Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Connie H. on October 19, 2010 at 11:34pm

That word became the worst to me on September5,2009. I still detest it and don't use it and don't want to be refered to one as.I am and always will be Phill's wife, his lady, forevermore.

Permalink Reply by Marlena on October 20, 2010 at 7:15am

Hi Connie,

For me, it was March 16, 2009. I HATE that word!!! I will forever be Mrs. Unz. I used to remember when people called me Mrs. Unz and I'd have to look around because it felt to weird to me, my mother-in-law was the Mrs. Unz. Now, I wait to hear that. It makes me crazy when people try to use Ms. with me; I automatically correct them. When filling out paperwork, if it is not essential I do not check the widow box (only on government documents), I always check married or Mrs.

Just because legal technicalities say we are no longer married does not make us unmarried or feel any less married. I am MrsForever and I make sure everyone knows it!

Permalink Reply by Karen Kikukawa on October 20, 2010 at 7:34am

Widow..as bad as being told that now you are single. Oh for tax purposes as my financial planner said. I think it was a reality check for him to see what that word did to me. What reality checks. For me I lost Dane, Dec 3, 2008. It's been quite a ride, so far, and I'm still learning to balance. One day at a time, but I've learned to accept things as they are. Nothing will change how he made me feel. I take that around with me always.

Permalink Reply by kathy obiedzinski on October 20, 2010 at 8:49am

the word that i do not ever want to hear is mom dad did not make it. also i would not want to hear someone falling and dying right where they fell i also agree with marlena the day of 3/1/09 every year on this date it a bad word

Permalink Reply by Kay Arcuni on October 20, 2010 at 8:58am

I know what you mean, it has been 9 weeks since my Joe passed and I hate when someone says that I am now a member of the widows club. I hate clubs, I'm not a joiner. Then I was at a John Edward event in my town and the lady I was sitting next to and I started talking and she said she was surprised I still wear my wedding ring. Why wouldn't I, I am very proud that I have been married for 33 years.
I will always be married to Joe and will always wear his ring.

Permalink Reply by Joan on October 20, 2010 at 9:44am

You're right about that word "widow". The first time I went to my cardiologist after Jim died, they wanted me to update my information. When I saw that word I almost passed out, literally. I got dizzy, lightheaded, then everything sort of went black. The woman at the desk thought I was going to fall, but I got myself together somehow. I marked "married". That was only about two months after Jim died. Of course in the examining room I cried, but better than passing out. I am now at 6 months and two weeks and going through a terrible time. I feel like I'm going backwards instead of forward. Someone said you go through bad times about every three months. Has anyone else heard of this?

Permalink Reply by Joan on October 20, 2010 at 9:44am

You're right about that word "widow". The first time I went to my cardiologist after Jim died, they wanted me to update my information. When I saw that word I almost passed out, literally. I got dizzy, lightheaded, then everything sort of went black. The woman at the desk thought I was going to fall, but I got myself together somehow. I marked "married". That was only about two months after Jim died. Of course in the examining room I cried, but better than passing out. I am now at 6 months and two weeks and going through a terrible time. I feel like I'm going backwards instead of forward. Someone said you go through bad times about every three months. Has anyone else heard of this?

Permalink Reply by kathy obiedzinski on October 20, 2010 at 9:45am

Joan said:

You're right about that word "widow". The first time I went to my cardiologist after Jim died, they wanted me to update my information. When I saw that word I almost passed out, literally. I got dizzy, lightheaded, then everything sort of went black. The woman at the desk thought I was going to fall, but I got myself together somehow. I marked "married". That was only about two months after Jim died. Of course in the examining room I cried, but better than passing out. I am now at 6 months and two weeks and going through a terrible time. I feel like I'm going backwards instead of forward. Someone said you go through bad times about every three months. Has anyone else heard of this?

Permalink Reply by kathy obiedzinski on October 20, 2010 at 9:47am

JOAN: I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL IT HAS BEEN 18 MOS. THAT I LOST MY ANGEL OF A HUSBAND I AM STILL GOING THRU A ROUGH TIME I COULD GO A FEW DAYS WITHOUT CRYING THEN I COULD FILL A PALE FULL OF TEARS THE DEPRESSION THAT I HAVE IS STILL WITH ME I DO NOT KNOW WHEN OR IF IT WILL LEAVE ME YOU TAKE CARE

Permalink Reply by laurie thomas on October 20, 2010 at 7:41pm

yes you are right the word widow is horrible and i can not write it down i am still married even on facebook i am married and always will be but a lot of these reply's are not helpiing be people keep telling me it is going to get easier but there are alot of people are here year or more out and still grieving like it was yesterday and my husband dies on 7/4/10 so did my father in 1975 and now i have another reason not to celebrate the 4th Laurie
Karen Kikukawa said:

Widow..as bad as being told that now you are single. Oh for tax purposes as my financial planner said. I think it was a reality check for him to see what that word did to me. What reality checks. For me I lost Dane, Dec 3, 2008. It's been quite a ride, so far, and I'm still learning to balance. One day at a time, but I've learned to accept things as they are. Nothing will change how he made me feel. I take that around with me always.

Permalink Reply by Connie on October 20, 2010 at 7:48pm

I, too, hate that word. I do still consider myself married and that will not change. It doesn't matter to me what anyone else says, what matters is the way I feel and I feel I will always be married to the same man for as long as I shall live. I loved him when he was with me and I still love him today and always will. I would rather have just a picture and memory of him than any other man in this world. This is just the way I feel.

Permalink Reply by bc on October 21, 2010 at 9:51pm

I am married, not single, not "W___". When asked I always say I'm married. I still wear my wedding rings along with Brad's (I had it re-sized) on my left hand and always will. ust the way I want to live my life. I will always be married to my one true love, best friend and soul mate.

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