I NEED SOME ADVISE ON WHAT TO SAY WHEN SOMEONE THAT DID NOT KNOW THAT GEORGE PASSED LAST YEAR  ON 3/1/09 COMES UP TO ME AND WE START TALKING SOME HOW WE GOT ON THE SUBJECT OF VACATION I SAID SINCE GEORGE PASSED I WILL NOT RETURN TO THE PLACE WHERE WE WENT EVERY YEAR ON VACATION WHICH WAS WILDWOOD NJ THE PERSON SAID I DID NOT KNOW I SAID DON'T WORRY YOU WERE NOT HERE YOU WERE OUT AND I LEFT IT LIKE THAT. WELL THIS PERSON WENT ON AND ON OF HOW SORRY SHE WAS TO HEAR ABOUT GEORGE. SHE WOULD HAVE SENT ME A CARD I AGAIN TOLD HER PLEASE DO NOT WORRY ABOUT IT. I WAS WISHING SHE WOULD GET THE HINT AND LEAVE THE SUBJECT ALONE BUT NO SHE ALMOST HAD ME CRYING AGAIN BUT I FOUGHT THE TEARS OFF WHAT DO YOU SAY BESIDE THANK YOU WITHOUT SOUNDING NASTY?

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After 2 years I still see people who do not know about Barry. When they say their sorry I say Thank you it has been very hard for us. If they say anythiing else I just say it is really hard to talk about it. Hopefully then they will understand you do not or cant talk about it. I hope this helps but I know how you feel. I cant tell you how many times I have had to tell the story about what happened. Try and stay strong which I also know is hard.
Kathy, I know what you mean but I say firmly that a genuine warm felt condolences just does it and change the subject but one woman just like yours presisted so just started crying so she would stop. Sometimes I am the person who is avoiding some people, I think the table starts turning, when they think it is safe to approach you it is we who are not wanting them came to us.

with lots of hugs
i have also experienced people approaching me, with their condolonces, and its been 5and a half mo. i just say thank you it has been really hard and i still am going through really tough times and usually they will get the hint.

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