With regards to the question of not liking the word 'widow' I consider myself married until the day I leave this world, but technically the world doesn't, such as the Social Security Administration, and other bureaucratic offices and every single application of every kind seems to have the question about my marital status. I will always, always keep my wedding rings on until the time comes to bestow my only valuable possession to my only granddaughter, I'll keep his clothes and possessions as my own, but if I had to make a decision it would be preferable to me to be called widow rather than single. As single implies that I am looking for someone for a partner which I am not. To me the word 'widow' implies that eventually I will want another partner also, so to me in my mind and in my heart I'm still married and always will be, but I know that the government and employment agencies think otherwise so I'll go along with 'widow.' for the sake of being politically correct. The word I really don't like is dead. This seems so final. So over. It reminds me of our mortality. I've been told that those who have passed are not really dead, they are just different. At least I feel better in knowing Dan is with me, whether I feel him with me is another question, but I really do 'know' that he is. I just have to keep reminding myself.