving me alone. I don't know if it will ever get better. I know I will never be truly happy again until I am at his side again.
Charlotte, this web site is probably the best thing that your friend could have done for you. The people on this site are so very kind and compassionate. We are all living with the same nightmare and know what you are feeling. You can pour your heart out and everyone understands. You can say what you are feeling and no one judges or criticizes you for it. I hope that it will help you as it has helped so many of us. May God Bless You.

Permalink Reply by Marlena on October 6, 2010 at 7:49am

Charolotte,

Welcome to the place where you can share your thoughts and feelings and we all understand where you are coming from. So sorry you had to find us here, but this is a good place for peace and comfort.

I am a year ahead of you, my husband, Tom, died unexpectedly on March 16, 2009. We were 2 months and 9 days short of our 25th anniversary. We used to tease that our short term goal was 50 years of marriage and our long term goal was 75 years, so we could be on the Smucker's jar with Willard Scott. We were married at 19, so we knew we could make it, but life threw us a curve ball.

I'm sorry that your family is not close. That can make this journey very lonely. We can now be your substitute family. We will be here to listen when you need to share your ups and downs.

Hang on tight to all of the memories the two of you made; they will carry you through. It's all about one day at a time right now, sometimes one breath at a time. Take care of yourself and do what works for you.

God Bless.

Permalink Reply by Hurting on October 7, 2010 at 11:24pm

Charlotte I am very sorry for your loss. My husband left on December 23, 2009 so I know what you are going through. You have come to the right place as everybody is very understanding and helpful. We also have facebook site and chat room if you are computer oriented. You can find the links on my page. I will pray for all of us.

Permalink Reply by tyresaadair on October 11, 2010 at 8:49am

Hi
charolette,My name is Tyresa I'm sorry for your loss.I lost my husband of half your time,26yrs.He died aug24,2010.The pain for me is still new.The loss I feel Is there with every waking moment and even when I go to bed.I can not imagine the bond you two must have formed in those years.Twice what I had.I envy those who had more years together with their spouses.My Joe started his spiral down hill 16 yrs ago.It has been a LONG rollercoster ride with his health issues. I feel cheated in some ways.He was 51,I'm 44.Our kids were small when he got sickly.We just had our twins ,a month later we were told If he had not come into to the dr that day ;he would have been dead.That's when we learned of the diabetes.It's also when our rollercoster ride began and never stopped.I long for some happier times with him.We were so young to be dealing with these issues.When our twins learned to talk ,walk etc.we were hundreds of miles away.In one hospital or another.So for me I'm glad he is not suffering anymore.I wanted so many more years with him.It sounds like you had a good marriage,In this day and age that's saying alot.You and I have alot to be grateful for .We honored our marriage vows.Stood by our spouses.

Permalink Reply by Charlotte House on October 11, 2010 at 11:10am

tyresaadair said:

Hi
charolette,My name is Tyresa I'm sorry for your loss.I lost my husband of half your time,26yrs.He died aug24,2010.The pain for me is still new.The loss I feel Is there with every waking moment and even when I go to bed.I can not imagine the bond you two must have formed in those years.Twice what I had.I envy those who had more years together with their spouses.My Joe started his spiral down hill 16 yrs ago.It has been a LONG rollercoster ride with his health issues. I feel cheated in some ways.He was 51,I'm 44.Our kids were small when he got sickly.We just had our twins ,a month later we were told If he had not come into to the dr that day ;he would have been dead.That's when we learned of the diabetes.It's also when our rollercoster ride began and never stopped.I long for some happier times with him.We were so young to be dealing with these issues.When our twins learned to talk ,walk etc.we were hundreds of miles away.In one hospital or another.So for me I'm glad he is not suffering anymore.I wanted so many more years with him.It sounds like you had a good marriage,In this day and age that's saying alot.You and I have alot to be grateful for .We honored our marriage vows.Stood by our spouses.

• ‹ Previous
• 1
• 2
• Next ›
• Page