Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Connie on January 28, 2011 at 5:46pm

Nancy,  Healthy Choice dinners were recommended by my doctor but I think it was because he knows that I am not cooking and not eating and rather than that he would recommend me eating at least the Healthy Choice dinners.  Some days I would just eat two packages of peanut butter & cheese crackers.   I lost my husband almost 15 months ago and I can completely understand how you are feeling.  I am lost and lonely.  The dog does help.  I got a puppy in June and she is the reason I still have my sanity.  I have to walk her and feed her and play with her.  At night, I take her into my bed and she cuddles with me.  It at least is another living thing next to me at night.  It may be silly but it helps.  The children laugh that I have her so spoiled.  Everytime I go out she looks for a toy when I come home.  It keeps me going and that is what I need.  There are always days that are worse than others.  The nights are the worst.  I wish there was a simple solution to this but unfortunately we just have to try to survive it if we can.  Prayer is helpful.  Together we will all get through somehow but I just don't know how that is going to be. 

Permalink Reply by Connie on January 28, 2011 at 5:46pm

Nancy,  Healthy Choice dinners were recommended by my doctor but I think it was because he knows that I am not cooking and not eating and rather than that he would recommend me eating at least the Healthy Choice dinners.  Some days I would just eat two packages of peanut butter & cheese crackers.   I lost my husband almost 15 months ago and I can completely understand how you are feeling.  I am lost and lonely.  The dog does help.  I got a puppy in June and she is the reason I still have my sanity.  I have to walk her and feed her and play with her.  At night, I take her into my bed and she cuddles with me.  It at least is another living thing next to me at night.  It may be silly but it helps.  The children laugh that I have her so spoiled.  Everytime I go out she looks for a toy when I come home.  It keeps me going and that is what I need.  There are always days that are worse than others.  The nights are the worst.  I wish there was a simple solution to this but unfortunately we just have to try to survive it if we can.  Prayer is helpful.  Together we will all get through somehow but I just don't know how that is going to be. 

Permalink Reply by Pete Bronson on January 28, 2011 at 11:07pm

I find bagged salad mix with Tuna, Ham, Turkey Breast or Chicken Breast from the Deli or Lunch Meats section of the grocery store along with some shredded cheese and a slice or 2 of toasted potato bread makes a nice easy healthy meal. Peanut Butter and Club Crackers makes a great healthy snack along with single serving fruit cups or applesauce cups and makes for easy cleanup too. A oven rising frozen pizza can feed you a couple or few days and if you choose wisely is not all that bad tasting or for you.

I am truly sorry both you and your mother had to suffer losses in the same year. Try very hard to be understanding with your mom, she probably is more lost then many of us. I know the length of time we are together with our spouse can seriously complicate the pain one feels. I was with my wife in a living arrangement before our marriage from 8 days after my 18th birthday until her passing 2 months ago. I turn 49 on Monday and it will be the first birthday in 32 years she is not with me. I know the loneliness you speak of, we were alone together for years as all our children are grown and gone to live life's of their own. I had to move in with some friends and give up our old apartment because being alone was not an option in my emotional state, we lived in a pet free building. The mornings and evenings are the hardest, most days even in a room full of people I still feel very alone and lost.

I wish you Peace, Joy, and Comfort.

Pete

Permalink Reply by Brigitte on January 30, 2011 at 6:20pm

Dear Nancy,

 

I found a book (actually, I found many) that may help you during some of your difficult times.  It is called Healing a Spouse's Grieving Heart by Alan D. Wolfelt.  Give it a shot!

 

In peace,

 

Brigitte

Permalink Reply by NANCY CHRISSE on January 30, 2011 at 9:04pm

OMG I could be the one writing what you just wrote. My puppy is 7 months old and she too has saved me. She is a Yorki Poo and I take her for walks, and she gets me out.What kind of puppy did you get?

 

 I have tried Healthy Choices, but I find that Stofers fills me up more. I will give them a try again.

God Bless you, you are in my prayers.

Connie said:

Nancy,  Healthy Choice dinners were recommended by my doctor but I think it was because he knows that I am not cooking and not eating and rather than that he would recommend me eating at least the Healthy Choice dinners.  Some days I would just eat two packages of peanut butter & cheese crackers.   I lost my husband almost 15 months ago and I can completely understand how you are feeling.  I am lost and lonely.  The dog does help.  I got a puppy in June and she is the reason I still have my sanity.  I have to walk her and feed her and play with her.  At night, I take her into my bed and she cuddles with me.  It at least is another living thing next to me at night.  It may be silly but it helps.  The children laugh that I have her so spoiled.  Everytime I go out she looks for a toy when I come home.  It keeps me going and that is what I need.  There are always days that are worse than others.  The nights are the worst.  I wish there was a simple solution to this but unfortunately we just have to try to survive it if we can.  Prayer is helpful.  Together we will all get through somehow but I just don't know how that is going to be. 

Permalink Reply by NANCY CHRISSE on January 30, 2011 at 9:05pm

I will thanks.

Brigitte said:

Dear Nancy,

 

I found a book (actually, I found many) that may help you during some of your difficult times.  It is called Healing a Spouse's Grieving Heart by Alan D. Wolfelt.  Give it a shot!

