Dear Family of my Choice along with my Dearest Doug whom I lost so suddenly Sept. 29, 2010. Many of you are aware of my story so I won't bore you tooooo much I pray.I lost my teaching career a few years back in my mid 40's due to some back surgery that went astray. Turn the clock about 10 years down the road and the love of my life, my soulmate whom I imagined spending the rest of my life journeying with through life's adventures died after a bout of what we thought to be food poisoning. He was admitted into the hospital for tests and seemed to feel better,and on the fourth day was ready to go home. Next thing I knew he slipped into a coma and the MD's were hugging me and telling me he is not going to make it for he has lung cancer in it's last stage, plus numerous other complications. My world turned upside down and I wasn't believing them. I went home and brought back photos of us and things and books and blew bubbles and sang. I even slept in the bed the night before he died with my head on his warm chest and the oxygen mask over his face. I believe in the power of prayer. The nurse covered us both up. I had so much faith and believe humor is an avenue to wellness too. Those of you that know me, know that even in my darkest moment I try to find a crumb of humor to lighten the moment...for me, light is what keeps Doug alive in my heart and soul. The grief is still overwhelming me as I type. Sorry. Made it through Thanksgiving, and the winter holidays Christmas and Chanukah by myself, I haven't any children which I wish I had. New Year's Eve at 5 P.M. in a Sam's Club parking lot as I was crossing the lot to enter the store, a lady in an SUV came around the lane texting on her phone. I tried to get out of the way and screamed lady you are going to run over me. YUP, she stepped on the peddle and at roughly 35 mph she ran over my right leg and left arm and I was pinned under her car. She was turning at an angle. She stopped on top of me. I DID hear crunch. BTW she had no insurance and only received a citation. It wasn't over yet, she then backed over me to get off and crunched me again. Sam's Video Cam in the parking lot had it on video. I was sure Doug was coming for me. I remember him being there and telling me I will be all right because I still have a lot of lives to touch in this world. The nightmare of my new destiny without Doug by my side but instead in my heart and soul shining an inner light. After many surgeries, months in the hospital, having an inside leg amputation but still have the outside, and many other complications and a crushed left arm that now is held together with loads of hardware. BTW I am left handed too. God has humor too. Well, 5 months spent in a Nursing Home and progressing slowly to walk and help doing daily living activities, I found with Doug in my heart to encourage me to heal I could pass that on to others the way I knew how. I created with tongue depressors and some wood scraps I was given and markers and glue, Guardian Angels. I made roughly 170 or so of them. So many were grateful and it helped me too. I have missed life for so long and being home now really physically challenged with no further finances left for help, I have not stopped crying almost hourly missing Doug. I still must pick up his remains from the funeral home still. My life was put to a halt on Sept.29th and again on Dec. 31th 2010. 2011, God, I hope I make it. I have been much too long winded but thank you all again for your constant support. Need to go. Hugs and healing and LIGHT to you all. Love, Ellen Brant

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Replies to This Discussion

Ellen,

Welcome Back!!

Sending you lots of hugs and prayers for continued healing.  With all you have been through, your spirit is amazing!!  We may not be able to help you with your physical challenges, but we are here to lift and support you as you continue this journey.  You are an inspiration!!!

It's great to have you back...Hugs coming your way!

Thanks Marlena, You are an inspiration to me too. HUGS.

Marlena said:

Ellen,

Welcome Back!!

Sending you lots of hugs and prayers for continued healing.  With all you have been through, your spirit is amazing!!  We may not be able to help you with your physical challenges, but we are here to lift and support you as you continue this journey.  You are an inspiration!!!

It's great to have you back...Hugs coming your way!

Welcome back friend :)
Oh so so happy to have yu back Ellen. I am sorry I haven't been there for you as I wished to be. I wanted to call you so many times but life kept getting in the way. No excuses can make up for how sorry I am for all you have been through. You are a wonderful strong person and you've proven it in your struggle this year. As much as we have all endured, you suffered in your body so much more. We are here for you Ellen. We love you and you have been missed... So glad to have you back here (where none of us ever wanted to be, is that ironic or what??) Lots and lots of hugs

Welcome back, may you continue to heal body and soul, we are here for you,you were missed very much,Hugs

 

Dear Ellen,

I just wanted to let you know I am so glad that you have come so far, and are able to connect here at legacy once again.  It was a bit of a shock to learn all you have overcome thus far.  I remember you in my daily prayers and earlier today thought of you as I usually do, but wondered if you were home yet.  In any case, may God be with you and I pray that you increase in faith and strength.  Take care. 

God bless,

Suzanne

Barb, You were one Angelic Messenger that pulled me through some of the darkest moments in the hospital. I am grateful for your friendship. Jim hugs to you.
Barbara Roth said:
Welcome back friend :)
Suzanne, You are a blessing and a very special lady. The time you took to call me to chat, send cards, and pray for me I believe helped on my path of healing. Thank you for your genuine friendship. Take care of you. Gratefully, Ellen
 
Suzanne said:

Dear Ellen,

I just wanted to let you know I am so glad that you have come so far, and are able to connect here at legacy once again.  It was a bit of a shock to learn all you have overcome thus far.  I remember you in my daily prayers and earlier today thought of you as I usually do, but wondered if you were home yet.  In any case, may God be with you and I pray that you increase in faith and strength.  Take care. 

God bless,

Suzanne



Virginia said:

Welcome back, may you continue to heal body and soul, we are here for you,you were missed very much,Hugs

 HUGZ and thank you.

Kathy, Thanks for the welcome back note to the support group. Yes, ironic, welcome back to the last place on Earth we would like to be. However, with Doug in my heart and the prayers of all you angelic messengers, I got thus far for today. Long road ahead. Hope to be here for others too, sooner than soon. Hope to learn to walk and do everyday living skills totally on my own too, sooner than soon. I miss Doug more now than before and I am not sure that is possible. Take care of yourself. Hugs. Ellen

Kathy King said:
Oh so so happy to have yu back Ellen. I am sorry I haven't been there for you as I wished to be. I wanted to call you so many times but life kept getting in the way. No excuses can make up for how sorry I am for all you have been through. You are a wonderful strong person and you've proven it in your struggle this year. As much as we have all endured, you suffered in your body so much more. We are here for you Ellen. We love you and you have been missed... So glad to have you back here (where none of us ever wanted to be, is that ironic or what??) Lots and lots of hugs
Ellen,  It worked both ways --- great support team. Doug hugs to you.
Ditto!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Barbara Roth said:
Ellen,  It worked both ways --- great support team. Doug hugs to you.

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