2 years ago today, my beloved and I got married up in the Smoky Mountains. It was the HAPPIEST day of my life, by far. It was a beautiful weekend, spent with lots of love, laughs, family and friends.
I am happy for the 15 months we were married and a better person because of that time. I have been holding up ok, but now w/ the holidays arriving, and today, it's been VERY HARD! I can't help but feel CHEATED, as we were just getting started. Everyone tells me "it was God's will", "he's in a better place", ect., ect., but none of that really comforts me. I try to stay busy, keep distracted, but I miss him sooooooo much! I'm so lonely, so lost.
I guess these Rascal FLatts lyrics sum it up the best!
I miss you so much
Your light, your smile, your way, and everything about us
Though you're gone, you're still here
In my heart, in my tears
Yeah you sure left your mark and we were just getting started
It wasn't long enough, it wasn't long enough... Together...
But it was long enough, yeah, it was long enough... to last forever...
Sometimes I get so mad; I scream and swear at this
Cuz' this, isn't how we planned it
I sit here, in a cold room...
Waiting on you
To run back through that door, the way it was before
You left, it wasn't long enough, it wasn't long enough... together
But it was long enough; yeah it was long enough to last, forever...
I feel Cheated (I feel Cheated), defeated (can't believe it)
Can't believe that you're gone (your gone, your gone)
Oh it was wrong (so wrong)
It wasn't long enough
It wasn't long enough, it wasn't long enough...
Nooo it wasn't long enough, it wasn't long enough...
But it was long enough; yeah it was long enough, to last,
To last, to last forever...
I understand exactly how you feel I lost my husband in September 2011. I had many years with my husband but I still miss him so much. I try to keep my mind and time occupied so I do not feel so lonely this works sometimes and then there are some days that it does not work. I was cleaning my bedroom up last night and I picture that I found had a card in the back and it gave me a better perpestive on my life. It was like my husband said here baby this will help you;When you get a case of loneless and you think nobody's there to love, support and listen. or show they even care, Just reach into your pocket and pull this little card (Nothing could be easier when life seems really hard) And every time you read it, it will help remind you, too A very special part of me is always there with you. After reading this I realized that I will be ok and even though my husband is not here that he is telling me that it is ok to go on with my life and that he will always love me. I am hoping that this card will help me get through the holidays.
Christy, I understand what you're going through. I'm from East Tennessee, so the Smokies are my back yard. I lost my partner Ron of over 11 years back in March of this year. I'm now going through the "firsts" and I know it's not easy. That Rascal Flatts song has helped me more than once to try to deal with the pain. I miss Ron so much and I will love him forever. The thing that I try to focus on more than anything is the fact that Ron was an amazing gift that God gave me and whenever I cry, I think of all of the good times we had together. No amount of time is long enough when we lose someone we're in love with. I'm not saying that I'm anywhere near done with grieving, but I've found that if you can see your husband is still a huge part of your life and loves you and always will, that will comfort you.
Christy you are not alone. I am so sorry for your loss. Your pictures are precious treasures and your memories are golden moments to embrace. I too feel the same way. December 26th would be/will be our 14th Anniversary. I lost Doug suddenly Sept. 29, 2010. There isn't a day that goes by I don't think of him or talk to him. I keep a written journal to him daily. Your Angel is right beside you. HUGS...