My husband passed away 23 months ago of lung cancer. This is a hard time of year for me, for we had our first date on the 4th of july and 1 year later we got married. His birthday is in july and then he passed away in the begging of aug, after a very long illness. Things just don`t seem to get better, infact, they seem worst. The 1st year I was in shock and could not believed all this was real. But now I relize he is not coming back and it hurt more then it did in the first year. I cry less, but the pain is still there. I have no family where I live and very few freinds, so I have had to go it alone. The few freinds that I do have think I should move on and they don`t want to hear about how I am trying to but it so hard. I feel so losed all the time....

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Neal had turned 60 years old in June 2010 and passed October 15, 2010 from lung cancer that had spread to his liver, bones and brain.  We had 40 years 8 months of a wonderful marriage.  Neal was 19 years old and I was 17 years old when we married.  It is the first time I have ever been by myself. It was always me and Neal against the world. We depended and leaned on each other everyday.  I know I write it all the time, but I'll write it again, I miss Neal so much. 

 

Pete,  I am so sorry that you are shunned by your family and friends.  But I think it is like you said, they don't want to be reminded of how short life is and how terrible it is to lose your spouse.

 

I have said it before about the fact that I have become a great actress.  People think I am doing good, when in fact this madness, this lonelyness, this hugh hole in my heart, the half person I am now is just about more than I can deal with. 

Thank goodness for this site for like you said Pete, I am not alone.  We are all here for each other and on this site I can be honest as to how I feel.  HUGS

 

 

Pete, am not sure if I spoke to you before, yes this is an awful road to go down.  I have been in Therapy for 12 months now, and dont know if I could survive without it.  I can talk openly to my therapist, and she is so sweet. It is just someone you can talk to without, that feeling  of here we go again.  I have also joined a group of people that have lost there loved ones, and we meet up once a week, That is the best thing I could have done. I am disappointed in family, but with the help of my faith, I may be able to forgive them in time. take care.

Pete Bronson said:

Cathy I, too, lost my only love to Lung and Abdominal Cancers. My Rose was diagnosed on Sept 8, 2010 and passed away from the cancer Nov 27, 2010, we had no time to prepare and she had gone down hill so quickly we did not have time to even discuss treatments. She spent a month in the Hospital, most of it in the critical care unit. Rose did not make it to 56, her birthday was Jan 6th, we had been living together since  Feb 8. 1980 just 8 days after my 18th birthday.

 

I am shunned by my family and our friends, no one wants to be reminded of how terrible life is after the loss of your spouse. It is a very lonely existence but some how I do my best to carry on. I am contemplating therapy because I can no longer function in the business world, my emotions get the best of me many times in an hour, and have been told by my younger sister that I am ruined physiologically by this life event.

 

You are not alone, we all lean on each other here if for nothing more then a sympathetic ear and some compassion. Most of us here would agree that no one knows how hard this life experience is until it happens to them, although I would not wish this on anyone.

 

 

Hugs to all,

 

Pete

I am so sorry for everyones loss. This is a hard road to travel alone. Yesterday was my Ricky`s birthday, he would have been 63. It was a very sad day. He was told he had lung cancer April first 2009, I could not believe it, at first I thought it was an april fools joke, till I seen the docs report. Not only did he have lung cancer but it was every where in his body, even in his brain. Aug 5 2009 he died at home. He had all the treatments to prolong his life but I now wonder if he should have gotten them. They has such a bad side effect from them. The last 4 months that he lived, he was in so much pain and the treatments just made him feel worst. I still wonder if I made the right choices for him.  Pete I think this has ruined me physiologically as well, this aug. it will be 2 years for me, and I am no better at coping with it then I was 2 years ago. I thought I would be but the truth is I don`t think I will ever get over this loss. With lossing him, I also losed myself.

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