Dear Family of my Choice along with my Dearest Doug whom I lost so suddenly Sept. 29, 2010. Many of you are aware of my story so I won't bore you tooooo much I pray.I lost my teaching career a few years back in my mid 40's due to some back surgery that went astray. Turn the clock about 10 years down the road and the love of my life, my soulmate whom I imagined spending the rest of my life journeying with through life's adventures died after a bout of what we thought to be food poisoning. He was admitted into the hospital for tests and seemed to feel better,and on the fourth day was ready to go home. Next thing I knew he slipped into a coma and the MD's were hugging me and telling me he is not going to make it for he has lung cancer in it's last stage, plus numerous other complications. My world turned upside down and I wasn't believing them. I went home and brought back photos of us and things and books and blew bubbles and sang. I even slept in the bed the night before he died with my head on his warm chest and the oxygen mask over his face. I believe in the power of prayer. The nurse covered us both up. I had so much faith and believe humor is an avenue to wellness too. Those of you that know me, know that even in my darkest moment I try to find a crumb of humor to lighten the moment...for me, light is what keeps Doug alive in my heart and soul. The grief is still overwhelming me as I type. Sorry. Made it through Thanksgiving, and the winter holidays Christmas and Chanukah by myself, I haven't any children which I wish I had. New Year's Eve at 5 P.M. in a Sam's Club parking lot as I was crossing the lot to enter the store, a lady in an SUV came around the lane texting on her phone. I tried to get out of the way and screamed lady you are going to run over me. YUP, she stepped on the peddle and at roughly 35 mph she ran over my right leg and left arm and I was pinned under her car. She was turning at an angle. She stopped on top of me. I DID hear crunch. BTW she had no insurance and only received a citation. It wasn't over yet, she then backed over me to get off and crunched me again. Sam's Video Cam in the parking lot had it on video. I was sure Doug was coming for me. I remember him being there and telling me I will be all right because I still have a lot of lives to touch in this world. The nightmare of my new destiny without Doug by my side but instead in my heart and soul shining an inner light. After many surgeries, months in the hospital, having an inside leg amputation but still have the outside, and many other complications and a crushed left arm that now is held together with loads of hardware. BTW I am left handed too. God has humor too. Well, 5 months spent in a Nursing Home and progressing slowly to walk and help doing daily living activities, I found with Doug in my heart to encourage me to heal I could pass that on to others the way I knew how. I created with tongue depressors and some wood scraps I was given and markers and glue, Guardian Angels. I made roughly 170 or so of them. So many were grateful and it helped me too. I have missed life for so long and being home now really physically challenged with no further finances left for help, I have not stopped crying almost hourly missing Doug. I still must pick up his remains from the funeral home still. My life was put to a halt on Sept.29th and again on Dec. 31th 2010. 2011, God, I hope I make it. I have been much too long winded but thank you all again for your constant support. Need to go. Hugs and healing and LIGHT to you all. Love, Ellen Brant

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Replies to This Discussion

Ellen,

I'm so sorry you had to go through what you did.

Is there any way you can send me your home address?

Barbara, Thank you so much for the lovely graphic. You are very special to share that. I left you a friend request on your page so I may send you my home address. God Bless you for asking. HUGS. Ellen

Barbara Wasilewski said:

Ellen,

I'm so sorry you had to go through what you did.

Is there any way you can send me your home address?

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