Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Corinne Mazerov on April 3, 2013 at 10:31am

Cheryl, I know what you're going thru.  My Paul passed away on Christmas Eve.  He'd been ailing with dementia.  It was sooooo horrible .  He knew he was dying.  He said one day,"Honey, listen to me. I know I'm dying.  Believe me, I' m dying."  How horrible?  But he felt it in one of his lucid moments.  It's been three months and I've finally stopped crying constantly; but I do tear up at the most unusual times.  Yes, I also know he's in a better place; but right now I'm selfish.  I miss him.  I still wait for him to say "God bless you!" when I sneeze.  I still listen for him.  We are going thru the same things; but we will be all right.  We have to be.  No one has given us a choice.

    I find the best help is to pull our your calendar and try to find activities to plan your days.  I am now buying tickets for Broadway shows, joining a gym, playing mah jongg, going to dinner with a friend.  Please start that process of anything you like.  Where do you live, Cheryl.  Wish I were with you to hug you and cry with you.  Hugs, Corinne in Pittsburgh, PA.   Please write back.

Permalink Reply by Janice F. on April 3, 2013 at 10:49am

I'm so sorry Cheryl.  I know your pain, its the worst thing that you will ever feel, and nobody can know till it happens.  I lost Don 9 months ago, after 39 years together, I still have times of disbelief.  It hurts so bad.  All you can do is keep going on, a day at a time, keep him in your heart.  My thoughts are with you, and my prayers.

Permalink Reply by nate eustis on April 3, 2013 at 12:12pm

So sorry for you loss. Lost my wife of 34 yrs 3 mths ago. I'm going to spousal bereavement group & it is good for me to be with other spouses who lost the love of their life. I'll keep U in my prayers

Permalink Reply by cheryl holbrook on April 3, 2013 at 7:40pm

Thank you all so very much, i truly appreciate the thoughts that you have been (or going through) what i now find myself dealing with.

 I was 16 when we married, so i have literally spent my whole life with him. Im so glad that our sons are grown up and I do not have little ones to have to be even more strong for. 

My heart goes out to each of you as well as you have lost that special someone also ((hugs))

Im doing my best to take care of me but i wish i could just climb in bed and sleep for a couple years just hoping some of the pain will diminish. I know i keep hearing it will get easier with time .... but while im in the moment time seems like a million miles away.

I will never stop loving , thinking about, or talking about the man who stole my heart and took it with him.

Permalink Reply by Corinne Mazerov on April 3, 2013 at 8:25pm

Cheryl dear,  I'm so glad you wrote back.  You are in my daily prayers.  Do you have a good support system?  Suggestion....try to get a little exercise...even just walking in your neighborhood if it is safe.  Set a goal for tomorrow.  Even making your bed and taking a short walk will do.  Hugs. Corinne

Permalink Reply by Carol Kayser on April 3, 2013 at 11:39pm

Dear Cheryl. So very sorry for your recent loss. It is so very new and your grief is understandably very raw. You were with your beloved a very long time. I met my husband
when he was 14 and I was 17. We were married 39 years. It's been 2 1/2 years for me now. I can only say to take one small step at a time and each hour at a time as the grief can stop you in your tracks. One must do the hard grief work to get through to the other side. I grieve too at the thoughts of not seeing my darling's face or feeling his broad shoulders hugging me. It's the hardest thing in the world I know.

So please come often to the site because we understand and can offer support to you.

Hugs,
Carol

Permalink Reply by Julie Larsen on April 4, 2013 at 10:04am

Cheryl,

I am so very sorry for your loss. My Charlie passed on April 9 2012 so it has been almost a year for us. I'm not sure that time itself does anything for you.  It's what you do with that time. It's very early but you are already doing one of the best things you can - you are writing about your loss, your husband and your love. And, you are right, it does help to read what others are feeling. You can say anything you want or need to here.

"There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are the messengers of overwhelming grief, of deep contrition, and of unspeakable love. ~Washington Irving

I wish you peace.     Julie