Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Linda O'Connor on October 5, 2010 at 7:08am

Marlena, that is a great message for us all. Yes, what we are now living is a new road on life's journey (& not one any one of us chose to travel), but with the help of our friends we have met here, it is easier to bear. I've tried to leave positive messages, as that is the way I am; but I too have my days when I wonder, why me. That is the human nature in us all, we want sometimes that we can't have. We each must learn to live with what is now and travel each day towards a future and to that glimmer of light & hope. We must remember the wonderful memories we have and be thankful for them. Love & prayers to all.

Permalink Reply by Virginia on October 5, 2010 at 7:47am

Marlena, This is very true.We might not think we can or even want to but we must. We have many new people here who like me are saying no, NO WAY that is ever going to happen. They must know there is a glimmer of hope and we are here for each other. I know as some of us begin to see the glimmer of light, and are coming out of the darkness we need to be here for the ones who are starting or still on this journey. They need to hear us and the progression and the sliding back, and to be given the hope that is needed to walk slowley out of the darkness. We are and need to be here for each other. HUGS to all.

Permalink Reply by Kay Arcuni on October 5, 2010 at 11:28am

Thank you,

Permalink Reply by Nancy Satterthwaite on October 5, 2010 at 11:37am

Lois,
Your words were exactly what I would have said. Thank you. And Marlena, I love what you posted, it truly inspires us all to be strong, because we are survivors. We believe in Faith and Hope, that this will get better as we continue our Journey through life. Thank you for sharing it with us..

Nancy


Lois Taitague said:

Sometimes my mind works in mysterious ways, even to me.

When Mark died suddenly it was a shock, of course. But the first thing that came into my mind was that I was only a cog in the wheel of life, and what I he'd just experienced, and what I was going through, was the universal experience. Everyone who has ever been on this planet goes through both experiences at some time or other. I thought of my ancestor women who lost husbands at a young age with small children, and how they survived. I talked to elderly widows and discovered their wisdom. I thought of people who live in war-torn countries and their horrible experiences. I realized that even though the love of my life had been taken from me, I was so fortunate in so many other ways. I realized that I could take this experience as a personal affront, or accept it as part of the journey of life. This is probably why the thought "Why me?" never entered my mind. It happens to everyone else sooner or later, so why not me? But it didn't happen to me, it happened to my Mark. It's not about me, it's about him and his life and his memory. You bet I miss him terribly, and go through bouts of intense sadness and wish he were back with me. But I am not a victim, nor will I ever be one. I won't allow it.

Permalink Reply by bc on October 5, 2010 at 6:56pm

Marlena, what a wonderful message, you are right, it's not a pretty road to travel, I would have never guessed in a million years that I would be in this kind of life. "Meeting" all of you has helped me to see that even though I miss Brad each and every day, and I would give anything to be with him again, there are many others going through this with me. My wish for all of you is that you have some positive days and that we all learn to smile and mean it one day. I've found that on the days I can smile, it makes me and those around me feel just a bit better. I want to thank everyone for all of the help and support you've given me in this journey and to those who are new to this life, I'm here for you. Anytime you have the chance to meet one of "us" face to face, take it! It happened to me and it meant so much to me! Thanks for the visit Randy! Hugs to all of you.

Permalink Reply by bc on October 5, 2010 at 6:56pm

Marlena, what a wonderful message, you are right, it's not a pretty road to travel, I would have never guessed in a million years that I would be in this kind of life. "Meeting" all of you has helped me to see that even though I miss Brad each and every day, and I would give anything to be with him again, there are many others going through this with me. My wish for all of you is that you have some positive days and that we all learn to smile and mean it one day. I've found that on the days I can smile, it makes me and those around me feel just a bit better. I want to thank everyone for all of the help and support you've given me in this journey and to those who are new to this life, I'm here for you. Anytime you have the chance to meet one of "us" face to face, take it! It happened to me and it meant so much to me! Thanks for the visit Randy! Hugs to all of you.

Permalink Reply by bc on October 5, 2010 at 6:57pm

What a beautiful way you put it Lois, so true!



Lois Taitague said:

Sometimes my mind works in mysterious ways, even to me.

When Mark died suddenly it was a shock, of course. But the first thing that came into my mind was that I was only a cog in the wheel of life, and what I he'd just experienced, and what I was going through, was the universal experience. Everyone who has ever been on this planet goes through both experiences at some time or other. I thought of my ancestor women who lost husbands at a young age with small children, and how they survived. I talked to elderly widows and discovered their wisdom. I thought of people who live in war-torn countries and their horrible experiences. I realized that even though the love of my life had been taken from me, I was so fortunate in so many other ways. I realized that I could take this experience as a personal affront, or accept it as part of the journey of life. This is probably why the thought "Why me?" never entered my mind. It happens to everyone else sooner or later, so why not me? But it didn't happen to me, it happened to my Mark. It's not about me, it's about him and his life and his memory. You bet I miss him terribly, and go through bouts of intense sadness and wish he were back with me. But I am not a victim, nor will I ever be one. I won't allow it.

Permalink Reply by Randolph L. Schrader on October 5, 2010 at 9:24pm

Marlena and Lois, your messages were wonderful. Thanks for sharing. We are all in common with each other in our life without our spouses.Every living second is a new but somehow memerous experience. There is no magic wand, rules or instuctions for us. Only we can know when its time to do what we do. And we only need to deal with it right or wrong.We only answer to ourselves. We are the only ones who understand and not criticize the decisions and actions that we do or dont do.
I recently got to meet a member from this site face to face but due from going to yet another funeral. I was lucky enough to have been able to do this and it was awesome.But we are all here on this site for each other whether we will talk or be able to see face to face, but we are here!!! Barb, you are welcome. Hugs to all. Hugs are good.

Permalink Reply by Jerry on October 5, 2010 at 9:54pm

This is a great thread. Death is truly a universal experience,most of us will have to face the death of a loved one if we live past out early years. Two years ago my cousin lost her 25 year old son in a tragic manner and I wondered at that time how she would be able to cope. It had to be her faith in God that keep her going.She has been very supportive to me since my wife passed on. Thanks to all the great people here ,you have made my days a little brighter.