 

In peace,

 

Brigitte

Permalink Reply by NANCY CHRISSE on January 30, 2011 at 9:18pm

Pete Bronson said:

I find bagged salad mix with Tuna, Ham, Turkey Breast or Chicken Breast from the Deli or Lunch Meats section of the grocery store along with some shredded cheese and a slice or 2 of toasted potato bread makes a nice easy healthy meal. Peanut Butter and Club Crackers makes a great healthy snack along with single serving fruit cups or applesauce cups and makes for easy cleanup too. A oven rising frozen pizza can feed you a couple or few days and if you choose wisely is not all that bad tasting or for you.

I am truly sorry both you and your mother had to suffer losses in the same year. Try very hard to be understanding with your mom, she probably is more lost then many of us. I know the length of time we are together with our spouse can seriously complicate the pain one feels. I was with my wife in a living arrangement before our marriage from 8 days after my 18th birthday until her passing 2 months ago. I turn 49 on Monday and it will be the first birthday in 32 years she is not with me. I know the loneliness you speak of, we were alone together for years as all our children are grown and gone to live life's of their own. I had to move in with some friends and give up our old apartment because being alone was not an option in my emotional state, we lived in a pet free building. The mornings and evenings are the hardest, most days even in a room full of people I still feel very alone and lost.

I wish you Peace, Joy, and Comfort.

Pete

Permalink Reply by NANCY CHRISSE on January 30, 2011 at 9:23pm

I went through my birthday in Oct. and was out celebrating with my daughter and friends and would just start crying. It came out of no where. The holidays were terrible since we just lost my dad too. Then we would have had our anniversary last week. That was a hard day. Now next week it would have been my husbands birthday. I have no idea what to expect for that day. Some days are easier than others, and I wonder if we will ever feel alive again. you are in my prayers.

NANCY CHRISSE said:

Pete Bronson said:

I find bagged salad mix with Tuna, Ham, Turkey Breast or Chicken Breast from the Deli or Lunch Meats section of the grocery store along with some shredded cheese and a slice or 2 of toasted potato bread makes a nice easy healthy meal. Peanut Butter and Club Crackers makes a great healthy snack along with single serving fruit cups or applesauce cups and makes for easy cleanup too. A oven rising frozen pizza can feed you a couple or few days and if you choose wisely is not all that bad tasting or for you.

I am truly sorry both you and your mother had to suffer losses in the same year. Try very hard to be understanding with your mom, she probably is more lost then many of us. I know the length of time we are together with our spouse can seriously complicate the pain one feels. I was with my wife in a living arrangement before our marriage from 8 days after my 18th birthday until her passing 2 months ago. I turn 49 on Monday and it will be the first birthday in 32 years she is not with me. I know the loneliness you speak of, we were alone together for years as all our children are grown and gone to live life's of their own. I had to move in with some friends and give up our old apartment because being alone was not an option in my emotional state, we lived in a pet free building. The mornings and evenings are the hardest, most days even in a room full of people I still feel very alone and lost.

I wish you Peace, Joy, and Comfort.

Pete

Permalink Reply by NANCY CHRISSE on January 30, 2011 at 9:23pm

I went through my birthday in Oct. and was out celebrating with my daughter and friends and would just start crying. It came out of no where. The holidays were terrible since we just lost my dad too. Then we would have had our anniversary last week. That was a hard day. Now next week it would have been my husbands birthday. I have no idea what to expect for that day. Some days are easier than others, and I wonder if we will ever feel alive again. you are in my prayers.

NANCY CHRISSE said:

Pete Bronson said:

I find bagged salad mix with Tuna, Ham, Turkey Breast or Chicken Breast from the Deli or Lunch Meats section of the grocery store along with some shredded cheese and a slice or 2 of toasted potato bread makes a nice easy healthy meal. Peanut Butter and Club Crackers makes a great healthy snack along with single serving fruit cups or applesauce cups and makes for easy cleanup too. A oven rising frozen pizza can feed you a couple or few days and if you choose wisely is not all that bad tasting or for you.

I am truly sorry both you and your mother had to suffer losses in the same year. Try very hard to be understanding with your mom, she probably is more lost then many of us. I know the length of time we are together with our spouse can seriously complicate the pain one feels. I was with my wife in a living arrangement before our marriage from 8 days after my 18th birthday until her passing 2 months ago. I turn 49 on Monday and it will be the first birthday in 32 years she is not with me. I know the loneliness you speak of, we were alone together for years as all our children are grown and gone to live life's of their own. I had to move in with some friends and give up our old apartment because being alone was not an option in my emotional state, we lived in a pet free building. The mornings and evenings are the hardest, most days even in a room full of people I still feel very alone and lost.

I wish you Peace, Joy, and Comfort.

Pete

Permalink Reply by CINDY POWELL on January 31, 2011 at 8:47pm

nancy, i am so very sorry for both of your losses. this way of life is so very difficult. i never feel much like eating. i try and eat some salads and tv dinners mainly. i do crave sweets alot, but i find that is a comfort food for me. boy do i need comfort. i lost my husband feb 26th of 2010, so it is comming up on one year. i feel more lost and lonely every day. i would give anything if i could have gone first, but who expects to loose a husband at age 58, and i know that some of us has lost spouses at an even younger age. pete, i too, know what its like to feel alone in a room full of people.