Today, I want to give everyone hope. It was 17 months yesterday that I lost my husband,  Mike, we were together 32 yrs. married almost 17 yrs. and 7 months ago I found this web site and when I did I was in such a deep depression and so lost my life was over. Mike had been sick for 10 yrs. he had emphysema, and it is a progresave, Illness, and to live 10 yrs. with it getting worse slowely was not easy to watch let alone live with it. To watch your soulmate and the love of your life go from being ok one minute, and with that I mean breathing ok with the oxygen to in a second not being able to get your breath and the gasping for air, the fear in his face and the look in his eyes pleading for you to help him and all you could do was turn up the O2 and try to keep him calm till help got here, then the hospital and begging him to not give up, was a pure living hell. and one I would do again in a heart beat if it was possable. I want to give you all some hope, hope that 7 months ago I would have never ever thought or dreamed  could happen and I didn't want to happen as my life was over. Today I want to tell you that because of this web site and  all the careing and encourgement  and  ONE very special friend, I am at a better place and at peace. In the last year Mike was alive I had to retire because of health issues and the plans we had made for the things we wanted to do once I was straigtened out enough health wise didn't happen. May was the month everything money wise was to kick in for me, and we were excited to be able to get going in fact the morning Mike died we had coffee on the porch came in I was getting on the puter to make plane reservations and he was going to lay down and take a nap and in a matter of seconds he was having the heart attack and just quit breathing and was on life suppoet for 4 days and my world ended.. Today I am living again thanks to the above mentioned, and I am going to live what time I have left doing what we had dreams of doing. To feel alive again is just wonderfull  to listen to music to remember with smiles, to laugh, To miss him and be greatfull for my life with him is  something I never ever thought would have happened, so I'm praying everyone here will at some point feel some joy and happiness again, There is HOPE for us all, god bless and HUGS to all